"The Sympathy Society" - читать интересную книгу автора (Masterton Graham)

Jenny came to see him in hospital. Jenny was plump and pale with scraped-back hair. She worked in the accounts department at Hiya Intelligence, but ever since he had started working there, she had made excuses to come up and see him in software. She had brought him a box of Milk Tray chocolates and a John Grisham novel.

СYou've lost an awful lot of weight, Martin,Т she said, laying her little nail-bitten hand on top of his.

He tried to smile. СThroat's still sore. Besides, I haven't got much of an appetite.Т

СHow long have you got to stay in here?Т

СI don't know. The psychotherapist said he wasn't very happy with me. I said, "What's happiness got to do with anything?"'

'So what did he say?Т

СHe said, "If you don't know, you ought to stay in hosнpital."'

Jenny reached down and fumbled in her big woven bag. She produced a folded copy of the Evening Standard and handed it to him. СThere,Т she said. СRead that ad I've circled. I don't know if it'll help, but you never know.Т

It was a small display advertisement in the classified section, under Personal Services. It read: СGrieving? Suicidal? When you've lost a loved one, The Sympathy Society understands how you feel. Unlike all other counselors, we can offer you what you're really looking for.Т Underneath, there was a telephone number in Buckinghamshire.

Martin dropped the paper on to the floor. СI don't think so, Jenny. The last thing I need is even more sympathy. I've had so much sympathy I've been feeling sympathy-sick. Like eating a whole box of chocolates at one sitting.'

СBy the way-Т he said, handing her back the box of Milk Tray, СI don't like milk chocolate. You eat them.Т

СIt's all right. Give them to the nurses.Т

She looked so disappointed that he took hold of her hand and squeezed it. СI'm just pleased that you came, that's all. I can't expect you to understand how I feel. Nobody can. Sarah was everything to me. Everything. I'm not making a song and dance about it. I simply don't see the point of living without her.Т

СWhat about your family? Your mum and dad? What about all of your friends?Т

СThey'll get over me.Т

СYou really think so?Т she challenged him, with tears in her eyes, and her lower lip quivering. СYou're hurt, of course you are. You're absolutely devastated. But why should even more people have to suffer?Т

СI'm sorry, Jenny. It's my life and I have the right to do what I want with it. And that includes ending it.Т

Jenny stood up, and sniffed, and picked up her bag. СIf that's the way you feel, I hope you make better job of it next time.Т

Martin gave a painful cough and held out his hand to her. СDon't be angry with me, Jenny. Please.Т

СI'm not. I just can't stand to see you giving in. I'd give my life for you, you know that.Т

He looked into her eyes and he could see how much she loved him. He had the dreadful, unforgivable thought that if only she had died, instead of Sarah. Hadn't she offered her life? And if it could make any difference, would he have taken it?

СThanks for the book, and the chocolates,Т he said.

She didn't answer, but she leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead. Then she left the ward, dancing awkwardly in the doorway with a man on crutches.

Martin lay back on the bed. The sun crossed the ceiling like the spokes of a broken wheel. He dozed for a while, and when he opened his eyes it was almost four o'clock.

СYou've been sleeping,Т said a soft voice, very close to his ear. СMmm,Т he said. Then he suddenly opened his eyes wider. That was Sarah's voice. He was sure that it was Sarah's voice. He turned sideways and she was lying right next to him, her eyes bright, her blonde hair spread across the pillow. She was smiling at him in that gently mocking way she had, when she caught him doing something embarrassing.