"Mary Jacober - The Black Chalice" - читать интересную книгу автора (Jacober Mary)

 I was his squire then, and with us traveled some twenty knights, an escort of mounted
soldiers, a baggage train, and many servants. We were five days north from the
crossroads at Saint Antoninus when we met a caravan of traders, ill-tempered as hungry
dogs. They told us the bridge at Karlsbruck had been swept away in a storm, and they
foolishly blamed it all upon the duke, our lord Gottfried. He had been seven years in the
Holy Land, valiantly serving Our Lord and the Holy Cross, but they still expected him to
be tending bridges in the backwoods of the Reinmark.
The merchants, with heavy wagons and valuable cargo, had no choice except to retrace
their steps, and go east again to cross the river at the great bridge of Karn. We urged the
count to do the same.
God, on what tiny hinges turn the lives of men! For we lingered there, he and I, on that
wild grey autumn day, and he looked to the southeast, where the wagons of the traders
were winding sullenly into the valley; and he looked to the north, where the high forests
of Helmardin waited dark and forbidding.
"It will cost us a fortnight to go back," he said. "More, perhaps, if the weather turns. If
we took the forest road, we would scarcely lose two days."
There was a stir among the men, and quick, uncertain looks. They were good men, all
of them. Two of the knights, Reinhard and Otto, had been to Palestine with Karelian.
Several of the soldiers, enlisted at Gottfried's court in Stavoren, had been imperial guards,
and served the emperor Ehrenfried himself.
Reinhard held the rank of seneschal, and commanded the count's escort. He was a man
who always spoke bluntly, without flowery words or flattery, yet under his gruff manner
he was totally devoted to his master.
"Helmardin has an evil name, my lord," he said. He was a native of the north country;
he knew Helmardin's reputation very well. And he was not a youth like myself, or a
foolish churl like the ones we met later at the inn. He was a brave knight and a good
Christian, and when I saw Karelian was not inclined to take his arguments seriously, I
swallowed my own fears and said nothing.
So many times, in the days and the weeks which followed, I made the same decision,
for which I now bear an eternal burden of guilt. I chose to say nothing. Who was I, a mere
squire, to question the judgment of a lord like Karelian of Lys? He was twice my age. He
had fought in the service of a dozen great kings, and in Jerusalem, too. He was afraid of
nothing. More than anything in the world, I wanted him to think well of me. Even when
my own heart faltered at the thought of riding into Helmardin, I admired him for it. I
knew the world was full of heathen creatures and their evil, but I wanted to deny my
knowledge. I wanted to believe, as my father had, that there was nothing to fear in the
dark except the follies of our own minds, and nothing to fear in the woods except the
wolves.
So to my shame I said nothing. But Reinhard argued with him, and some others did as
well. And in the end, when he saw they were serious, he smiled тАФ he was a beautiful man
when he smiled тАФ and took a royal coin from his pouch, and tossed it playfully in the palm
of his hand.
"I will leave it to God," he said. "The crown, we go by Helmardin. The cross, we go by
Karn."
The coin flew and fell. We looked down and saw the silver helm of Ehrenfried
shimmering on the road.
"So be it," he laughed, and wheeled his horse into the wind. He was happy with his fate,
and none of us could say anything afterwards to change his mind.
 He was riding to his bride.