"Tim Lebbon - The Repulsion" - читать интересную книгу автора (Lebbon Tim) ago -- this plea would have stirred him in other ways. Now it merely made
him afraid. They went up in the rickety lift and Maria waited for Dean to unlock the door. She leant against the wall in the hallway, fingers splayed against the cold plaster as if reading its history. She did not even undress before flopping onto the bed and stretching her way into a deep sleep. Dean opened the doors and went out onto the balcony. The thought of going inside and lying next to Maria, perhaps naked, perhaps with love in mind, now seemed alien and foolish. However much he tried to convince himself otherwise, their relationship was still a shadow of its former self, and coming here could have been a big mistake. If there had been some serious misdemeanour it would be simpler, but in reality it was simply a matter of things growing stale. Neither of them wanted to be the one to finally pull the plug. He lit a cigarette, inhaled deeply and watched the smoke haze away in the dark, picked up briefly by the lights from the harbour. It was a noisy night in Amalfi, straining scooter motors underlying the aimless car horns that seemed to spring out of nowhere, and unknown conversations were shouted through the dark. He could sense rather than see bats jerking about in the night, dipping and weaving like points of black light thrown from a negative torch. From inside he heard the toilet gurgling its displeasure at someone flushing elsewhere in the hotel. Outside again, a splash as something fell into, or jumped out of the water down below, confident of safety under cover of night. He stood to go to the loo. The cigarette had burned down and fused itself before the full length mirror, naked, a breast in each hand. Her nipples were pink and risen, as if recently pinched. "Have you ever come face to face with yourself?" she asked, turning to look at him. Seconds later her reflection followed suit. Its eyes were not her eyes. They were eyes painted by a bad artist, unable to follow him around the room, shallow and soulless. "Am I asleep?" the reflection said. "I've pinched, but I don't wake up." A pain in his fingers pinched Dean and jerked him from sleep, and for a couple of seconds he did not even know which country he was in. He dropped the cigarette butt and stomped it to death, hissing as he felt the blister already rising on his index finger. Shaking, he went in from the balcony and shut the doors, locking out the night. Maria was naked on the bed, covers screwed around her waist. Her nipples were soft and pink. After running cool water over his fingers Dean stripped and climbed into bed next to Maria. There was no warmth to share with her; not because she was cold, but because he could not imagine cuddling as they once had. The next day they were booked on a boat trip to Capri; Dean had thought that exploring together may encourage sparks from the dying embers of their love. Now, the most he could hope for was a smile for old times. And he realised, in a moment of shocking clarity, that he really didn't know Maria that well at all. He was unaware of her past, other than what she had chosen to tell him. If she had problems, maybe he had not even discovered them yet. If she had always wanted to come here, and she did |
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