"Nick Pollotta - That Darn Squid God" - читать интересную книгу автора (Pollotta Nick)

"And exactly who are you, sir?" the lord asked.
"Haven't you two fellows ever met before?" Dr. Thompkins gasped in wonderment, rising from a
chair.
 "No," they replied in unison.
"But this calamity must be corrected with all due haste!" Colonel Pierpont declared, adjusting his
pince-nez glasses and assuming an authoritarian pose. "Carstairs, might I introduce Professor Felix
Einstein of the International British Museum, a private concern. Einstein, may I introduce Lord Benjamin
Carstairs of Heather Downs, Preston."
With both hands clasped behind his back, Lord Carstairs nodded in greeting. "A pleasure, sir. I have
read your books on archeology with the greatest of interest. Particularly your monograph on the
feasibility that Stonehenge is a form of solar calendar."
Impatiently, Einstein accepted the compliment with what grace he could muster under the
circumstances. "A minor work. And I have more than a passing acquaintance with your own journals, sir.
Your theories on the possible Aztec origin of the Easter Island statues are most impressive."
"Thank you."
"And if it will speed things along, as a senior member of the club, I officially acknowledge and
congratulate you on your find," Einstein continued. "For this is not a model as you suppose, but the actual
ark itself."
The roomful of explorers went stock-still at that as if a live woman had entered the club.
"A-are you crazed, Felix?" Sir Lovejoy erupted in shock, going even more pale than usual. "The
craft is barely a foot long! How in the name of Queen Victoria could that _toy_ carry seven and two of
every animal on the face of the earth?"
"Explain yourself, sir!" Dr. Thompkins demanded.
Quite exasperated, Prof. Einstein closed his eyes so that nobody would see him roll them about. Ye
gods, plainly no other topic of conversation would be considered until this trifling matter was resolved. So
be it.
"Jeeves!" the professor shouted over a shoulder.
Instantly, the liveried butler appeared in the doorway as if he had been waiting for the explosive
summons. "Yes, sir?" he drawled in proper English servitude.
"Fresh gasogenes, please," Einstein commanded, thoughtfully rubbing his lucky shark's tooth. "Every
bloody one we have."
This gave Jeeves pause. There was a barely used soda water dispenser on the liquor cart right
beside the man. Why would he wish additional reservoirs? And every one? For a club like the Explorers,
that meant several dozen, at the very least. Then the butler went cold. _Oh no_, he prayed fervently, _not
another re-enactment of the Amazon rain forest. Anything but that._
"Wasn't aware that you've recently been to the Amazon, Felix," Lord Danvers said, refilling his glass
as the somber butler shuffled away.
Ignoring that comment, Prof. Einstein stolidly waited until Jeeves returned moments later. Experience
being a bitter teacher, the butler was wearing a Macintosh overcoat and rubber boots as he pushed along
a trolley loaded with several small wooden crates full of gasogenes soda water dispensers. Plus, an
umbrella and a bucket.
"Thank you, Jeeves," Professor Einstein said politely, taking a gasogene from the trolley. The
umbrella and bucket were a wise precaution, but unnecessary in this particular instance. "Now please
give one of these to everybody in the room."
As the butler distributed the dispensers, Einstein moved the display table to the center of the hall.
Now armed with gasogenes, everybody waited to see what would happen next. Felix Einstein had a
well-deserved reputation of pulling rabbits out of his hat. That bizarre museum of his was a prime
example.
Exercising extraordinary care, Prof. Einstein aligned the tiny ship so that its keel was directed length
wise down the room. The wood felt dry as dust to his touch and his fingers stuck slightly to the craft,