I, Haruspex
I, Haruspex
Christopher Priest
The morning of that January day was icy
cold with bright but slanting sunlight, the blue sky lending
an electric radiance to the hoar frost that lay sharply on the
grass and shrubs of the Abbey grounds. Earlier I had taken
a brief walk across the Long Lawn, but the pre-dawn chill
had driven me indoors again after a few minutes. Now I
waited in the draughty main entrance hall of the Abbey,
behind the closed double doors, listening for the sound of
tyres on the gravel drive outside.
The car sent by the solicitor arrived punctually, only a
few seconds after the clock in the stairwell had finished
chiming nine oclock. I snatched the doors open as soon
as I heard the car come to a halt. The frozen air swirled in
and around me.
The simple formality began.
The chauffeur climbed out of the drivers seat, lowering
his head to one side to avoid dislodging his cap, then
straightened his full-buttoned jacket with a jerking motion
at the hem. He stood erect. Without looking in my direction
he walked smartly to the rear compartment of the car, and
held the door open. He stared into the distance. Miss
Wilkins stepped down: a brief vision of silken stockings, a
tight black skirt, glossy shoes, mousquetaire gloves, a discreet
hat with a wide brim and a veil. She was clutching the
small, box-shaped parcel I was expecting.
As she climbed the double flight of steps towards the
main door the chauffeur followed. He stood protectively
behind her as she confronted me. As usual she did not look
directly at me but held out the package for me to take. She
was looking down at the steps, a parody of demureness. Intoxicating
waves of her civet-based perfume drifted across
to me, and I could not suppress a relishing sniff.
I took the package from her, and also the release form that
required my signature, but now I had the parcel in my hands
I was no longer in any hurry. I shook the package beside my
ear, listening to the satisfying, provocative sound of the hard
little pellets rattling around inside. All that potential locked
within! I stared directly at Miss Wilkins, challenging her to
look back at me, but her expression remained frightened
and evasive. She could not leave without my signature on
the release, so naturally I made her wait. I like to see fear in
another persons face, and in spite of her seeming composure, and
her deliberate avoidance of my gaze, Miss Wilkins
could hide her apprehension no better than she could conceal her
youthful allure. She was trembling, a hint of convulsive movement that induced a terrible bodily craving in me.
As usual, she had gone to manifest efforts to make herself
unattractive to me. The jacket and skirt of her suit, made of
heavy, businesslike serge, and of forbidding stiffness, for me
only served to emphasize the hint of feminine ripeness that
lay beneath. The delay I was causing interested me, the fear
in the young woman stimulated me, and her scents were all
but irresistible.
I said softly, Will you enter my house, Miss Wilkins?
Beneath the veil, her steadfast gaze at the ground was
briefly interrupted; I saw her long lashes flicker.
I dare not, she said, in a whisper.
Then
The moment was interrupted by the chauffeur, who
shifted his weight in an impatient, threatening manner.
Please just sign the receipt, Mr Owsley, he said.
I did not mind him intervening, although I resented the
sense of intimidation. He had his job to do; I expected only
that he should do it civilly. I gave the young woman an
appreciative smile for bringing me my pellets, hoping to excite another response, perhaps even a glimpse of her eyes,
but during the many brief visits she had made in the last
few months she had never once looked straight at me. I fussed with my pen, making it seem that it was unexpectedly
dry of ink, but I must have tried this once before in the past.
Miss Wilkins had another pen at the ready, concealed in
her gloved hand, and she moved deftly to provide me with
it. I took it from her, contriving to brush my fingers against
the soft fabric covering the palm of her hand, but once I had
the thing in my hand there were no more excuses for delay.
I signed the receipt for the package, and Miss Wilkins
seized it from me with a fearful sweep of her hand.
There was a momentary unavoidable collision of her
fingers with mine, but she turned back to the steps and at
once hurried down them to the car. The chauffeur strode
beside her. Her last scents briefly swirled around me, and
I darted my face through them, sniffing them up: not
everything of the flesh she exuded was concealed by the
bottled perfume.
