"Raymond F. Nelson - Then Beggar's Could Ride" - читать интересную книгу автора (Nelson Raymond F)

"I don't like to drink alone. You know that. Now how about it?" She
opened an unmarked bottle and poured two shot glasses of bathtub gin. I
caught a glimpse of myself in the wall-to-wall mirror behind her. I was too
thin, too pale, too sick-looking, almost a walking skeleton.

"No, thanks," I said.

"But you always have a drink when you come home."

"A man can change."

Now she was getting angry. "I like you the way you were."

"The way I was was suicidal. Did you like that?"

"Hey, buster! What are you up to now? Are you trying to put the blame
on me? It was you, not me, that tossed those sleeping pills down your
throat. I was the one that held your head while you vomited them up. I
was the one that called the doctor. Damn you, NewtonтАж" Here she calmed
herself, with visible effort, before continuing, in a coaxing, seductive voice,
"Let's forget about that, honey. We both need a drink."

I turned away from her and went over to the picture window. It was
dark outside, except for the illumination in some of the neighbors'
windows. I saw my own gaunt reflection again, this time double, on the
inside and outside panes of the double window, and for some reason I
thought, This window's not a perfect mim. There weren't any
vacuum-gap insulating windows in the twenties.

Marge came out from behind the bar. I could see her reflection in the
window, but dared not look at her directly. Did I think I'd turn to stone?
Her next remark caught me off guard.

"Why don't you go to the bathroom, Newton?"

"What?"

"Why don't you go to the bathroom? Did you go to the bathroom at
that doctor's office?"

"WellтАж I suppose I did. What difference does thatтАФ"

"I knew it! Don't blame me if you have to eat your supper cold!"

I sighed and shrugged noncommittally. Our gas stove burned methane
produced in the basement septic tank. But I was sure there was no
shortage of sewage.

"Can't a man call his soul his own?" I demanded, somewhat inanely.