"Improper English" - читать интересную книгу автора (MacAlister Katie)

УWhat do you call it?Ф

УI use creative euphemisms instead,Ф I said with great dignity and allowed her to have just one lemon biscuit. They were my favorites and very expensive, but she was my landlady and she had volunteered to give me her opinion on my work in progress. Sacrifices were sometimes inevitable. УI am, after all, striving to be a writer. I am expected to be a bit on the exuberant side, verbally speaking.Ф

Isabella pursed her lips and tapped an elegant finger to their rosy fullness. Seeing her perfect mouth in her perfect face, topping her perfect body, made me suck in my bottom lip and gnaw off the few tendrils of chapped skin that graced it, all the while making a mental note to check out whether or not the National Health Insurance plan for visiting Americans covered plastic surgery.

УEuphemisms like lance of love and anything with a helmet are passщ, Alix. I suggest you try something a little less flowery.Ф

УFlowery, huh?Ф She nodded. I thought about it. УHow about if I change that first line to read Lady Rowena gasped in horror at the sight of Lord RaoulТs throbbing manhood...Ф

УNo,Ф Isabella said firmly, shaking her head at me, her pageboy swinging emphatically. УNo throbbing. Nothing should throb, it sounds like itТs infected. Find another phrase.Ф

УMmm ... gear and tackle?Ф

She raised a perfectly shaped pale eyebrow. УI should think not.Ф

УUm . . . donkey rig?Ф

УNo.Ф

УNatureТs scythe?Ф

УReally, Alix, youТre not being serious.Ф

УHow about tarse? Tarse is good. I like tarse. Tarse sounds manly and firm, and not in the least bit infected.Ф

УNo-o-o,Ф she drawled after considering for a moment. УItТs too blunt. If youТd take my adviceЧФ

УPintle?Ф

УWhat?Ф

УToo archaic?Ф

УDefinitely.Ф

УHow about poleax?Ф

She shuddered delicately. УToo violent. Why must you beat around the bush? If you wonТt call it a cock, simply use the word member.Ф

УMember,Ф I scoffed. УMember! How prosaic. Member.Ф

She glanced at the thin gold watch on her delicate wrist. I abandoned my protests and hurried on, deciding it was better to fight the big battles. If itТs one thing IТve learned, itТs not to sweat the little stuff. УWell, all right, for the sake of moving on, IТll go with member. Now, about the next sceneЧФ

УYou know, darling, honestly, I think youТre just a bit over your head with this project. You said yourself that youТve never written anything, and to plunge in with a romance seems a bit...Ф

УDaring?Ф

She sighed. УAmbitious. Alix, I think you should reconsider your plan. Surely your mother would understand if you decided it was too much for you to do in three months. Why donТt you just enjoy your holiday rather than trying to write the entire time? You could travel about, visit Europe, see the rest of EnglandЧФ She stopped when I made a rude face.