To my great surprise I discovered Jago had returned before Riwal
and I came out of the Waste. His anger with me was such that, had I
been younger, I think he would have cut a switch from the nearest
willow and used it for my discipline. I saw that that anger was
fed, not wholly from my supposedly ill-advised foray into the
dubious territory, but also from something he had learned at
Ulmskeep. Having spoken his mind hotly, he ordered me to listen,
with such serious mien that I lost the defiance his berating had
aroused.
On two occasions in the past I had been to Ulmskeep, both times
when my mother was away visiting her kin. So it, and the lower part
of the dale, was not unknown to me. Also on those times when my
father had come to me, he had taken patience to make me aware of
the spread of our lands, the needs of our people, those things that
it was necessary for me to know when the day came for me to take
his place.
But the news Jago brought I had not heard before. For the first
time I learned of the invaders (though they were not termed so
then, being outwardly visitors on leave from their ships at
Ulmsport).
With what contempt they regarded us we quickly learned, for we
are far from stupid — at least in that way. Dalesmen may insist too
much upon their freedom, having a strong disliking for combining
forces, save in time of immediate and pressing need. But we can
sniff danger like wild things when it treads our land.
They had first come nosing into our ports, up river mouths, a
year or so earlier. Then they had been very wary, circumspect,
playing the roles of traders. Since the stuffs they had to offer in
return for our native wool, metal, and pearls were new and caught
the eye, they found a welcome. But they kept much to themselves,
though they came ashore in twos and threes, never alone. Once
ashore they did not linger in port, but journeyed inland on the
pretext of seeking trade.
As strangers they were suspect, especially in those districts
lying near the Waste, even though it was known that their origin
was overseas. Men met them courteously and with guest right, but as
they looked and listened, asked a question here, another there with
discretion, so did others watch and listen. Soon my father,
gathering reports, could see a pattern in their journeying which
was not that of traders, but rather, to his mind, the action of
scouts within new territory.
He sent privately to our near neighbors: Uppsdale, Fyndale
(which they had visited under the pretext of the great fair held
there), Flathingdale, and even to Vastdale, which also had its port
of Jorby. With all these lords he was on good terms, for we had no
feuds to separate us. And the lords were ready to listen and then
set their own people to watching also.
What grew out of all this was the now-strong belief that my
father had judged the situation rightly, and these overseas
strangers were prowling our country for some purpose of their own,
one meaning no good to the dales. It was soon to be decided whether
or not the lords would make common cause and forbid new landings to
any ship from Alizon.
However, to get the lords to make common cause on any matter was
a task to which only a man with infinite patience might set
himself. No lord would openly admit that he accepted the will of
another. We had no leader who could draw the lords under one banner
or to one mind in action. And this was to be our bane.
Now there were to assemble at Ulmskeep five of the northern
lords to exchange their views upon the idea. They needed some
excuse for such a gathering, however, for it must be a festival of
a kind to keep people talking in such a way that the strangers
might hear a false excuse. My father had found a cause in the first
arming of his heir, bringing me now into the company of my peers as
was only natural at my age.
So far I followed Jago. But at his flat statement that I was to
be the apparent center for this gathering, I was startled. For so
long had I accepted my lot apart from the keep and from the company
of my kin, that this way of life seemed the only proper one to
me.
"But — " I began in protest.
Jago drummed with fingertips upon the table. "No, he is right,
Lord Ulric is. Too long have you been put aside from what is
rightly yours. He needs must do this, not only to give cover to his
speech with the lords, but for your own sake. He has learned the
folly of the course he has followed these past years."
"The folly of — ?" I was astounded that Jago spoke so of my
father, since he was so stoutly a liegeman of Ulric's as to think
of him with the awe one approached an Old One.
"Yes, I say it — folly!" The word exploded a second time from
his lips, as might a bolt from a crossbow. "There are those in his
own household who would change matters." He hesitated, and I knew
without words what he hinted at: that my mother favored my sister
and her betrothed for the succession in Ulmsdale. I had never
closed my ears to any rumor brought to the foresters' settlement,
deeming I must know the worst.
"Look at you!" Jago was angry once more. "You are no monster!
Yet the story spreads that Lord Ulric needs must keep you pent here
in chains, so ill-looking a thing, so mind-damaged, that you are
less than a man, even an animal!"
His heat struck a spark from me. So this was what was whispered
of me in my own keep!
"You must show yourself as you are; be claimed before those
whose borders march with Ulmsdale as the proper heir. Then none may
rise to misname you later. This Lord Ulric now knows — for he has
heard some whispering, even challenged those whisperers to their
faces. And one or two were bold enough to tell him what they had
heard."
I got up from the table which stood between us and went to
Jago's great war-shield where it hung upon the wall. He spent long
hours keeping it well-burnished so that it was like a mirror, even
though the shape distorted my reflection.
"As long as I keep on my boots," I said then, "perhaps I will
pass as humankind."
Those boots were cunningly made, being carefully shaped so my
cloven hoofs appeared normal feet. When I went shod, no man might
be aware of the truth. The boots had been devised by Jago himself
and made from special leather my father sent.
