"Nick Pollotta - That Darn Squid God" - читать интересную книгу автора (Pollotta Nick)

damn big. This was definitely not good!_
Like a wooden express train, the traveling prow violently rammed into the fireplace, smashing the
hearth, and tilting the oil painting of Her Royal Majesty. As it fell, the stern of the ship slammed into the
far wall, shattering the plaster and causing the bust of Marco Polo to rip free from its pedestal on the
second floor balcony. As the massive bronze statue plummeted straight towards a horrified Jeeves, Lord
Carstairs surged forward to shove the man aside. The heavy bust crashed onto Carstairs instead, the
savage blow driving the lord to his knees as he barely managed to deflect the three hundred pounds of
metal onto a 7th century pirate's chest. Even over the creaking of the Ark, the splintery explosion of the
chest from the meteoric impact was clearly discernable.
White-faced and trembling, Jeeves had trouble speaking for a moment. "Y-you saved my life," the
butler finally stammered, his nerveless fingers dropping the umbrella to the floor.
"Think nothing of it," Carstairs panted, flexing his hands to stop the stinging. "I'm sure you would
have done the same for me."
Tilting his head, Jeeves glanced at the quarter-ton of metal explorer laying in the splintered midst of
what had once been a sturdy steamer trunk. "Quite so," the manservant remarked in dry sincerity.
Now from beneath the Ark there came a series of squeaks and a banging metallic rattle. Its growth
immediately slowed and with a final groaning lurch that shattered the eastern skylight, the titanic craft
went thankfully still.
"By Gadfrey!" a member whispered askance, wiggling free from between the broken rudder and a
bookcase. "And I thought Williamson's recounting of his trip to Lake Geneva exciting."
Battered, but undamaged, the explorers slowly crawled out from under the furniture, and dusted
themselves off while staring at the impossible vessel. Going to the remains of the liquor cabinet, Lord
Danvers poured himself a stiff drink.
Prof. Einstein straightened the Queen's portrait back on the wall. _Better._
"Damnation, sir," Duke Farthington cried out, clapping Lord Carstairs on the shoulder. "But you're a
hard act to follow!"
Breaking into nervous laughter, the younger members began clearing aside the assorted debris, while
the senior members contemplated the Biblical behemoth filling the hall.
"Of course, how we will get it out of here is another matter entirely," Lord Danvers observed,
finishing his whiskey.
"Damned inconvenient holding meetings with this hanging above our heads," Judge
Foxthington-Symthe stated, thoughtfully stroking one of his many chins. "We could always just tear down
a wall or two and ease it out into the back courtyard. Make a fine gazebo, it would. Impress the
neighbors no end."
All work paused as everybody turned to stare at the judge.
"Outside?" a man asked.
"Where it _rains_?" another questioned.
The entire group of explorers paled at those words and looked at the Ark with growing expressions
of horror. Exactly what were they to do with this thing?
Clapping his hands, Prof. Einstein got the members moving again and eventually a path was cleared
to the doorway, allowing the staff to rush in with brooms and dustpans to begin the Herculean job of
straightening the hall. Leaving them to the task, the disheveled club members now gathered round
Carstairs and Einstein.
"Members of the Explorers Club," Duke Farthington shouted in his best Parliamentary voice. "I give
you, Lord Benjamin Carstairs!"
A formal round of applause came from the members, and the British lord made a sweeping bow.
"Thank you, gentlemen. I am most gratified." Then Carstairs turned to address Prof. Einstein in a quieter
voice. "And thank you, sir, for saving my reputation. If ever I can return the favor, pray inform me."
"Now would be a good time," Einstein said bluntly. "I came here to find two or three men to assist
me on an extremely dangerous expedition." The professor smiled at the dapper young goliath. "But then,