"Jeanie London - Retrieval" - читать интересную книгу автора (London Jeanie)

Not even the sunny afternoon warmed her chill.
Had she imagined those voices?
Maybe, but Katie sure wasn't imagining the way she felt right now. Weird. Like an alien in her own skin.
Her counselor had told her that she would need time to adjust to the changes she'd been making, but those changes had all been good. Right?
"Yes," Katie said sternly, both a reminder and the comforting sound of a real voice.
The dog sidled up against her legs, as if sensing her disquiet She reached down to scrub the furry head before remembering why Oodles Marie was cinched to the bench. She aimed a glare at the dog but couldn't keep scowling with that big wet tongue licking her hand.
"I know what you're doing, young lady," she said.
"You think if you make nice I'll forgive you. Chasing those ducks. . . honestly. 1 can't trust you out of the house." But Oodles Marie was only a product of her environment--a street dog that Katie and her girls had given a home. Another castaway adrift in life, who only wanted to be loved and safe. Was it really Oodles Marie's fault she hadn't yet realized that every' small animal to happen by didn't need to be her next meal?
How could Katie ground the dog, anyway? They'd

just moved into a five-floor walk-up with no back yard.
She worked long hours at the dry cleaner, and though the girls walked Oodles Marie after school, for a dog used to running the streets, any day spent inside was a long one.
"You caught yourself a sucker, and you know it." Katie finally gave in and petted the furry head, which made the dog preen in pleasure, tail wagging.
Katie understood being cooped up too well to force another to endure the same fate. Not even this little carnivore.
And definitely not her two beautiful daughters.
Things were going to be different. Now that she'd finally broken free of Shea, she could see how horribly destructive life had become, all the fighting and screaming, the hostility and fear. . . Shea haq made his choices, but she couldn't, wouldn't, let him continue choosing for them all.
Another chill blasted down her spine when she thought about how long Shea had been on the crash and burn course that had landed him in jail on armed robbery charges. Again.
Did she really want the girls to think the way their father lived was the way they should choose to live?
No.
Did she really want them to think they had to remain emotional hostages to a man gone out of control?
No.
Katie just wasn't sure why it had taken her this long to see the destructive situation for what it was. Why had she let Shea treat her-all of them-badly for so long?
Those were questions she'd been trying to answer recently. And with the help of her counselor at Fairwinds Women's Center, she'd been finding the answers.

29



30

JEANIE LONDON

And taking control of her life again.
So then why, with all these positive changes in her life, was she sitting here on this beautiful day, hearing voices that pitched her into full-fledged anxiety mode?
Glancing at the legal documents spread around her, Katie decided the counselor was right. The finality of ending her marriage must be working her nerves. She wasn't cracking up--wouldn't--not when she had the chance to live the life she'd always wanted to live.
With a renewed burst of determination, she clutched the pen in her hand and scrawled her name across the first flagged line on the divorce papers.
Good-bye, Shea. She wasn't going to play the dutiful wife and ride out his latest stilit in jail.
She had a new job, a new place to live, and a new lease on life. With .the help of the caring people at Fairwinds Women's Center, she was showing her girls that life meant growing and changing and learning. . . and putting mistakes in the past.
Flipping to the next flag, she signed.
Just because she'd gotten caught up with Shea when she'd been too young to know better didn't mean she had to continue compounding the mistake. Her daughters deserved a mother who could demand more out of life, a mother who could turn things around when they needed turning, a mother smart enough to find new options.
And if she didn't find the strength to fix things now, how could she show the girls that love shouldn't be frightening? They didn't deserve to be screamed at and threatened just because their father was drinking.
School should be a place of possibilities and opportunity, not a refuge because they were scared of what awaited them at home.

RETRIEVAL 31

Staring at the last blank line, she poised her pen over the documents and very deliberately signed her name.
Kathleen Kennedy McGuire.
Free.
Finally free.
Gathering the documents, she slipped them in the folder, inhaling .to dispel the last of her uneasiness.