Jago nodded. "Yes, you will go, and you will keep your boots on,
youngling, so you can prove to every whisperer in the dales that
your father sired a true heir, well able to take lord's oath. With
weapons you are as good, perhaps even better, than those who are
keep armsmen. And your wit is keen enough to make you careful."
Which was more praise than he had ever given me in our years
together.
Thus mailed and armed (and most well-booted) I rode with Jago
out of the exile which had been laid upon me and came at last to
take up life in my father's keep. I did so with inner misgivings,
having, as Jago pointed out, some store of wit, and it was not surprising
that I was far from welcome by some members of that household. I
had little chance to speak again with Riwal before I went — though
I longed for him to offer to go with me, knowing at the same time
that he never would. In our last meeting he looked at me in such a
way that I felt he could somehow see into my mind and know all my
uncertainties and fears.
"You have a long road to ride, Kerovan," he said.
"Only two days," I corrected him. "We but go to Ulmskeep."
Riwal shook his head. "You go farther, gryphon bearer, and into
danger. Death stalks at your shoulder. You shall give, and, in
giving, you shall get. The giving and the getting will be stained
with blood and fire — "
I realized then that he was farseeing, and I longed to cover my
ears, for it seemed to me that his very words would draw down upon
me the grim future he saw.
"Death stalks at the heels of every man born," I summoned my
courage to make answer. "If you can farsee, tell me what shield I
can raise to defend myself."
"How can I?" he returned. "All future is fan-shaped, spreading
out in many roads from this moment. If you make one choice, there
is that road to follow; if you make another yet a second path, a
third, a fourth — But no man can outstride or outfight the given
pattern in the end. Yours lies before you. Walk with a forester's
caution, Kerovan. And know this — you have that deep within you, if
you learn to use it, that shall be greater than any shield or sword
wrought by the most cunning of smiths."
"Tell me — " I began.
"No!" he half-turned from me. "So much may I say, but no more. I
cannot farsee your choices, and no word of mine must influence you
in their making. Go with the Peace." Then he raised his hand, and,
between us in the air, he traced a sign. I half-started back, for
his moving finger left a faint glimmering which was gone almost as
quickly as I marked it. And I realized then that in some of his
seeking Riwal must have been successful, for his sign was of the
Power.
"Until we meet again then, comrade." I spoke
friend-farewell.
He did not face me squarely, but stood, his hand still a little
raised to me. I know now that he understood this was our last
meeting and perhaps regretted it. But I was not cursed with that
sight which can hurt far more than it shields. What man wishes to
see into the future in truth when there are so many ills lying
there in wait for us?
As we traveled to Ulmskeep, Jago talked steadily, and that this
was of purpose, I shortly understood. He so made known to me the
members of my father's household, giving each his character as he
himself saw it, with unspoken shadings which allowed me to perceive
that this one might be well-disposed, that one not. I think he saw
me as a child fated to make some error that would bring about
disaster and was doing what he could to give me some manner of
protection against any outspoken folly.
My elder half-brother, who had come to Ulmskeep as a very young
child, had, when he reached the age suitable for instruction in
arms, been sent to our mother's kin. But within the past year he
had returned, riding comrade-in-arms to our kinsman Rogear who was
my sister's betrothed. I could well guess that he was to me an
unfriend and with him I must be wary.
My mother had her followers among others at the keep, and Jago,
with what delicacy he could summon, named those to me, giving short
descriptions of each and of the positions they held. On the other
hand my father's forces were in the greater number, and among those
were the major officers — the Master of Armsmen, the marshal, and
others.
It was a divided household, and such are full of pitfalls. Yet
on the surface all seemed smooth. I listened carefully, asking some
questions. Perhaps these explanations were Jago's idea; perhaps my
father had suggested that I be so cautioned before I came to face
friend and unfriend, that I might tell one from the other.
We rode into the keep at sunset, Jago having blown a signal with
his approach horn so that we found the door guard drawn up to do us
honor. I had marked the residence banners of Uppsdale and
Flathingdale below our gryphon on the tower, and knew that two of
those my father had summoned were already here. Thus, from the
beginning, I would be under the eyes of the curious as well as
those of the covertly hostile.
I must play my role well, seemingly unaware of any crosscurrent;
bear myself modestly as became a candidate for arms, yet be far
from a fool. Was I able to do this? I did not know.
The guards clanged swords together as we dismounted. My father,
wearing a loose robe of ceremony over his jerkin and breeches, came
forth from the deep shadow of the main portal to the hall. I fell
to one knee, holding out my sword by the point that he could lay
fingers lightly on its hilt in acknowledgment.
Then he drew me to my feet in a half-embrace, and, with his hand
still on my arm, brought me out of the open into the main hall
where a feasting board had already been set up, and serving men and
maids were busied spreading it across with strips of fair linen and
setting out the plates and drinking horns.
There were two other men of early middle age, robes of ceremony
about their shoulders. My father made me known to Lord Savron of
Uppsdale and Wintof of Flathingdale. That they regarded me keenly I
was well aware. But I was strengthened in my role by the knowledge
that I made, in my mail and leather over-jerkin, no different
appearance than their own sons might display. At this moment no man
might raise the cry of monster. They accepted my proper deference
as if this were an ordinary meeting and I had been absent from
Ulmskeep for perhaps only an hour or two, not for all my life.
