"Larson, R D - Case Of The Sexy Gams" - читать интересную книгу автора (Larson R D)

"Guy's a body builder; works out at that fitness place, Gregg-three g's is his name." Alma says to me. "To think I've been god damn fiscally contributing through him," she points at Mike, "to get this Gregg's teeth straightened and him being at least forty years old."
"A real sucker, huh?" I said, making note in of it on my notepad.
Alma looks at me suspiciously before she blurts out. "Look, I've been giving Sherisa money, too, but she always gave it to him, her so-called boyfriend. She said she didn't do drugs anymore, not even speed. Robert Ellsworth Stunning III. What a stupid name-I even had him investigated. Nothing. He was just an ordinary guy, they said."
"Well, I need to nose around, but I'll get back to you both," I told them and split.
I had another greasy burger before I went over to Guys and Gals Fitness Spa. I tried to get my head around the idea that I was going to go look at all these buffed guys after three burgers. I could only summon up pity, but no regret.
It was a big building with a racquet court and fancy weight room. There were a few people around. Finally, I found my pro-bono dyke, Freddie. She was sitting in the Jacuzzi with a skinny blond that reminded me of Ann Hutch or Hatch or Heck or whatever! We shook hands, me leaning over that steaming pit feeling like a pig about to be boiled.
"Hey, do you know Robert Stunning?" I leaned back on my heels, grunting and worried I'd let a burger fart. She gazed up at me with that knowing look.
"Yep, I know him and his soul mate too. Gregg was here an hour ago. He said he was going with Pammy to the doubles weight room. But, Pammy he didn't, did he?" She turned to the woman next to her. Pammy shook her head, "No."
"So where'd he go" I squeeze my eyes together hoping it would work on my butt cheeks.
"Some babe came in to talk to him. Big boozums and long legs." Pammy said. She rolled her eyes at Freddie. I laughed and so did Freddie. Hell, at least we were all on the same page. Sherisa knew I'd be here, so what was she trying to do?
"Where's this double weight room?" I groaned, standing. Freddie pointed toward a hall. I notice her wet, shiny arm and shivered at the loss to mankind.
"Third door. Let me know what it was like," she cracked. Pammy laughed out loud.
I went down the hall and opened the third door. Gregg was there all right. He was tied up on a weight bench with a huge barbell in the brackets above his head. Funny thing was, he was tied with gauze and duct tape. I almost lost it.
"Hey, you're Gregg, huh?" I looked at his blood-shot eyes scared stupid in a movie star face. I bent over to let him loose when something hit me. It kind of glanced off my square head.
I swung around and grabbed the beautiful chick by the arm. She dropped the iron bar which fell on Gregg's groin. All hell broke loose then. Mike and Alma LeGrand burst through the door. There was a street cop behind them.
"What the hell you hitting me for?" I yelled at Sherisa LeGrand. She started to cry.
Her mother went to comfort her and her father went to let poor old Gregg up so he could suffer his pain in private. I could see it hurt three-g's Gregg a lot when Mike ripped off the duct tape. Me and the cop stared at one another.
"We found a body behind the car lot; it was her boyfriend. Her folks ID-ed him as Robert Ellsworth Stunning III." The cop told me.
"And they called her?" I asked him. He nodded.
"And the station sent you?" He nodded again.
"Mike helped Gregg into the bathroom," Alma told me as she patted Sherisa's back. I scratched a minute on my belly before I asked Sherisa the question.
"Why'd you tie up Gregg? Were you going to get rid of him so he wouldn't talk?" I asked her when she raised her head.
"No, no. That's not it. I read a note from him that I found in Robert's underwear drawer. Gregg told Robert that if he married me, that it was over for the two of them. Gregg had written that he would rather kill Robert than share him with me. He was afraid because we'd have children and be closer than the two of them. That's just not true. I would have done anything to make Robert happy, even if I had to marry the two of them." She started sobbing.
Like a dumbbell it hit me. OH shit, I turned and ran into the bathroom. Mike was flat on his back, a gash in his forehead.
I ran into the lobby, worrying that the killer had gotten away.
There was a great racket going on with shouting swearwords. A bunch of people were crowded together. As I got closer, I was filled with admiration. Gregg Three-G's was caught. He wasn't running anymore. Hell no, there was Freddie and Pammy holding Gregg while he struggled to get away. The cop ran up behind me.
"You give us a bad name, you swarmy slut," shouted Pammy, pinching Gregg's nipple. Freddie pulled his hair with her free hand. Gregg was splotchy, read to cry.
I laughed as the cop flipped the cuffs on Gregg as he was twisting trying to get away from Freddie and Pammy. The cop was reciting the Miranda and the gals were joining in high falsettos. Gregg looked like he'd swallowed a litter of hornets.
Aw, you know the rest. I broke up with Bette, because I never could stay on a diet or stop smoking. Sherisa went to Arizona with her parents and never would go out with me. I asked Freddie and Pammy to join the firm and help me investigate heinous crimes.
They declined, so I went fishing to kill the time until my next case walked in on a great pair of gams.
The End


R D Larson is a writer living in both California and Washington, R D Larson has been ePublished in lovewords-ezine, the copperfieldreview.com (current issue) and will have a story in deeplyshallow.com in the spring issue. As an eAuthor of Mama Stories, R D Larson believes eReading is a future that will come to be.