"Jody Lynn Nye - What, And Give Up Show Business" - читать интересную книгу автора (Nye Jody Lynn)Ben Barber couldn't remember a time when he didn't want to be on the stage. He loved the attention and the applause. Ever since he was a little boy, he had dreamed of fame and fortune, of seeing his name above the title on a marquee: "Ben Barber, starring in The Great American Movie." Or below the title. Or even somewhere in the credit crawl at the end of any picture whatsoever. He didn't care. He wanted to be someone that people gawked at in admiration, and went away wishing they were him. The circus had seemed like a good starting place for a career. Ben had taken the spot in the freak show of a ten-man fleabag circus that came through his upstate New York town one summer day. It'd do for him until he got his big break. And then reality landed on him like the guy for whom the boxer shorts had originally been made. There weren't any leading roles for a twenty-something man who weighed three- hundred-something, no matter how good-looking he was. Undaunted, he continued to go to every audition for plays advertised by community groups in the towns where the circus stopped. He wanted a roleтАФany roleтАФso badly he could taste the lines in his mouth. They tasted sweet. The local directors turned him down, with varying excuses. His strong jaw, fine, thick, black hair, and blue eyes with long eyelashes would have been honest-to-God box office under other circumstances, but more, in this case, was not better. Ben didn't stop auditioning, but he began to lose hope. Once in a while, the Ringman Circus rolled into a town where a film was shooting on location. In between setups, the crews came in to see the show. Ben was thrilled beyond words when the first live movie cast and crew visited him. He made a lot of friends in the industry, most of whom were sympathetic to his dream. But though he tried desperately to interest them in hiring him, even as an extra, "If you want the truth," one location manager told him privately over a drink after the sideshow had closed for the night, "no one will ever cast from a carnival. Everything looks too shopworn. People in the film biz like everything brand-newтАФfresh coat of paint, something they've never seen before. Blame Hollywood. They have the idea nothing's good that wasn't thought up just yesterday, if not today, especially if it was their own idea. A circus that's been traveling for fifty yearsтАФthat's too old, too tired. Sure, big guys have made it in the industry, but you're here, in the show, so you're associated with it. It's too bad." After the man left, Ben felt depressed, and polished off most of a half-gallon of ice cream. The circus file:///G|/Program%20Files/eMule/Incoming/Jo...at,%20And%20Give%20Up%20Show%20Business.html (2 of 15) [10/31/2004 11:42:17 PM] What? And Give Up Show Business? was his means of transportation, as well as his home. If he left, he'd have to start all over again. He'd never run into film peopleтАФbut he was invisible as long as he traveled with the show. Ben couldn't solve the dilemma, and it nibbled away at his hopes. As time went by his ambition shrank more and more, until he was almost satisfied working in the sideshow. Almost, but not quite. It wasn't the big time, but it brought in audiences and enough to live on. Still, he wasn't happy. As his depression grew, so did his waistline. It made him a more effective exhibit, but interfered mightily with his love life. His steady girl, Cara Mia Feldstein, was the show's contortionist, but after he put on |
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