Since I was still considered but a boy and, by custom, of little
importance, I was able speedily to withdraw from the company of my
elders and go to that section of the barracks where the unmarried
men of the household were quartered. In deference to my heirship, I
was given a small room to myself — a very bare room in which there
was a bed, narrow and hard, two stools, and a small table, far less
comfortable than my room in the foresters' holding.
A serving lad brought in my saddle bags. I noted that he watched
me with open curiosity when he thought I did not mark him,
lingering to suggest that he bring me hot water for washing. When I
agreed, I thought that he was determined to make the most of his
chance to view the "monster" at close quarters and perhaps report
his discoveries to his fellows.
I had laid aside my jerkin and mail by the time he returned,
standing in my padded undercoat, sorting through my clothing for my
best tabard with its gryphon symbol. He sidled in with a ewer from
which steam arose, watching me as he placed it and a basin on the
table, and twitched off a towel he had borne over one shoulder to
lay beside it.
"If you need service, Lord Kerovan — "
I smoothed out the tabard. Now I deliberately unhooked my
undercoat, letting it slide from my body, which was thus bared to
the waist. Let him see I was not misshapen. As Jago said, if I
clung to my boots, no man could miscall me.
"You may look me out a shirt — " I gestured toward my bags and
then saw he was staring at me. What had he expected? Some horribly
twisted body? I glanced down and saw what had become so much a part
of me I had forgotten I still wore it — Lifting its chain over my
head, I laid it on the table as I washed and saw him eyeing it.
Well enough, let him believe that I wore a talisman. Men did so.
And one in the form of the symbol of my House was proper.
He found the shirt and held it for me as I redonned the gryphon.
And he hooked my tabard, handed me my belt with its knife-of-pride
before he left, doubtless with much to tell his fellows. But when
he had gone, I drew the gryphon from hiding and held it in my
hand.
As usual when I held it so, it had a gentle warmth. With that
warmth came a sensation of peace and comfort, as if this thing,
fashioned long before my first ancestor had ridden into the south
dales, had waited all these centuries just to lie in my hand.
So far all had gone as it should. But before me still lay that
ordeal from which my thoughts had shied since first I had known
that I must come to Ulmsdale, the meeting with my mother. What
could I say to her, or she to me? There lay between us that which
no one could hope to bridge — not after all these years.
I stood there, cupping close the crystal ball and thinking of
what I might do or say at a moment which could be put off no
longer. Suddenly it was as if someone spoke aloud — yet it was only
in my mind. I might have looked through a newly unshuttered window
so that a landscape hitherto-hidden lay before me.
The scene was shadowed, and I knew it was not mine to ever walk
that way, just as there could be no true meeting between us which
would leave us more than strangers. Yet I felt no sense of loss,
only as if a burden had been lifted from me, to leave me free. We
had no ties; therefore I owed her no more than she willed me to. I
would meet her as I would any lady of rank, paying her the
deference of courtesy, asking nothing in return. In my hand the
globe was warm and glowing. But a sound at the door made me slip
that into hiding before I turned to face who stood there.
I am only slightly over middle height, being slender-boned and
spare-fleshed. This youth was tall enough that I must raise my eyes
to meet his. He was thick of neck and shoulder, wide of jaw. His
hair was a mat of sandy curls so tight he must battle to lay it
smooth with any comb. He had a half-grin on his thick lips. I had
seen such an expression before among the armsmen when a barracks
bully set about heckling some simpleton to impress his standing
upon his fellows.
His tabard of state was wrought with fine needlework and
stretched tightly over the barrel of his chest. And now he was
running his fingers up and down its stiff fronting as if striving
to draw attention to it.
Big as he was, he did not altogether fill the doorway, for there
was a smaller and slighter figure beside him. I was for an instant
startled. The oval of that face was like enough to mine to stamp us
kinsmen, just as his darker hair was also mine. His expression was
bland, nearly characterless, but I guessed that behind it lurked a
sharp wit. Of the two I would deem him the more dangerous.
From the first I knew these for the enemy. Jago's descriptions
fitted well. The giant was closer-kin to me than the other, for he
was my half-brother Hlymer, while his companion was my sister's
betrothed, my cousin Rogear.
"Greetings, kinsmen." I spoke first.
Hlymer did not lose his grin; it grew a little wider. "He is not
furred or clawed, at least not as can be seen. I wonder in what
manner his monster marking lies, Rogear." He spoke as if I were a
thing and not able to hear or sense his meaning. But if he meant to
arouse some sign of anger he could play upon, he was a fool. I had
taken his measure early.
Whether he would have carried on along that theme if left alone
I was not to know, because Rogear then answered, not Hlymer's
comment, but my greeting, and courteously in kind, as if he never
meant to do otherwise.
"And to you greeting, kinsman."
Hlymer had a high voice that some big men own and a slight
hesitancy of speech. But Rogear's tone was warm and winning. Had I
not known him to be what he was, I might have been deceived into
believing that he had indeed sought me out to make me welcome.
