"Modesitt, L E - Recluse 10 - The Magic Of Recluse" - читать интересную книгу автора (Modesitt L E)

"Exile . . ."
"You see, Lerris, there is no place in Recluce for unfocused dissatisfaction," added Aunt Elisabet. "Boredom, inability to concentrate, unwillingness to apply yourself to the fullest of your ability-these can all allow chaos a foothold in Recluce."
"So the real question facing you, Lerris, is whether you want to take the dangergeld training, or whether you would rather just leave Recluce. Forever."
"Just because I'm bored? Just because I put a little too much pressure on a wood clamp? For that I have to choose between exile and dangergeld?"
"No. Because your boredom reflects a deeper lack of commitment. Sloppy work on the part of someone who is doing his best is not a danger. Nor is sloppy work when the honest intent is perfection, provided, of course, that no one has to rely on the sloppy work for anything that could threaten their life if it failed." Aunt Elisabet looked somehow taller, and there was a fire behind her eyes.
I looked away.
"Are you saying that you have honestly been happy trying to achieve perfection in woodwork?" asked Uncle Sardit.
"No." I couldn't very well lie. Aunt Elisabet would catch it.
"Do you think that it would become easier if you continued to work with me?"
"No."
I took another slice of bread and a second wedge of cheese. I didn't remember eating the first, but I must have. I sipped the fruit punch only enough to moisten my mouth, since I was cold enough inside already.
"Now what?" I asked before taking another bite.
"If you decide to take the dangergeld training, the masters will work with you for as long as necessary, in their judgment, to prepare you for your dangergeld. After training, you cannot return until you have completed the charge laid upon you.
"If you choose exile, you will leave. You cannot return except with the permission of the masters. While not unheard-of, such permission is rarely given."
"Just because I'm bored? Just because I'm young and haven't settled down? Just because my woodwork isn't perfect?"
"No. It has nothing to do with youth." Aunt Elisabet sighed. "Last year, the masters exiled five crafters twice your age, and close to a dozen people in their third and fourth decade undertook the dangergeld."
"You're serious, aren't you?"
"Yes."
I could tell she was. Uncle Sardit, for all his statements about doing the talking, hadn't said a word in explanation. I was getting a very strange feeling about Aunt Elisabet, that she was a great deal more than a holder.
"So where do I go?"
"You're sure?" asked Uncle Sardit, his mouth full.
"What choice is there? I either get plunked down on a boat to somewhere as an exile, knowing nothing, or I try to learn as much as I can before doing something that at least gives me some chance of making a decision."
"I think that's the right choice for you," said Aunt Elisabet, "but it's not quite that simple."
After finishing my bread and cheese in the strained atmosphere of the house, I went back to my quarters over the shop and began to pack. Uncle Sardit said he would keep the chair and the few other pieces until I returned.
He didn't mention the fact that few dangergelders returned. Neither did I.


III

LIKE A LOT of things in Recluce, my transition from apprentice to student dangergelder just happened. Or that's the way it seemed.
For the next few days after my rather ponderous and serious conversation with Aunt Elisabet and Uncle Sardit, I continued to help out around the carpentry shop. Uncle Sardit now asked me to rough-shape cornices, or rough-cut panels, rather than telling me to. And Koldar just shook his head, as if I were truly crazy.
He shook it so convincingly that I began to wonder myself.
Then I'd hear Uncle Sardit muttering about the inexact fit of two mitered corners, or the failure of two grains to match perfectly. Or I'd watch him redo a small decoration that no one would see on the underside of a table because of a minute imperfection.
Those brought back the real reason why I couldn't stay as his apprentice-the boring requirement for absolute perfection. I had better things to do with my life than worry about whether the grain patterns on two sides of a table or panel matched perfectly. Or whether a corner miter was a precise forty-five degrees.
Perhaps it suited Koldar, and perhaps it kept the incursions of chaos at bay, but it was boring.
Woodworking might have been better than pottery, but when you came right down to it, both were pretty dull.
So I didn't mind at all when, several days later, Aunt Elisabet announced that I had better get my things together.
"For what?"
"Your training as a dangergelder, of course. Do you think that the masters just hand you a staff, a map, and some provisions, and hustle you aboard a ship to nowhere?"
That thought had crossed my mind, but I quickly dismissed it in the face of my aunt's insistence.
"What about saying good-bye to my family?"
"Of course, of course. We're not exactly barbarians, Lerris. They've been expecting you for some time, but you're not an apprentice any longer. So what you do is strictly up to you. The masters at Nylan are expecting you, and several others, the day after tomorrow."
"That's a good distance . . ." I hinted, hoping that Aunt Elisabet would indicate that the masters would provide a carriage, or a wagon. While I had a few silver pence, I certainly had no desire to spend them on riding the High Road. Nylan was a full day's walk, and then some.
"That it is, Lerris. But did you expect the masters to come to you?"
I hadn't thought about that one way or another.
Aunt Elisabet cocked her head, smiling, as if to indicate that the sunny morning was passing quickly. It was, and, if I had to be in Nylan by the following evening . . .
Another thought crossed my mind. "When on the day after tomorrow?"
"No later than noon, although I suppose no one would mind if you were a trifle later than that." Her smile was kindly, as it usually was, and the sun behind her still-sandy hair gave her the look of ... well, I wasn't sure, but Aunt Elisabet seemed to be more than I had thought. Why, I couldn't say, just as I couldn't explain why woodworking seemed so incredibly boring.
I swallowed. "I'd better get going. That's an early rising tomorrow, and time to make on the road."
She nodded. "I have some flake rolls for your parents, if you're going that way. And you'll find a set of boots, with the right trousers and cloak, laid out on your bed."