"Murray Leinster - A Logic Named Joe" - читать интересную книгу автора (Leinster Murray)

SNAFU is telecastin' comes on your logic's screen. Or you punch "Sally Hancock's Phone" an' the
screen blinks an' sputters an' you're hooked up with the logic in her house an' if somebody answers you
got a vision-phone connection. But besides that, if you punch for the weather forecast or who won
today's race at Hialeah or who was mistress of the White House durin' Garfield's administration or what
is PDQ and R sellin' for today, that comes on the screen too. The relays in the tank do it. The tank is a
big buildin' full of all the facts in creation an' all the recorded telecasts that ever was madeтАФan' it's
hooked in with all the other tanks all over the countryтАФan' everything you wanna know or see or hear,
you punch for it an' you get it. Very convenient. Also it does math for you, an' keeps books, an' acts as
consultin' chemist, physicist, astronomer, an' tea-leaf reader, with a "Advice to the Lovelorn" thrown in.
The only thing it won't do is tell you exactly what your wife meant when she said, "Oh, you think so, do
you?" in that peculiar kinda voice. Logics don't work good on women. Only on things that make sense.
 Logics are all right, though. They changed civilization, the highbrows tell us. All on accounta the
Carson Circuit. And Joe shoulda been a perfectly normal logic, keeping some family or other from
wearin' out its brains doin' the kids' homework for 'em. But somethin' went wrong in the assembly line. It
was somethin' so small that precision gauges didn't measure it, but it made Joe a individual. Maybe he
didn't know it at first. Or maybe, bein' logical, he figured out that if he was to show he was different from
other logics they'd scrap him. Which woulda been a brilliant idea. But anyhow, he come off the
assembly-line, an' he went through the regular tests without anybody screamin' shrilly on findin' out what
he was. And he went right on out an' was duly installed in the home of Mr. Thaddeus Korlanovitch at
119 East Seventh Street, second floor front. So far, everything was serene.
The installation happened late Saturday night. Sunday morning the Korlanovitch kids turned him on
an' seen the Kiddie Shows. Around noon their parents peeled 'em away from him an' piled 'em in the car.
Then they come back in the house for the lunch they'd forgot an' one of the kids sneaked back an' they
found him punchin' keys for the Kiddie Shows of the week before. They dragged him out an' went off.
But they left Joe turned on.
That was noon. Nothin' happened until two in the afternoon. It was the calm before the storm.
Laurine wasn't in town yet, but she was comin'. I picture Joe sittin' there all by himself, buzzing
meditative. Maybe he run Kiddie Shows in the empty apartment for awhile. But I think he went kinda
remote-control exploring in the tank. There ain't any fact that can be said to be a fact that ain't on a data
plate in some tank somewhereтАФunless it's one the technicians are diggin' out an' puttin' on a data plate
now. Joe had plenty of material to work on. An' he musta started workin' right off the bat.
Joe ain't vicious, you understand. He ain't like one of these ambitious robots you read about that
make up their minds the human race is inefficient and has got to be wiped out an' replaced by thinkin'
machines. Joe's just got ambition. If you were a machine, you'd wanna work right, wouldn't you? That's
Joe. He wants to work right. An' he's a logic. An' logics can do a Iotta things that ain't been found out
yet. So Joe, discoverin' the fact, begun to feel restless. He selects some things us dumb humans ain't
thought of yet, an' begins to arrange so logics will be called on to do 'em.
That's all. That's everything. But, brother, it's enough!
Things are kinda quiet in the Maintenance Department about two in the afternoon. We are playing
pinochle. Then one of the guys remembers he has to call up his wife. He goes to one of the bank of logics
in Maintenance and punches the keys for his house. The screen sputters. Then a flash comes on the
screen.
"Announcing new and improved logics service! Your logic is now equipped to give you not only
consultive but directive service. If you want to do something and don't know how to do itтАФask your
logic!"
There's a pause. A kinda expectant pause. Then, as if reluctantly, his connection comes through. His
wife answers an' gives him hell for somethin' or other. He takes it an' snaps off.
"Whadda you know?" he says when he comes back. He tells us about the flash. "We shoulda been
warned about that. There's gonna be a lotta complaints. Suppose a fella asks how to get ridda his wife
an' the censor circuits block the question?"