They played my escort to the great hall. I did not know whether
to count it as a relief or not when I saw that there were no chairs
placed for ladies, that this meal at least was clearly intended
only for the men. Undoubtedly my mother had chosen to keep to her
own apartments. Since all knew the situation, none would comment on
it.
I saw my father glance sharply at me now and then from his High
Seat. My own place was down-table, between Hlymer and Rogear
(though whether they had purposefully devised that or not, I did
not know). If my father was not satisfied, there was little he
could do without attracting unwelcome attention.
My companions' tricks began early. Hlymer urged me to empty my
wine horn, implying that any moderation on my part marked me in
that company. Rogear's smooth flow of talk was clearly designed to
point up the fact that I was raw from some farmyard, without
manners or wit. That neither accomplished their purposes must have
galled. Hlymer grew sullen, scowling, muttering under his breath
words I did not choose to hear. But Rogear showed no ill nature at
the spoiling of whatever purpose he had in mind when we sat
down.
In the end Hlymer was caught in his own trap — if he considered
it a trap — and grew muddle-headed with drink, loud in his
comments, until some of those around turned on him. They were young
kinsmen of the visiting lords and, I think, frank in their desire
for no trouble.
So began my life under my father's roof. Luckily I did not have
to spend much time within the range of Hlymer and Rogear. My father
used the fact of my introduction and confirmation as his heir to
keep me much with him, making me known to his neighbors, having me
tutored in those details of the ceremony that occurred on the third
day of the gathering.
I swore kin-oath before a formidable assemblage of dale lords,
accepted my father's gift-sword, and so passed in an hour from the
status of untried and unconsidered youth to that of man and my
father's second in command. As such I was then admitted to the
council concerning the men from Alizon.
Though all were agreed that there seemed to be some menace
behind the coming of these men from overseas, there was sharp
division as to how the situation was to be handled. In the end the
conference broke, as such so often did in the dales, with no plan
of action drawing us together after all.
Because of my new status in the household, I rode part way down
the dale with the lord of Uppsdale to give him road-speed. On my
way back my career as Heir of Ulmsdale was nearly finished before
it had rightfully begun.
In courtesy to our guest, my sword was in peace-strings, and I
had gone unmailed. But in the moment of danger I was warned. For
there flashed into my mind such a sudden sensation of danger that I
did not wait to loose the cords from my sword. Instead I plucked
free my knife, at the same time throwing myself forward, so that
the harsh hair of my mount's mane rasped my cheek and chin. There
was the sharp crack of a bolt's passing, a burn across my shoulder
— by so little I escaped death.
I knew the tricks the foresters used in savage infighting when
the outlaws came raiding. So I threw my knife, to be answered with
a choked cry from that man who had arisen between the rocks to
sight on me a second time. Now I brought my sword around, charging
a second man who had emerged, steel in hand. One of the
battle-trained mount's hoofs crushed down, and the man was gone,
screaming as he rolled across the ground.
We had made an important capture, we discovered, for though
these two wore the dress of drifting laborers who make their way
from dale to dale at harvest time, they were indeed the very
invaders we had been discussing at such weary length. One was dead;
the other badly injured. My father called the Wisewoman of the dale
and had her attend him, and, light-headed with fever, he
talked.
The purpose of their attack on me we did not learn. But there
was much else of useful knowledge, and the threat lying over us
grew darker. My father had me in with Jago and his trusted
officers. Now he spoke his mind.
"I do not pretend to farseeing, but any man with wit in his head
can understand that there is purpose and planning behind this. If
we do not look ahead, we may — " He hesitated. "I do not know. New
dangers mean new ways of dealing with them. We have always clung to
the ways of our fathers — but will those serve us now? It may be
that the day will soon come when we need friends to hold shields
with us. I would draw to us now all assurances of those as we
can.
"Therefore" — he smoothed out on the table around which we sat
the map of the dalesside — "here is Uppsdale and the rest. To them
we have already made clear what may come. Now let us warn the south
— there we may first call upon Ithkrypt."
Ithkrypt and the lady Joisan. For long periods of time I had put
her out of mind. Had the day now arrived when my father would order
ours to be a marriage in fact? We had both reached an age when such
were common.
I thought of my mother and the sister who had kept themselves
stubbornly immured in their own apartments since I had come to
Ulmskeep. Suddenly I knew that I would not have my Lady Joisan join
them there as she would do if she came now. How could she help but
be swayed by their attitude toward me? No, she must come willingly
to me — or not at all!
But how could I make sure that she did so?
As that sudden warning of danger had saved my life, so again
came an answer as clear and sharp as if spoken aloud.
Thus after my father had cautioned Jago as to what to say to
Lord Cyart when he delivered the name-day gift to my lady, I spoke
privately with my old tutor. I could not say why I had to do this;
I did not want to; yet it was laid upon me as heavily as a geas is
put upon some hero who cannot thereafter turn aside from it. I gave
him, that he might put it in Lady Joisan's own hand. Perhaps it was
my true bride-price. I would not know until that moment when we did
indeed at long last stand face to face.
