"Jim Munroe - Angry Young Spaceman" - читать интересную книгу автора (Munroe Jim)

get its hose into my glass.
тАЬWhoa, Charlie,тАЭ I said as I snatched up the glass. It would have sucked
it back up in a second if I had let it. The charliebot has its charms, to be
sure, but when it comes to class and breeding тАФ well, itтАЩs no jeevesatron.
It stood there for a second, processing the fact that it couldnтАЩt charge
me for a drink I hadnтАЩt ordered, nor take a drink out of my hand. Then it
rolled away. When it stopped, it barked a word I recognized as a curse
from the ghettos of the most depraved Nebular planets. A word,
incidentally, I had never used тАФ even in a joking, over-the-top way with
my friends. How was it getting exposed to that kind of language?
Jesus, I thought. Spaceports are weird places.
And then it got even weirder.


***


Before I even write the next line I want to put in a disclaimer. I canтАЩt
stand the thought of someone reading this and thinking тАЬOh wow, this guy
is total xenophobic trash!тАЭ Because thatтАЩs what I would think if I read the
next few lines cold. This is the situation: I was totally paranoid because
the charliebot was talking some serious evil-alien shit, and I was worried
they were regulars. I wish it wasnтАЩt the case, but aliens often make me
paranoid тАФ not because I think theyтАЩre all bad, just that I think that they
have a genuine beef with us Earthlings. What with the war and all the
fucked-up shit that happened. I think if I was a rough-and-tumble Neb,
for instance, and I saw someone like me in a bar all alone...
In fact, that was one of the reasons I was headed to one of the most
isolated planets in the known galaxy тАФ to see just how non-xeno I was. But
if I worried that I was a xenophobe, I soon found out that there are more
virulent cases out there.


***


Halfway through my free beer someone came in. I glanced backwards.
Human.
Thank god.
He was dressed in a grey body-suit with a superfluous-but-still-snazzy
collar. I wish I was the kind of guy that could just throw out тАЬCool collar!тАЭ
to an utter stranger, but the best I managed was a civil nod.
He took a seat at the bar, ordered a gin-and-tonic.
тАЬSo,тАЭ he said, in a strange scratchy voice, тАЬWhat brings you to this
godforsaken hole?тАЭ
Now I had just been thinking about what a creepy place this was, but
тАЬgodforsaken holeтАЭ was a bit bombastic. It wasnтАЩt as if there were acid
tests going on at the tables or kids skinning themselves or anything.
тАЬWell,тАЭ I said, тАЬItтАЩs a little sterile... but it feels like God is here,
somewhere.тАЭ