"Nicholls, David - Starter for Ten" - читать интересную книгу автора (Nicholls David)

Tone, opening a can of lager.

'What d'you mean?'

'He means you're not going to get all studenty on us,' says
Spencer.

'Well, I am a student. I mean, I will be, so . . .'

'No, but I mean you're not going to get all twatty and
up-your-own-arse and come home at Christmas in a gown,
talking Latin and saying "one does" and "one thinks" and all
that . . .'

'Yeah, Tone, that's exactly what I'm going to do.'

'Well don't. Because you're enough of a twat already without
becoming even more of a twat.'

I get called 'twat' a lot by Tone, either 'twat' or 'gaylord',
but the trick is to make a sort of linguistic adjustment, and
try to think of it as a term of affection, in the same way as
some couples say 'dear' or 'darling'. Tone's just started a
job in the warehouse in Currys, and is starting to develop
a nice little sideline in knocked-off portable hi-fis, like the
one we're listening to now. It's his Led Zeppelin tape too;
Tone likes to call himself 'a Metallist', which sounds more
vocational than 'rocker' or 'heavy-metal fan'. He dresses
like a Metallist too; lots of light blue denim, and long,
flicked-back lustrous blond hair, like an effeminate Viking.
Tone's hair is actually the only effeminate thing about him.
This is, after all, a man steeped in brutal violence. The
mark of a successful evening out with Tone is that you
get home without having had your head flushed down
a toilet.

It's 'Stairway to Heaven' now.
DAVID NICHOLLS


'Do we have to listen to this fucking hippie bollocks, Tone?'
says Spencer.

'This is The Zep, Spence.'

'I know it's The Zep, Tone, that's why I want you to turn
the fucking thing off.'

'But The Zep rule.'