"Shirley Meier & S. M. Stirling - Fifth Millenium 05 - Shadow's Son" - читать интересную книгу автора (Meier Shirley)

exasperated, тАЬDonтАЩt you have any will to survive?тАЭ just as sheтАЩd been thinking sheтАЩd be happier dead.
Even when I started to get stronger, even when she praised me, she always took it back by saying
someone of her race two years younger could slice me to skunkbait or something like that.
Trying to make me useful, she said. As if I was worth nothing before. The image had stayed,
since someone on the ship had spoken off-hand of her being forged into steel: her on an anvil, ShkaiтАЩra
over her with the hammer. No one ever asked the steel what shape it wants to be. ItтАЩs made to be
used.
тАЬIтАЩm remembering again,тАЭ she said aloud in the dark, to no one. She felt her own tears, and began the
deep breathing to soothe them, a trick that ShkaiтАЩra had taught her, which had, like everything ShkaiтАЩra
had taught her, been ground into her instincts by endless repetition, and showed up whether she wanted
them to or not, like traitors. тАЬI shouldnтАЩt remember. It doesnтАЩt do anything but hurt.тАЭ
Then, being a child, sheтАЩd taken it all as part of life, however much the pain, knowing no other
choice. Like everyone else on the ship, seeing what fates MeganтАЩs friends had suffered at the hands of
Habiku Smoothtongue, sheтАЩd got drawn into the feud up the river, even fought, risked her life for it, when
Francosz had been in danger. He had given his, and been buried as a warriorтАФthough not with more
honor, Sova had not failed to notice, than ShkaiтАЩraтАЩs cat. Grief had been black as Fehuund; like any
brother and sister theyтАЩd had their spats, but heтАЩd been all the family she had left. Without him she was
alone.
At the end of it, Sova had accepted her and Megan, along with Rilla and Shyll, as her parents by
adoption. Her blood-parents were dead or gone, run out of Brahvniki; sheтАЩd heard the mob cry, after the
race, тАЬTo SchotterтАЩs house! Bring torches!тАЭ SheтАЩd also been dimly aware adoption gave her certain
protections, at least on paper. I didnтАЩt even know it in words then, she thought, in the dark. I was a
child. It had been instinct to cling to her only shelter, to not want to know what theyтАЩd do if she refused
what they asked. What would they have done?, she wondered. No one respectable in FтАЩtalezon or
Brahvniki would have adopted me or taken me for an apprentice. An orphanage, maybe, getting
trained how to do scutwork. Or theyтАЩd, have kept me on as a servant. Or just thrown me on the
street.
SheтАЩd learned quickly not to complain; never to complain. Never to be anything but happy here,
whatever they did. Never to be difficult in any but an innocent childтАЩs way, that theyтАЩd expect, in a
spoiled childтАЩs way, that they could laugh at. When ShkaiтАЩra hadnтАЩt been busy training her to cut off her
tongue at the roots, as the Thanish saying wentтАФтАЬOh, you evil adoptive parents, if you loved me youтАЩd
let me do what I want,тАЭ sheтАЩd laugh, mocking, reducing it to thatтАФSova had trained herself, whenever
her feelings werenтАЩt the grateful foundlingтАЩs.
Now she was fourteen and a warrior, if a warrior was one whoтАЩd been in a real fight; she had begun
to see it all with an adultтАЩs eyes. They were attached to her now; she knew that. Megan, the wicked
witch, had never wanted to consider them slaves and was genuinely loving. ShkaiтАЩra loved her in her own
odd way, even if only because sheтАЩd been molded into one ShkaiтАЩra could love by ShkaiтАЩra herself.
Whatever else the world might call her, no one could ever say she, Sova, blood daughter of zight-less
Schotter ValdersтАЩsen, adopted daughter of the Slaf Hikarme, didnтАЩt know where her bread was
buttered. But only a child need worry about that.


II
Matthas Bennas, fessas, resident of Brahvniki, he signed.
Spy, he didnтАЩt.
The paper was an invoice for sheet rubber from Karoseth, his home town, southwest of the City
Itself, on the coast. Yeolis called the sea the Miyatara, Zak called it the Mitvald, both meaning Midworld.
Arkans called it the Arkan Sea.
The rubber was only processed in Karoseth, actually, the raw material coming from further south.
Matthas had not seen his birthplace for a decade, having lived here in Brahvniki; for a moment the