To my great surprise I discovered Jago had returned before Riwal
and I came out of the Waste. His anger with me was such that, had I
been younger, I think he would have cut a switch from the nearest
willow and used it for my discipline. I saw that that anger was
fed, not wholly from my supposedly ill-advised foray into the
dubious territory, but also from something he had learned at
Ulmskeep. Having spoken his mind hotly, he ordered me to listen,
with such serious mien that I lost the defiance his berating had
aroused.
On two occasions in the past I had been to Ulmskeep, both times
when my mother was away visiting her kin. So it, and the lower part
of the dale, was not unknown to me. Also on those times when my
father had come to me, he had taken patience to make me aware of
the spread of our lands, the needs of our people, those things that
it was necessary for me to know when the day came for me to take
his place.
But the news Jago brought I had not heard before. For the first
time I learned of the invaders (though they were not termed so
then, being outwardly visitors on leave from their ships at
Ulmsport).
With what contempt they regarded us we quickly learned, for we
are far from stupid — at least in that way. Dalesmen may insist too
much upon their freedom, having a strong disliking for combining
forces, save in time of immediate and pressing need. But we can
sniff danger like wild things when it treads our land.
They had first come nosing into our ports, up river mouths, a
year or so earlier. Then they had been very wary, circumspect,
playing the roles of traders. Since the stuffs they had to offer in
return for our native wool, metal, and pearls were new and caught
the eye, they found a welcome. But they kept much to themselves,
though they came ashore in twos and threes, never alone. Once
ashore they did not linger in port, but journeyed inland on the
pretext of seeking trade.
As strangers they were suspect, especially in those districts
lying near the Waste, even though it was known that their origin
was overseas. Men met them courteously and with guest right, but as
they looked and listened, asked a question here, another there with
discretion, so did others watch and listen. Soon my father,
gathering reports, could see a pattern in their journeying which
was not that of traders, but rather, to his mind, the action of
scouts within new territory.
He sent privately to our near neighbors: Uppsdale, Fyndale
(which they had visited under the pretext of the great fair held
there), Flathingdale, and even to Vastdale, which also had its port
of Jorby. With all these lords he was on good terms, for we had no
feuds to separate us. And the lords were ready to listen and then
set their own people to watching also.
What grew out of all this was the now-strong belief that my
father had judged the situation rightly, and these overseas
strangers were prowling our country for some purpose of their own,
one meaning no good to the dales. It was soon to be decided whether
or not the lords would make common cause and forbid new landings to
any ship from Alizon.
However, to get the lords to make common cause on any matter was
a task to which only a man with infinite patience might set
himself. No lord would openly admit that he accepted the will of
another. We had no leader who could draw the lords under one banner
or to one mind in action. And this was to be our bane.
Now there were to assemble at Ulmskeep five of the northern
lords to exchange their views upon the idea. They needed some
excuse for such a gathering, however, for it must be a festival of
a kind to keep people talking in such a way that the strangers
might hear a false excuse. My father had found a cause in the first
arming of his heir, bringing me now into the company of my peers as
was only natural at my age.
So far I followed Jago. But at his flat statement that I was to
be the apparent center for this gathering, I was startled. For so
long had I accepted my lot apart from the keep and from the company
of my kin, that this way of life seemed the only proper one to
me.
"But — " I began in protest.
Jago drummed with fingertips upon the table. "No, he is right,
Lord Ulric is. Too long have you been put aside from what is
rightly yours. He needs must do this, not only to give cover to his
speech with the lords, but for your own sake. He has learned the
folly of the course he has followed these past years."
"The folly of — ?" I was astounded that Jago spoke so of my
father, since he was so stoutly a liegeman of Ulric's as to think
of him with the awe one approached an Old One.
"Yes, I say it — folly!" The word exploded a second time from
his lips, as might a bolt from a crossbow. "There are those in his
own household who would change matters." He hesitated, and I knew
without words what he hinted at: that my mother favored my sister
and her betrothed for the succession in Ulmsdale. I had never
closed my ears to any rumor brought to the foresters' settlement,
deeming I must know the worst.
"Look at you!" Jago was angry once more. "You are no monster!
Yet the story spreads that Lord Ulric needs must keep you pent here
in chains, so ill-looking a thing, so mind-damaged, that you are
less than a man, even an animal!"
His heat struck a spark from me. So this was what was whispered
of me in my own keep!
"You must show yourself as you are; be claimed before those
whose borders march with Ulmsdale as the proper heir. Then none may
rise to misname you later. This Lord Ulric now knows — for he has
heard some whispering, even challenged those whisperers to their
faces. And one or two were bold enough to tell him what they had
heard."
I got up from the table which stood between us and went to
Jago's great war-shield where it hung upon the wall. He spent long
hours keeping it well-burnished so that it was like a mirror, even
though the shape distorted my reflection.
"As long as I keep on my boots," I said then, "perhaps I will
pass as humankind."
Those boots were cunningly made, being carefully shaped so my
cloven hoofs appeared normal feet. When I went shod, no man might
be aware of the truth. The boots had been devised by Jago himself
and made from special leather my father sent.
