"Maureen McHugh - Virtual Love" - читать интересную книгу автора (McHugh Maureen F)

тАЬYou are quite beautiful,тАЭ he says. My chest constricts, and I feel caught out,
naked. What made him say that? тАЬHere,тАЭ I say, тАЬeveryone can be beautiful.тАЭ I mean
it to be nice, a way of saying that it doesnтАЩt mean anything but it comes out sounding
disparaging. He blushes.

ThatтАЩs a really nice touch, and I wonder how he does it; my program doesnтАЩt
include blushing.

тАЬCopies of beauty arenтАЩt really beautiful,тАЭ he says. тАЬTheyтАЩre perfect but all
alike.тАЭ

тАЬWhat makes real beauty?тАЭ I ask, but I already have an idea what heтАЩs going
to say. Something about originality.

тАЬIn real beauty,тАЭ he says, тАЬthere is always something strange, an asymmetry.тАЭ

Alicia isnтАЩt asymmetrical in any way. I made her to be like a dancer. And now
he has me thinking of myself as not Alicia. тАЬIтАЩm just not sure I understand you,тАЭ I
say lightly.

He shakes his head. тАЬI donтАЩt say things very well.тАЭ

тАЬMaybe you are a poet.тАЭ I am trying to smile, trying to make the appropriate
noises. Trying to keep things from becoming serious.

тАЬNo,тАЭ he says sharply, abrupt, тАЬIтАЩm not.тАЭ

Sometimes conversations in the Salon are very strange, suddenly intimate,
because itтАЩs not oneself that is really talking or more, it is oneself which is really
talking from behind the safety of the mask.

тАЬI havenтАЩt seen you in the Salon before,тАЭ I say.
 тАЬIтАЩve been lurkingтАЭ he says. тАЬGhosting around. IтАЩve seen you before.

Can I ask you a question?тАЭ

I shrug.

тАЬDo you have more than one persona? If IтАЩm out of line, tell me. But there is
another woman who comes here and something about her reminds me of you. An
older woman in a linen dress, all patterned, with her hair pulled back?тАЭ

Kristiana. Yes, sheтАЩs my persona, but of all the personas to link together,
Kristiana and Alicia. TheyтАЩre nothing alike; Kristiana is an old wise woman, tall and
strong with her gray-white hair pulled back in a knot tied with an ocher cord. тАЬNo,тАЭ I
lie. тАЬNo, IтАЩm just me.тАЭ

He smiles, but he looks perplexed. And IтАЩm thinking thinking, when was the
last time that I wore Kristiana? I donтАЩt wear her often. Almost never to the Salon. I