"Oltion-Uncertainty" - читать интересную книгу автора (Oltion Jerry)"Jason laughs, but not at the punch line.
When he gets home, Ginny is gone. This time it works in Jason's favor; there will be no argument tonight, no attempt to explain the inexplicable. No warm wife to snuggle with either, though. On the whole, Jason doesn't like the trade. He looks in the bedroom closet, but her suitcase is still there. Sometimes it and some of her clothing is gone and he knows she is at her mother's, but tonight she could be anywhere. She could even be right here at home, simply phase-shifted so they cannot interact. He goes to bed and holds her pillow, imagining that it is her. The next day he considers calling her from work to find out what he'll be facing when he goes home, but he has tried that before and it doesn't work. Early knowledge gives him no more satisfaction than none, and finding her home during the day doesn't guarantee anything anyway; she is indeterminate again by the time he arrives. He imagines one of his co-workers overhearing him on the phone, maybe even saying something like, "Checking up on the little woman, eh?" but he knows that will never happen. Such a statement might be misconstrued, and even if the meaning could somehow be made unambiguous, whether or not their wives are home to greet them at night is not something men talk about. Not these men, at least. Yet Jason wonders if they all straggle with the same uncertainty. Some of them without knowing that your child is safe in his room. Always wondering, as Jason wonders on the lonely nights, whether this time your loved ones are lost for good. Or whether you are lost to your family. He and Ginny have decided to wait until they solve their problem before they have kids of their own. It's one of the few things about which they both agree perfectly. But the problem has no solution. Heisenberg proved that. You can never know both the position and the disposition of your spouse to infinite accuracy. That night he takes a pickup from the lot and brings home a Christmas tree. He backs into the driveway so he unload it easily, and as he gets out of the pickup he sees Ginny smiling at him through the kitchen window. A great weight slides away from him, and as he takes the few steps to the door he squares his shoulders, shakes his head so his hair will fall into that slightly mussed state she likes so much, and opens the door. "I'm ho-ome," he calls playfully, and she smiles, comes to him, kisses him with lips warm and soft and tasting of cookie dough: She is baking snickerdoodles, Jason's favorite. "Tell me how they are," she says, handing him one still hot out of the oven. He blows on it to cool it, takes a bite, feels it melt into a burst of sweetness and spice in his mouth. "Mmmm," he says, then kissing her again with crumbs |
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