"Nina Kiriki Hoffman - Courting Disasters" - читать интересную книгу автора (Hoffman Nina Kiriki)

Simon licked his lips. The odd paralysis of the previous night had passed, leaving him afraid it would
return. тАЬIтАЩm eating,тАЭ he said, nodding toward his arm.

тАЬDo you want to live, or not?тАЭ she asked. She stirred the bowl of chicken broth, looking down as floating
bits of parsley swirled in the wake of her spoon.

тАЬNot very much,тАЭ he said, and felt the loss of control overtake him again. His mouth opened, but he had
nothing to do with it.

She glanced up. тАЬMake up your mind,тАЭ she said. She fed him, and something in him ate. The next day,
they took him off the IV.

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Every morning a nursing technician came in at 7:30 to take his temperature and blood pressure. After one
of her visits, the curtain to SimonтАЩs left twitched back, the beadchains rattling in their track above, and he
found himself staring into the large gray eyes of a bald boy. Chris. Although he found himself participating
in ChrisтАЩs life vicariously, Simon had never been curious enough to pull the curtain aside. The child was
wasting away, and he seemed more aware of it than his doctor or his mother.

тАЬYouтАЩre mean,тАЭ Chris told him. тАЬYouтАЩre too mean to her. DonтАЩt you even care?тАЭ

тАЬIf you worked a little harder, you could convince her youтАЩre really going to die, and the relationship
could move into a more comfortable stage for both of you,тАЭ Simon said. He had read Kubler-RossтАЩs
work after his mother died, trying to label and reduce his feelings so they wouldnтАЩt overwhelm him.
тАЬYouтАЩre already at acceptance, and sheтАЩs still in denial. You going to let it go on until itтАЩs too late? SheтАЩll
have to fight it all afterwards anyway.тАЭ

тАЬI know. ThereтАЩs time,тАЭ said Chris. тАЬIтАЩll do it. So are you going to lighten up on your girlfriend?тАЭ

тАЬI didnтАЩt ask her here.тАЭ

тАЬAw, come on. YouтАЩre giving life away with both hands. Why should you care who picks it up? When
you were still asleep, she talked to me. She said some religions say suicides donтАЩt go to the next life, but
get stuck in nightmares, hovering over this earth, never moving on. She believes that, you know. SheтАЩs
trying to pull you back from the edge. Maybe you donтАЩt care. Maybe you want to be on the edge. But
you donтАЩt have to make it so hard on her.тАЭ

тАЬYouтАЩre asking me to delude her? Take her back to stage one, while IтАЩm at stage five?тАЭ

They stared at each other for a long moment.

тАЬYouтАЩre hurting her, and I donтАЩt like that,тАЭ Chris said at last.

тАЬThe same to you,тАЭ said Simon.

He fell asleep watching Chris stare at the ceiling.

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