"Mercedes Lackey - Aliens Ate My Pickup" - читать интересную книгу автора (Lackey Mercedes)

Aliens Ate My Pickup


Yes'm, I'm serious. Aliens ate my pickup. Only it weren't really aliens, jest
one, even though it was my Chevy four-ton, and he was a little bitty feller,
not like some Japanese giant thing . . . an' he didn't really eat it, he just
kinda chewed it up a little, look, you can see the teeth-marks on the bumper
here an' . . .

Oh, start at the beginin'? Well, all right, I guess.

My name? It's Jed, Jed Pryor. I was born an' raised on this farm outsida
Claremore, been here all my life. Well, 'cept for when I went t' OU.

What? Well, heck fire, sure I graduated!

What? Well, what makes you thank Okies tawk funny?

Degree? You bet I gotta degree! I gotta Batchler in Land Management right
there on the wall of m'livingroom andтАФ

Oh, the alien. Yeah, well, it was dark of the moon, middle of this June, when
I was out doin' some night-fishin' on m'pond. Stocked it about five years ago
with black an' stripy bass, just let 'em be, started fishin' it this year. I'm
tellin' you, I got a five pounder on m'third cast this spring an'тАФ

Right, the alien. Well, I was out there drownin' a coupla lures about
midnight, makin' the fish laugh, when wham! all of a sudden the sky lights up
like Riverparks on Fourth of July. I mean t'tell you, I haven't seen nothin'
like that in all my born days! I 'bout thought them scifi writers lives over
on the next farm had gone an' bought out one'a them fireworks factories in
Tennessee again, like they did just before New Years. Boy howdy, that was a
night! I swan, it looked like the sky over ol' Baghdad, let me tell you! Good
thing they warned us they was gonna set off some doozies, orтАФ

Right, the night'a them aliens. Well, anyway, the sky lit up, but it was all
over in lessn' a minute, so I figgered it couldn't be them writers. Now, we
get us some weird stuff ev'ry now an' again, y'know, what with MacDacтАФthat's
MacDonald-Douglas t'youтАФbein' right over the county line an' all, well I just
figgered they was testin' somethin' that I wasn't supposed t' know about an' I
went back t' drownin' worms.

What? Why didn' I think it was a UFO? Ma'am, what makes you thank Okies got
hayseeds in their haids? I got a satylite dish on m'front lawn, I watch NASA
channel an' PBS an' science shows all the time, an' I got me a subscription t'
Skeptical Inquirer, an' I ain't never seen nothin' t'make me think there was
such a thang as UFOs. Nope, I purely don't believe in 'em. Or I didn't,
anyway.

So, like I was sayin' I went back t' murderin' worms an' makin' the bass