"Jacqueline Lichtenberg - Dushau Trilogy 01 - Dushau" - читать интересную книгу автора (Lichtenberg Jacqueline)

She asked, "Jindigar, are you sure you're not staying here out of a need to court danger, from depression
over the incredible losses you've sustained? As a human might do?"

"Dushau might do such things in the emotional turbulence of the onset of Renewal. But I have quite a few
more years. This shock alone wouldn't trigger Renewal for me, or Dinai or Seum. And what I told
Trinarvil is true: I owe it to Kamminth and her Oliat to complete this debriefing. Also, I owe it to the
Allegiancy to carry out the Emperor's orders."

She was listening with more than her ears. Renewal was the period of about a century every thousand
years when Dushau retired to their home planet, took mates, raised families, and became younger day by
day. "Kamminth meant a lot to you."

"Yes," he admitted heavily. Again, he put his forehead in his hands as if to soothe a deep ache. "She
mated me during Renewal once. We have a son home nowтАФin Renewal. Her last dying concern was for
him."

He looked sharply at her, saw her sympathy and shook his head. "No, you don't understand. Such a
reaction was most unlike KamminthтАФuntil Lelwatha became her Emulator. Lelwatha was more to the
Oliat than a sun to its planets. He was like a deep, still pond, clear to the depths of soul; the radiant
stillness acquired through ten Renewals. He exemplified the beauty of ultimate attainment, and his mere
presence awakened some of that in us. Kamminth was sharp, young, irascible. Her spiky temper and
self-absorption, though simply youthful, made it difficult to be with her. But when Lelwatha came, the
Oliat steadied in balance. We doubled in perceptivity. And we became open to joy. I learnedтАФI hope I
learnedтАФso much from him.

"Krinata, I'm so afraid I'm going to lose his touch, that I will be unable to give meaning to his life because
we didn't have enough time. And KamminthтАФoh, Kamminth. She was learning too. NowтАФ"

As he broke off, she was aware that he'd revealed more than he'd intended, but she was fascinated to
have glimpsed the spiritual value of the Oliat to its officers. To them, it was a maturing, soul-enriching
experience. And that, not money or adventureтАФor powerтАФwas why Dushau worked Oliat for Planetary
Survey.

In his silence, she felt the immensity of his loss, and how it could scar and cripple him for life. She said,
"I'll get Fiella to make some tea."

She went into the dining room and summoned Fiella while he continued to stare at his screen. How does
a Dushau cry? She'd made a professional point of learning all she could about them, and still knew
nothing important except that he needed a good cry right now. So did Krinata, but with less cause. She
sat at the table waiting for the tea and wiped at her leaking eyes with a furious embarrassment.

When she took the tea in, along with some cakes Fiella had provided, he was totally absorbed in his
work. She curled up in her favorite chair, meaning to stay only long enough to drink a cup of tea. She
watched him sip his tea and munch distractedly while torrents of data swept across all five of the display
screens arrayed around the desk.
As he worked, the strain lines smoothed from his face and he seemed younger. She tried to imagine him a
thousand years younger. She didn't even know how old he was. But Raichmat had Dissolved more than
thirteen hundred years ago.