"Silistra - 02 - The Golden Sword" - читать интересную книгу автора (Morris Janet E)

Uris. Uris. I had not realized. It is a drug to take with utmost care. It looses
that part of us which must tear and rend and kill. It frees of inhibition,
retards moral judgment, masks fatigue and pain with its own strength. I had
never submitted myнself to it in the past. The word pulsed great red letters
before my eyes, and I could see little else. I could not see Chayin, kneeling
again with the shaker in hand, nor Hael. I could not feel my bonds, the strain
of my weight upon my arms, still lashed to the stanchion.
After a time another thought came to me, and the red mist faded, to be replaced
by a blackness through which I wandered without form. I heard ChayinТs words
again, echo chain: What your mind expected, your body demanded, I have given
you. And I answered it УnoФ until from sheer exhausнtion I stopped, cold, alone,
mid-place between noнwhere and nothing, and knew what I had done. And the dark
became lighter. I had form once more. I walked the halls of MiТysten once again.
My feet Сtrod the saw-toothed MiТysten grass. This time I needed no guidance, no
collar of stabilizaнtion around my neck.
I found Estrazi behind the first door I chose to open of that endless hallway of
same-seeming doors. I felt no surprise that he should be so easily found, he who
is seldom enfleshed. He sat upon the ground, and I joined him, sitting close
beside, content to watch the flameglow dance upon his skin for a longer time
than I have yet lived.
And he spoke to me; a smooth strong breeze in my mind, for my ears did not hear
him. Finally he folded his arms over his chest, and those eyes that touch what
they see burned within me. He said to me that I must do as he bid.
I replied that I could not do so, that I would do what mortal flesh could do,
but no more.
My father pointed out to me that if I did not use my skills, others would use me
through them. That I myself would be my greatest enemy.
And I replied that it was he who had made it thus, and he must unmake it, for I
would not and could not be what he would have me be.
And Estrazi laughed that gentle laugh that is like the first spring water
bubbling, white at his rightТ hand, Raet, Shaper son of Kystrai, appeared out of
sparkling air.
I would have risen, but I could not. Raet sat, completing our triangle.
He hested a blue-white ball of jagged-edge crysнtal through the air toward me. I
raised my hands before me, but it was what I found behind my eyes thatХstopped
it, whirling, midway between, us.
УTake it,Ф Raet said, pushing it hard toward me, while his fingers played upon
the knee of his crossed legs. The ball was suddenly closer, a small distance. I
evened it.
УI will not.Ф And my words were for Estrazi, as I tried to send the fiery ball
toward the greatest among the Shapers.
УYou will, in the fullness of time,Ф said Estrazi kindly. The blazing blue-white
form regained the middle between us. УLook what you do, with so much ease before
us. Remember. When you are ready, it is yours.Ф
I shook my head. I would not.
УSo that I can be a better plaything for Raet, a more efficient instrument of
your designs?Ф I took my eyes from the ball for just a moment, to look in my
fatherТs eyes.
УSurely,Ф he said, and the jagged crystal ball, unimpeded, hit me in the head
and exploded within my brain. It illuminated within me every crevice and dark