"Maureen McHugh - Virtual Love" - читать интересную книгу автора (McHugh Maureen F)

He is still there. And he doesnтАЩt even notice me come in. The white-haired girl
with the snake tattoo curling up her skinny arm draws me one of those tall beers, a
virtual bier. And I lean on the bar and watch the people and wait for him to notice
me, to see if he will.

His eyes slide across me once without recognition. ThatтАЩs okay, IтАЩm patient. I
look at the posters, Marlene on the wall in her Blue Angel pose. I glance back from a
workerтАЩs movement poster and his eyes are on me again тАФ not really looking at me;
he is listening to someone else. His eyes wander away. They are radical blue.

And then they come back to me; we are looking at each other.

I have made a mistake. I should have avoided him. His hair is the wild
gray-black of a storm cloud, soft and full around his face. He is a master. And he
can see through the mask, can see underneath me, read all the insecurities and needs
out of which I build my personas.

When he is looking at me, I forget Mick, just like I forgot Alicia. I know
myself, a tiny woman in a chair, held in by seat restraints, wearing a VR visor and
gloves. A woman who couldnтАЩt have a treadmill because she doesnтАЩt have a leg to
stand on. Flipper babies they call us when we are little, seal babies, and even though
I know I should be grateful that I was born with normal arms and hands, IтАЩm not,
IтАЩm just not. I want to be normal. He is as beautiful and terrible as an angel, one of
the thrones or seraphim, many-eyed, that surround God, and in the heat of his gaze,
I feel the mask melt away and I am exposed for what I really am.

I reach up for the visor, because it is the fastest way to leave, because I am
going to cry.

тАЬWait!тАЭ he says, interrupting the conversation. тАЬWait, I know you!тАЭ

That is the problem, I think, but I stop.

The chair clatters behind him as he stands тАФ the sysop of the Rathskeller is
good, things like that happen here тАФ and he comes to me. тАЬWhat is your name?тАЭ he
asks.

тАЬMick,тАЭ I say.

He is tall this time, very tall, over six feet I would say. He would be tall even to
Sulia, who is the tallest of my personas.

тАЬIтАЩve been looking for you,тАЭ he says. тАЬEver since you left the French place. I
looked on Tu Do Street, from the veranda of the Continental, and left a message for
you on the moon.тАЭ

I was in both of those places, but I was a ghost, so no one ever told me I had
any messages.

тАЬTell me how you get your walk,тАЭ he said. тАЬTell me how you make your