Jago nodded. "Yes, you will go, and you will keep your boots on,
youngling, so you can prove to every whisperer in the dales that
your father sired a true heir, well able to take lord's oath. With
weapons you are as good, perhaps even better, than those who are
keep armsmen. And your wit is keen enough to make you careful."
Which was more praise than he had ever given me in our years
together.
Thus mailed and armed (and most well-booted) I rode with Jago
out of the exile which had been laid upon me and came at last to
take up life in my father's keep. I did so with inner misgivings,
having, as Jago pointed out, some store of wit, and it was not surprising
that I was far from welcome by some members of that household. I
had little chance to speak again with Riwal before I went — though
I longed for him to offer to go with me, knowing at the same time
that he never would. In our last meeting he looked at me in such a
way that I felt he could somehow see into my mind and know all my
uncertainties and fears.
"You have a long road to ride, Kerovan," he said.
"Only two days," I corrected him. "We but go to Ulmskeep."
Riwal shook his head. "You go farther, gryphon bearer, and into
danger. Death stalks at your shoulder. You shall give, and, in
giving, you shall get. The giving and the getting will be stained
with blood and fire — "
I realized then that he was farseeing, and I longed to cover my
ears, for it seemed to me that his very words would draw down upon
me the grim future he saw.
"Death stalks at the heels of every man born," I summoned my
courage to make answer. "If you can farsee, tell me what shield I
can raise to defend myself."
"How can I?" he returned. "All future is fan-shaped, spreading
out in many roads from this moment. If you make one choice, there
is that road to follow; if you make another yet a second path, a
third, a fourth — But no man can outstride or outfight the given
pattern in the end. Yours lies before you. Walk with a forester's
caution, Kerovan. And know this — you have that deep within you, if
you learn to use it, that shall be greater than any shield or sword
wrought by the most cunning of smiths."
"Tell me — " I began.
"No!" he half-turned from me. "So much may I say, but no more. I
cannot farsee your choices, and no word of mine must influence you
in their making. Go with the Peace." Then he raised his hand, and,
between us in the air, he traced a sign. I half-started back, for
his moving finger left a faint glimmering which was gone almost as
quickly as I marked it. And I realized then that in some of his
seeking Riwal must have been successful, for his sign was of the
Power.
"Until we meet again then, comrade." I spoke
friend-farewell.
He did not face me squarely, but stood, his hand still a little
raised to me. I know now that he understood this was our last
meeting and perhaps regretted it. But I was not cursed with that
sight which can hurt far more than it shields. What man wishes to
see into the future in truth when there are so many ills lying
there in wait for us?
As we traveled to Ulmskeep, Jago talked steadily, and that this
was of purpose, I shortly understood. He so made known to me the
members of my father's household, giving each his character as he
himself saw it, with unspoken shadings which allowed me to perceive
that this one might be well-disposed, that one not. I think he saw
me as a child fated to make some error that would bring about
disaster and was doing what he could to give me some manner of
protection against any outspoken folly.
My elder half-brother, who had come to Ulmskeep as a very young
child, had, when he reached the age suitable for instruction in
arms, been sent to our mother's kin. But within the past year he
had returned, riding comrade-in-arms to our kinsman Rogear who was
my sister's betrothed. I could well guess that he was to me an
unfriend and with him I must be wary.
My mother had her followers among others at the keep, and Jago,
with what delicacy he could summon, named those to me, giving short
descriptions of each and of the positions they held. On the other
hand my father's forces were in the greater number, and among those
were the major officers — the Master of Armsmen, the marshal, and
others.
It was a divided household, and such are full of pitfalls. Yet
on the surface all seemed smooth. I listened carefully, asking some
questions. Perhaps these explanations were Jago's idea; perhaps my
father had suggested that I be so cautioned before I came to face
friend and unfriend, that I might tell one from the other.
We rode into the keep at sunset, Jago having blown a signal with
his approach horn so that we found the door guard drawn up to do us
honor. I had marked the residence banners of Uppsdale and
Flathingdale below our gryphon on the tower, and knew that two of
those my father had summoned were already here. Thus, from the
beginning, I would be under the eyes of the curious as well as
those of the covertly hostile.
I must play my role well, seemingly unaware of any crosscurrent;
bear myself modestly as became a candidate for arms, yet be far
from a fool. Was I able to do this? I did not know.
The guards clanged swords together as we dismounted. My father,
wearing a loose robe of ceremony over his jerkin and breeches, came
forth from the deep shadow of the main portal to the hall. I fell
to one knee, holding out my sword by the point that he could lay
fingers lightly on its hilt in acknowledgment.
Then he drew me to my feet in a half-embrace, and, with his hand
still on my arm, brought me out of the open into the main hall
where a feasting board had already been set up, and serving men and
maids were busied spreading it across with strips of fair linen and
setting out the plates and drinking horns.
There were two other men of early middle age, robes of ceremony
about their shoulders. My father made me known to Lord Savron of
Uppsdale and Wintof of Flathingdale. That they regarded me keenly I
was well aware. But I was strengthened in my role by the knowledge
that I made, in my mail and leather over-jerkin, no different
appearance than their own sons might display. At this moment no man
might raise the cry of monster. They accepted my proper deference
as if this were an ordinary meeting and I had been absent from
Ulmskeep for perhaps only an hour or two, not for all my life.
