"Norton, Andre - Gryphon Saga 1 - Crystal Gryphon" - читать интересную книгу автора (Norton Andre)

That party of kinsmen had been only the first of the refugees to find their way hither. If my uncle had farseen that we might have to open our doors and supplies to such, he had not mentioned it. I wondered, marking each morn as I measured out the food for the day (which had become one of my more serious duties since Dame Math had the overseeing of the sick and wounded) whether we could eat even sparingly until harvest, if this continued.

For the most part the newcomers were lands-people, women and children, with a sprinkling of old or wounded men, few of them able to help us man any defense that might be needed. I had spoken with Dame Math and the marshal only the evening before, the three of us deciding that as soon as the weather lightened sufficiently, they would be sent on to the west, where there were dales untouched by war, even to the House of Dames at Norstead. We dared not keep the burden of useless hands here.

Now as I came into the chamber where Toross lay, I was trying to occupy my mind with plans for such an exodus, rather than allow myself to think of the shadows in the globe. About that I could do nothing. I must consider what I could do.

He was braced up by pillows, and it seemed to me that he looked better than he had since they brought him here. If this was so, why had they sent for me? Such a question was actually on my lips when the Lady Islaugha arose from a stool by the bed and moved away, he holding out his hand in welcome to me.

She did not glance in my direction, but took up a tray, and with a hasty murmur left the room.

"Joisan, come here where I may truly look upon you!" His voice was stronger also. "There are shadows beneath your eyes; you drive yourself too hard, dear heart!"

I had come to the stool, but I did not sit. Instead I studied his face closely. It was thin and white, with lines set by suffering. But there was reason in his eyes, not the cloudiness of a fevered mind. And that uneasiness I had felt with him filled me.

"We all have duties in plenty here, Toross. I do no more or less than my share."

I spoke shortly, not knowing whether to comment on his using an endearment he had no right to give to me who was a wedded wife.

"Soon it will all be over," he said. "In Norstead the war and its ugliness cannot touch you - "

"Norstead? What mean you, Toross? Those who go to Norstead are the refugees. We cannot keep them here, our supplies will not allow it. But our own people do not go. Perhaps you will ride with them - "

As soon as I said that, I felt again a slight lightening of burden. Life in Ithkrypt would be easier without these kinsfolk ever at my side.

"But you shall go also." He said that as calmly as if there could be no question. "A maid has no place in a keep as good as besieged - "

Dame Math - surely she had not planned so behind my back? No, I knew her better. Then I lost that touch of panic - Toross had not the least authority over me. At my uncle's orders, or at Kerovan's, would I leave, but for no other.

"You forget, I am not a maid. My lord knows I am at Ithkrypt. He will come for me here. So I stay until that hour."

Toross' face flushed. "Joisan, do you not see? Why do you cling loyally to that one? He has not claimed you within the marriage term; that is already two months gone, is that not so? You can now give bride-refusal without any breaking of oaths. If he wanted you, would he not have come before this?"

"Through the ranks of the enemy, no doubt?" I countered. "Lord Kerovan leads bis father's armsmen in the south. This is no time to say that the days of agreement be strictly kept. Nor do I break bond unless my lord himself says he does not want me!" Perhaps that was not quite so, for I had as much pride as any woman. But I wished Toross to understand, not to put into blunt words what could not be unsaid. If he went farther, it would end all friendship between us, and I had liked him.

"You are free if you wish it," he repeated stubbornly. "And if you are truthful, Joisan, you know that this is your wish. Surely that I - what I feel for you and have since first I saw you is plain. And you feel the same, if you will allow yourself to - "

"Untrue, Toross. What I tell you now is as strong as if I took Flame Oath - as I shall if you need that to make you understand. I am Lord Kerovan's wife and so I will remain as long as we live and he does not deny it. As a wife it is honor-breaking and unfitting that I listen to such words as you have just said. I cannot come to you again!"

I turned and ran, though I heard him stir and give a gasp of pain, then cry out my name. I did not look back, but came into the great hall. There was the Lady Islaugha ladling broth from a pot into a bowl, and I went to her swiftly.

"Your son needs you," I told her. "Do not ask me to go to him again."

She looked up at me, and I could see in her face that she knew what had happened and that she hated me furiously because I had turned from him. To her he was her heart's core, to which all must be allowed and given.

"You fool!" she spat at me.

"Not such a fool as I would be if I listened." That much of a retort I allowed myself, and then stood aside as, with the slopping bowl still in her hands, she hurried towards Toross' room.

I remained by the fire, stretching out my chilled hands to it. Was I a fool? What had I of Lord Kerovan to keep with me? A bauble of crystal - after eight years of marriage which was no marriage. Yet for me there had been no choice, and I did not regret what I had just done.