"Chad Oliver - Transformer" - читать интересную книгу автора (Oliver Chad)

Transformer

by Chad Oliver
Our town is turned off now, all gray and lazy, so this seems like a good time to
begin.

Let's not kid ourselves about it, ClydeтАФI know what you're thinking. I don't blame
you. You're thinking there's nothing from one wall to the other that's as completely
and thoroughly boring as some motherly old dame gushing about the One Hundred
and One fugitives from Paradise which are to be found in Her Home Town. A real
insomnia killer, that's what you're thinking. A one-bell monologue.

Suppose we get things straight, right from the start.

I may look like one of those sweet little old ladies who spend all their time in the
kitchen slipping apple preserves to bleary-eyed children, but I can't help what I look
like, and neither can you. I never set foot in a kitchen in my life, and of course there
aren't any kids in our townтАФnot physically, anyway. I don't say I'm the most
interesting gal you ever met, Clyde, but I'll tell you for sure you never yakked with
anyone like me before.

Now, you take our town. If you want it straight, it's the damnedest place you ever
heard of. It stinks, but we can't get out. ELM POINT is the name on the station,
that's what we have to call it, but it's as crazy as the rest of the place. There's no
point in ELM POINT, and the only trees I ever saw are made out of sponge rubber.

You might stick around for a minute and listen, you seeтАФthings might get
interesting.

One more thing we might as well clear up while we're at it. I can hear you thinking,
with that sophisticated mind of yours: "Who's she supposed to be telling the story
to? That's the trouble with all these first-person narratives." Well, Clyde, that's a
dumb question, if you ask me. Do you worry about where the music comes from
when Pinza sings in a lifeboat? I feel sorry for you, I really do. I'll tell you the secret:
the music comes from a studio orchestra that's hidden in the worm can just to the
left of the Nazi spy. You follow me? The plain, unvarnished truth is that I get restless
when the town's turned off for a long time. I can't sleep. I'm talking to myself. I'm
bored stiff, and so would you be if you had to live here for your whole life. But I
know you're there, Clyde, or this wouldn't be getting through to you. Don't worry
about it, though.

This is strictly for kicks.

Okay, so let's have some details. I live in a town that's part of the background for a
model railroad. Maybe you think that's funny, but did you ever live in a subway? I
want to be absolutely clear about thisтАФyou're a little dense sometimes, Clyde. I
don't mean that ELM POINT is a town that's located on a big railroad that's
operated in an exemplary, model manner. No. I mean I live on a model railroad, a
half-baked contraption that's set up in a kid's attic. The kid's name is Willy Roberts,
he's thirteen years old, and we don't think he's a god that created our world. In fact,