Since I was still considered but a boy and, by custom, of little
importance, I was able speedily to withdraw from the company of my
elders and go to that section of the barracks where the unmarried
men of the household were quartered. In deference to my heirship, I
was given a small room to myself — a very bare room in which there
was a bed, narrow and hard, two stools, and a small table, far less
comfortable than my room in the foresters' holding.
A serving lad brought in my saddle bags. I noted that he watched
me with open curiosity when he thought I did not mark him,
lingering to suggest that he bring me hot water for washing. When I
agreed, I thought that he was determined to make the most of his
chance to view the "monster" at close quarters and perhaps report
his discoveries to his fellows.
I had laid aside my jerkin and mail by the time he returned,
standing in my padded undercoat, sorting through my clothing for my
best tabard with its gryphon symbol. He sidled in with a ewer from
which steam arose, watching me as he placed it and a basin on the
table, and twitched off a towel he had borne over one shoulder to
lay beside it.
"If you need service, Lord Kerovan — "
I smoothed out the tabard. Now I deliberately unhooked my
undercoat, letting it slide from my body, which was thus bared to
the waist. Let him see I was not misshapen. As Jago said, if I
clung to my boots, no man could miscall me.
"You may look me out a shirt — " I gestured toward my bags and
then saw he was staring at me. What had he expected? Some horribly
twisted body? I glanced down and saw what had become so much a part
of me I had forgotten I still wore it — Lifting its chain over my
head, I laid it on the table as I washed and saw him eyeing it.
Well enough, let him believe that I wore a talisman. Men did so.
And one in the form of the symbol of my House was proper.
He found the shirt and held it for me as I redonned the gryphon.
And he hooked my tabard, handed me my belt with its knife-of-pride
before he left, doubtless with much to tell his fellows. But when
he had gone, I drew the gryphon from hiding and held it in my
hand.
As usual when I held it so, it had a gentle warmth. With that
warmth came a sensation of peace and comfort, as if this thing,
fashioned long before my first ancestor had ridden into the south
dales, had waited all these centuries just to lie in my hand.
So far all had gone as it should. But before me still lay that
ordeal from which my thoughts had shied since first I had known
that I must come to Ulmsdale, the meeting with my mother. What
could I say to her, or she to me? There lay between us that which
no one could hope to bridge — not after all these years.
I stood there, cupping close the crystal ball and thinking of
what I might do or say at a moment which could be put off no
longer. Suddenly it was as if someone spoke aloud — yet it was only
in my mind. I might have looked through a newly unshuttered window
so that a landscape hitherto-hidden lay before me.
The scene was shadowed, and I knew it was not mine to ever walk
that way, just as there could be no true meeting between us which
would leave us more than strangers. Yet I felt no sense of loss,
only as if a burden had been lifted from me, to leave me free. We
had no ties; therefore I owed her no more than she willed me to. I
would meet her as I would any lady of rank, paying her the
deference of courtesy, asking nothing in return. In my hand the
globe was warm and glowing. But a sound at the door made me slip
that into hiding before I turned to face who stood there.
I am only slightly over middle height, being slender-boned and
spare-fleshed. This youth was tall enough that I must raise my eyes
to meet his. He was thick of neck and shoulder, wide of jaw. His
hair was a mat of sandy curls so tight he must battle to lay it
smooth with any comb. He had a half-grin on his thick lips. I had
seen such an expression before among the armsmen when a barracks
bully set about heckling some simpleton to impress his standing
upon his fellows.
His tabard of state was wrought with fine needlework and
stretched tightly over the barrel of his chest. And now he was
running his fingers up and down its stiff fronting as if striving
to draw attention to it.
Big as he was, he did not altogether fill the doorway, for there
was a smaller and slighter figure beside him. I was for an instant
startled. The oval of that face was like enough to mine to stamp us
kinsmen, just as his darker hair was also mine. His expression was
bland, nearly characterless, but I guessed that behind it lurked a
sharp wit. Of the two I would deem him the more dangerous.
From the first I knew these for the enemy. Jago's descriptions
fitted well. The giant was closer-kin to me than the other, for he
was my half-brother Hlymer, while his companion was my sister's
betrothed, my cousin Rogear.
"Greetings, kinsmen." I spoke first.
Hlymer did not lose his grin; it grew a little wider. "He is not
furred or clawed, at least not as can be seen. I wonder in what
manner his monster marking lies, Rogear." He spoke as if I were a
thing and not able to hear or sense his meaning. But if he meant to
arouse some sign of anger he could play upon, he was a fool. I had
taken his measure early.
Whether he would have carried on along that theme if left alone
I was not to know, because Rogear then answered, not Hlymer's
comment, but my greeting, and courteously in kind, as if he never
meant to do otherwise.
"And to you greeting, kinsman."
Hlymer had a high voice that some big men own and a slight
hesitancy of speech. But Rogear's tone was warm and winning. Had I
not known him to be what he was, I might have been deceived into
believing that he had indeed sought me out to make me welcome.
