"Karawynn Long - Adjusting the Moon" - читать интересную книгу автора (Long Karawynn)

 "So where does this leave us?" she asked.
"I don't know. What do you mean?" He bent over to tie his shoelaces,
not looking at her.
"Well, is this 'goodbye forever'?" She tried to put a joking tone into
her voice, but it came out harsh and almost accusatory. "Will I see you
again?"
"Sure you'll see me again." His tone implied that she was being silly.
"God, we have all the same friends, Mel -- we could hardly help it. I didn't
mean that I never wanted to see you again. I just don't think we should
continue things . . . on the same level as before."
"I don't see how you can say that." All the frustration and confusion
she'd been suppressing suddenly exploded. Her voice wavered, and despite her
resolve, she was very close to tears. "How can you say you're falling in love
with me, and then break it off?"
"You don't understand. I've been hurt before, and I don't want to go
through it again."
"I do understand. I've been hurt too, but that doesn't mean that I duck
and run at the first sign of emotional attachment." She was half-yelling at
him now, and crying for real.
"That's not what I'm doing." He seemed about to argue further, then
shook his head. "Look, I'm sorry it turned out like this. I really didn't
mean to hurt you."
She didn't respond. If she opened her mouth she would only yell at him
again. Of course it would hurt her -- he had to have known that, and he
didn't care.
After a moment he said softly, "Look, I'm gonna go now. I'll talk to
you later, or something." He walked past her, and in a minute Melanie heard
the front door unlock, and then close behind him.
He was gone -- it hit her like a blow to the chest, and she started
crying again, in deep, raw, racking sobs that went on for hours.
#
The next few days seemed interminable. Thinking about it didn't help,
but somehow that was all she could do. She'd forget for a minute, and then
the horrible realization would hit her again. It wasn't even just Jason
anymore -- she'd never had a relationship that turned out right, not even as
far back as high school, and she wondered if somehow it was her fault. She
kicked herself for taking such a defensive tone. She should have been
understanding, persuasive, making him want to stay instead of accusing him.
On Monday she made herself go to work, even though it still felt like
she had a hole in her chest. While on lunch she saw the vidboard ad for
Virtual Worlds, and their new "Simulated Personalities."
She'd stopped by the place that evening, mostly on impulse, and when
they told her how much it would cost she almost choked. Still, she had this
fantasy building up in her mind, about Jason coming back, and the two of them
being together . . . Melanie decided she could take a couple hundred out of
her school fund; she could make up the difference before the summer was over.
#
He woke her up, kissing her neck and caressing her breast under the
t-shirt. This time she was wide awake, if somewhat distracted by the
knowledge that these rather intimate sensations were being artificially