"Robin McKinley - A Knot in the Grain" - читать интересную книгу автора (McKinley Robin)

trouble. This too she had learned when she was young.
Sahath smiled sadly. тАЬI carry the mark, lady, it is true, but no mage am I.тАЭ Jolin, staring at him,
holding her worldly knowledge just behind her eyes where everything he said must be reflected through it,
read truth in his eyes. тАЬI was one once, but no longer.тАЭ
Jolin relaxed, and if she need not fear this man she could pity him, for to have once been a mage and
to have lost that more than mortal strength must be as heavy a blow as any man might receive and yet
live; and she saw the lines of sorrow in his face.
Lily stood staring at the man with the sad face, for she knew no more of mages than a child knows of
fairy tales; she would as easily have believed in the existence of tigers or of dragons, of chimeras or of
elephants; and yet JolinтАЩs face and voice were serious. A mage. This man was a mageтАФor had been
oneтАФand he could speak to her. It was more wonderful than elephants.
Sahath said, тАЬSome broken pieces of my mage-truth re-main to me, and one of these Lily wishes me
to tell you: that I can speak to herтАФmind to mind.тАЭ
Lily nodded eagerly, and seized her old friend and men-torтАЩs hands in hers. She smiled, pulled her
lips together to whistle, тАЬIt is true,тАЭ and her lips drew back immediately again to the smile. Jolin tried to
smile back into the bright young face before her; there was a glow there which had never been there
before, and JolinтАЩs loving heart turned with jealousy and fear reawakened. For this man, with his
un-reasonable skills, even if he were no proper mage, might be anyone in his own heart. Jolin loved Lily
as much as any person may love another. What, she asked herself in fear, might this man do to her, in her
innocence, her pleasure in the opening of a door so long closed to her, and open now only to this
stranger? Mages were not to be trusted on a human scale of right and wrong, reason and unreason.
Mages were sworn to other things. Jolin understood that they were sworn to goodness, to rightness; but
often that goodness was of a high, far sort that looked very much like misery to the smaller folk who had
to live near it.
As she thought these things, and held her dearer-than--daughterтАЩs hands in hers, she looked again at
Sahath. тАЬWhat do you read in my mind, mage?тАЭ she said, and her voice was harsher than she meant to
permit it, for LilyтАЩs sake.
Sahath dropped his eyes to his own hands; he spread the long fingers as if remembering what once
they had been capable of. тАЬDistrust and fear,тАЭ he said after a moment; and Jolin was the more alarmed
that she had had no sense of his scrutiny. No mage-skill she had, but as a healer she heard and felt much
that common folk had no ken of.
LilyтАЩs eyes widened, and she clutched JolinтАЩs hands. Sahath felt her mind buck and shudder like a
frightened horse, for the old loyalty was very strong. It was terrible to her that she might have to give up
this wonderful, impossible thing even sooner than the brief span of an overnight guestтАЩs visit that she had
promised herselfтАФor at least freely hoped for. Even his mageтАЩs wisdom was awed by her strength of
will, and the strength of her love for the aging, steady-eyed woman who watched him. He felt the girl
withdrawing from him, and he did not follow her, though he might have; but he did not want to know
what she was thinking. He stood where he was, the two women only a step or two distant from him; and
he felt alone, as alone as he had felt once before, on a mountain, looking at a dying army, knowing his
mage-strength was dying with them.
тАЬIтАФтАЭ he said, groping, and the same part of his mind that had protested his halting so long before
sundown protested again, saying, Why do you defend yourself to an old village woman who shambles
among her shrubs and bitter herbs, mouthing superstitions? But the part of his mind that had been moved
by LilyтАЩs strength and humility answered: be-cause she is right to question me.
тАЬI am no threat to you in any way I control,тАЭ he said to JolinтАЩs steady gaze, and she thought: Still he
talks like a mage, with the mage-logic, to specify that which he controls. Yet perhaps it is not so bad a
thing, some other part of her mind said calmly, that any human being, even a mage, should know how
little he may control.
тАЬItтАФit is through no dishonor that I lost theтАФthe rest of my mage-strength.тАЭ The last words were
pulled out of him, like the last secret drops of the heartтАЩs blood of a dragon, and Jolin heard the pain and