They played my escort to the great hall. I did not know whether
to count it as a relief or not when I saw that there were no chairs
placed for ladies, that this meal at least was clearly intended
only for the men. Undoubtedly my mother had chosen to keep to her
own apartments. Since all knew the situation, none would comment on
it.
I saw my father glance sharply at me now and then from his High
Seat. My own place was down-table, between Hlymer and Rogear
(though whether they had purposefully devised that or not, I did
not know). If my father was not satisfied, there was little he
could do without attracting unwelcome attention.
My companions' tricks began early. Hlymer urged me to empty my
wine horn, implying that any moderation on my part marked me in
that company. Rogear's smooth flow of talk was clearly designed to
point up the fact that I was raw from some farmyard, without
manners or wit. That neither accomplished their purposes must have
galled. Hlymer grew sullen, scowling, muttering under his breath
words I did not choose to hear. But Rogear showed no ill nature at
the spoiling of whatever purpose he had in mind when we sat
down.
In the end Hlymer was caught in his own trap — if he considered
it a trap — and grew muddle-headed with drink, loud in his
comments, until some of those around turned on him. They were young
kinsmen of the visiting lords and, I think, frank in their desire
for no trouble.
So began my life under my father's roof. Luckily I did not have
to spend much time within the range of Hlymer and Rogear. My father
used the fact of my introduction and confirmation as his heir to
keep me much with him, making me known to his neighbors, having me
tutored in those details of the ceremony that occurred on the third
day of the gathering.
I swore kin-oath before a formidable assemblage of dale lords,
accepted my father's gift-sword, and so passed in an hour from the
status of untried and unconsidered youth to that of man and my
father's second in command. As such I was then admitted to the
council concerning the men from Alizon.
Though all were agreed that there seemed to be some menace
behind the coming of these men from overseas, there was sharp
division as to how the situation was to be handled. In the end the
conference broke, as such so often did in the dales, with no plan
of action drawing us together after all.
Because of my new status in the household, I rode part way down
the dale with the lord of Uppsdale to give him road-speed. On my
way back my career as Heir of Ulmsdale was nearly finished before
it had rightfully begun.
In courtesy to our guest, my sword was in peace-strings, and I
had gone unmailed. But in the moment of danger I was warned. For
there flashed into my mind such a sudden sensation of danger that I
did not wait to loose the cords from my sword. Instead I plucked
free my knife, at the same time throwing myself forward, so that
the harsh hair of my mount's mane rasped my cheek and chin. There
was the sharp crack of a bolt's passing, a burn across my shoulder
— by so little I escaped death.
I knew the tricks the foresters used in savage infighting when
the outlaws came raiding. So I threw my knife, to be answered with
a choked cry from that man who had arisen between the rocks to
sight on me a second time. Now I brought my sword around, charging
a second man who had emerged, steel in hand. One of the
battle-trained mount's hoofs crushed down, and the man was gone,
screaming as he rolled across the ground.
We had made an important capture, we discovered, for though
these two wore the dress of drifting laborers who make their way
from dale to dale at harvest time, they were indeed the very
invaders we had been discussing at such weary length. One was dead;
the other badly injured. My father called the Wisewoman of the dale
and had her attend him, and, light-headed with fever, he
talked.
The purpose of their attack on me we did not learn. But there
was much else of useful knowledge, and the threat lying over us
grew darker. My father had me in with Jago and his trusted
officers. Now he spoke his mind.
"I do not pretend to farseeing, but any man with wit in his head
can understand that there is purpose and planning behind this. If
we do not look ahead, we may — " He hesitated. "I do not know. New
dangers mean new ways of dealing with them. We have always clung to
the ways of our fathers — but will those serve us now? It may be
that the day will soon come when we need friends to hold shields
with us. I would draw to us now all assurances of those as we
can.
"Therefore" — he smoothed out on the table around which we sat
the map of the dalesside — "here is Uppsdale and the rest. To them
we have already made clear what may come. Now let us warn the south
— there we may first call upon Ithkrypt."
Ithkrypt and the lady Joisan. For long periods of time I had put
her out of mind. Had the day now arrived when my father would order
ours to be a marriage in fact? We had both reached an age when such
were common.
I thought of my mother and the sister who had kept themselves
stubbornly immured in their own apartments since I had come to
Ulmskeep. Suddenly I knew that I would not have my Lady Joisan join
them there as she would do if she came now. How could she help but
be swayed by their attitude toward me? No, she must come willingly
to me — or not at all!
But how could I make sure that she did so?
As that sudden warning of danger had saved my life, so again
came an answer as clear and sharp as if spoken aloud.
Thus after my father had cautioned Jago as to what to say to
Lord Cyart when he delivered the name-day gift to my lady, I spoke
privately with my old tutor. I could not say why I had to do this;
I did not want to; yet it was laid upon me as heavily as a geas is
put upon some hero who cannot thereafter turn aside from it. I gave
him, that he might put it in Lady Joisan's own hand. Perhaps it was
my true bride-price. I would not know until that moment when we did
indeed at long last stand face to face.