"Nancy Kress - The Flowers of Aulit Prison" - читать интересную книгу автора (Kress Nancy)

The purple eyes deepen even more. "Pek Walters is dead."
"Yes," I say. "Perpetually. I was with him when he entered the second stage of death."
"And where was that?" He is testing me.
"In Aulit Prison. His last words instructed me to find you. To ... ask you something."
"What do you wish to ask me?"
"Not what I thought I would ask," I say, and realize that I have made the decision to tell
him everything. Until I saw him up close, I wasn't completely sure what I would do. I can no
longer share reality with World, not even if I went to Frablit Pek Brimmidin with exactly the
knowledge he wants about the scientific experiments on children. That would not atone for
releasing Ano before the Section agreed. And Pek Brimmidin is only a messenger, anyway. No,
less than a messenger: a tool, like a garden shovel, or a bicycle. He does not share the reality
of his users. He only thinks he does.
As I had thought I did.
I say, "I want to know if I killed my sister. Pek Walters said I did not. He said 'sick brain
talks to itself,' and that I had not killed Ano. And to ask you. Did I kill my sister?"
Pek Brifjis sits down on one of the stone tables. "I don't know," he says, and I see his neck
fur quiver. "Perhaps you did. Perhaps you did not."
"How can I discover which?"
"You cannot."
"Ever?"
"Ever." And then, "I am sorry."
Dizziness takes me. The "low blood pressure." The next thing I know, I lie on the floor of
the small room, with Pek Brifjis's fingers on my elbow pulse. I struggle to sit up.
"No, wait," he says. "Wait a moment. Have you eaten today?"
"Yes."
"Well, wait a moment anyway. I need to think."
He does, the purple eyes turning inward, his fingers absently pressing the inside of my
elbow. Finally he says, "You are an informer. That's why you were released from Aulit Prison
after Pek Walters died. You inform for the government."
I don't answer. It no longer matters.
"But you have left informing. Because of what Pek Walters told you. Because he told you
that the skits-oh-free-nia experiments might have ... No. It can't be."
He too has used a word I don't know. It sounds Terran. Again I struggle to sit up, to leave.
There is no hope for me here. This healer can tell me nothing.
He pushes me back down on the floor and says swiftly, "When did your sister die?" His eyes
have changed once again; the long golden flecks are brighter, radiating from the center like
glowing spokes. "Please, Pek, this is immensely important. To both of us."
"Two years ago, and 152 days."
"Where? In what city?"
"Village. Our village. Gofkit Ilo."
"Yes," he says. "Yes. Tell me everything you remember of her death. Everything."
This time I push him aside and sit up. Blood rushes from my head, but anger overcomes the
dizziness. "I will tell you nothing. Who do you people think you are, ancestors? To tell me I
killed Ano, then tell me I didn't, then say you don't know -- to destroy the hope of atonement
I had as an informer, then to tell me there is no other hope -- no, there might be hope -- no,
there's not -- how can you live with yourself? How can you twist people's brains away from
shared reality and offer nothing to replace it!" I am screaming. The bodyguard glances at the
door. I don't care; I go on screaming.
"You are doing experiments on children, wrecking their reality as you have wrecked mine!
You are a murderer -- " But I don't get to scream all that. Maybe I don't get to scream any of