"Lewis Padgett - A Gnome There Was (2)" - читать интересную книгу автора (Padgett Lewis)

I didn't dare look at them, of course, but the man asked the woman for a
kiss."
"Oh," Crockett said, rather blankly. "He asked for a kiss, eh?"
"And then there was a smacking noise and the woman said it was wonderful. I've
wondered ever since. Because if any gnome asked me for a kiss, I wouldn't know
what he meant."
"Gnomes don't kiss?" Crockett asked in a perfunctory way.
"Gnomes dig," said Brockle Buhn. "And we eat. I like to eat. Is a kiss like
mud soup?"
"Well, not exactly." Somehow Crockett managed to explain the mechanics of
osculation.
The gnome remained silent, pondering deeply. At last she said, with the air of
one bestowing mud soup upon a hungry applicant, "I'll give you a kiss."
Crockett had a nightmare picture of his whole head being engulfed in that
enormous maw. He backed away. "N-no," he got out. "IтАФI'd rather not."
"Then let's fight," said Brockle Buhn, without rancor, and swung a knotted
fist which smacked painfully athwart Crockett's ear. "Oh, no," she said
regretfully, turning away. "The fight's over. It wasn't very long, was it?"


Crockett, rubbing his mangled ear, saw that in every direction gnomes were
picking themselves up and hurrying off about their business. They seemed to
have forgotten all about the recent conflict. The tunnel was once more silent,
save for the pad-padding of gnomes' feet on the rock. Gru Magru came over,
grinning happily.
"Hello, Brockle Buhn," he greeted. "A good fight. Who's this?" He looked down
at the prostrate body of Mugza, the red-haired gnome.
"Mugza," said Brockle Buhn. "He's still out. Let's kick him."
They proceeded to do it with vast enthusiasm, while Crockett watched and
decided never to allow himself to be knocked unconscious. It definitely wasn't
safe. At last, however, Gru Magru tired of the sport and took Crockett
by the arm again. "Come along," he said, and they sauntered along the tunnel,
leaving Brockle Buhn jumping up and down on the senseless Mugza's stomach.
"You don't seem to mind hitting people when they're knocked out," Crockett
hazarded.
"It's much more fun," Gru said happily. "That way you can tell just where you
want to hit 'em. Come along. You'll have to be inducted. Another day, another
gnome. Keeps the population stable," he explained, and fell to humming a
little song.
"Look," Crockett said. "I just thought of something. You say human beings are
turned into gnomes to keep the population stable. But if gnomes don't die,
doesn't that mean that there are more gnomes now than ever? The population
keeps rising, doesn't it?"
"Be still," Gru Magru commanded. "I'm singing."
It was a singularly tuneless song. Crockett, his thoughts veering madly,
wondered if the gnomes had a national anthem. Probably "Rock Me to Sleep." Oh,
well.
"We're going to see the Emperor," Gru said at last. "He always sees the new
gnomes. You'd better make a good impression, or he'll put you to placer-mining
lava."