I went to the parapet to watch her, again admiring her
silk-clad legs as she climbed elegantly into the rear compartment of the limousine. Although blinds obscured most
of the windows, I could make out her head and shoulders
as she settled back into the seat. I could not fail to notice the
shudder that convulsed her when the chauffeur closed the
door on her. He hurried to his cab, climbed stiffly inside,
and started the engine at once. Neither of them glanced
back at me or the Abbey. Miss Wilkins lowered her face,
brought a folded white handkerchief to her eyes, held it
there.
The silver-grey Bentley Providence swung around the
ornamental sundial, then accelerated down the drive towards the gates. Gravel flew behind it. I could hear the
sound of the tyres long after the car had passed behind St
Matreys Stump and out of my sight.
Aware of the importance to me of the day, Mrs Scragg
had arrived at work early that morning and was already
in the kitchen, waiting for me to bring the pellets to her.
What she did not know was that I had mystical evaluations of the pellets to perform first.
I hurried as quietly as I could to the conservatory at the
far end of the East Wing and locked the connecting door
behind me. I glanced in all directions from the windows
to make sure I was unobserved.
Across the Long Lawn, in the hollow beyond the trees,
morning mist hung in evil shroud above the Beckon
Slough. I stared across at it for a moment, trying to detect
any sign of movement from within the cover of thick
trees. It was a windless day and the mist was persisting
well into the morning, the sunlight as yet too weak to
disperse it. I shivered, knowing that I would soon have to
venture that way.
I was in the cooler part of the conservatory, the one that
faced down towards the Slough. In the normal course
tropical plants could be expected to thrive in a glass
enclosure on the south face of any house in this part of
England, but here on the Beckon Slough side the air was
inexplicably chilly and condensation usually clung to the
panes. No specimens from the equatorial rain forests
would grow in the mysterious dankness, so here were
kept the pots of common ivy, the thick-leaved ficus, the
fatsia japonica in its huge cauldron. Even hardy plants
like these had to struggle to maintain life.
I squatted on the floor beneath the fatsia, first checking
the most basic of facts, that no error had been made and
that the package was appropriately addressed to me: Mr
James Owsley, Beckon Abbey, Beckonfield, Suffolk. Of
course it was correct; who else would receive such a
package? But like everyone else I had my fantasies.
Inside, as I rocked the parcel to and fro, I could feel the
loose movement of the pellets, their deadly weights knocking about in their separate protective compartments. The
medical staff at the Trust had for some reason sealed up
todays consignment more securely than usual, itself an
intriguing augury. I was forced to tear at the stiff brown
sealing tape, accidentally bending back the nail of my
middle finger as I did so. Sucking at it to try to assuage the
pain I got the lid open and shot a glance inside to be certain
as quickly as possible that everything was in order and as
I required.
A faint chemical smell, with its hint of preservatives
masking the truer stench, drifted promisingly around my
nostrils. Beneath it, the darker, headier fragrance of putrid
organics. The muscles of my throat tightened in a gagging
reflex, and I felt the familiar conflict of terror against rapture, both hinting at different kinds of oblivion.
The sixteen compartments on the top layer, four by four,
each contained a pellet, brown-red or grey-pink, the exact
shade indicating to me from which part of the source it had
been removed. Every pellet had undergone primary compression
by the Trust staff, bringing it down to the approximate size
of a large horse-chestnut, but their methods had
not yet become systematized or a matter of routine and the
results were uneven in shape and size. I knew that the
compression was one of the means by which the staff tried
to distance themselves from their work, but I cared only
about the vital essence. Each pellet was the result of individual sacrifice and surgical endeavour.
Satisfied already with the contents of the package, I
pushed my fingers down the sides of the box and with
immense care lifted away the top layer. I placed it gingerly
aside on the stone-flagged conservatory floor. Underneath
was the cartons second level, also arranged four by four,
and here the pellets were less well formed than the ones on
the top, closer in shape to their clinical origins. Rapture and
terror again took hold of me. I touched one of the pellets at
random and found it bewitchingly hard and resilient to my
touch, as if it had been allowed to dehydrate. I picked it up
and pressed it gently beneath my nostril, inhaling its subtle
fragrance. The hardening process had made the release of
its essence more reluctant, but even so I could sense the
death of the person who had grown the pellet for me. I
knew that this pellet had struggled for months in the silent
but unceasing contest of decay, and as a consequence it
was empowered with the ineluctable life-rage of the dying.
I returned the pellet to its tiny compartment, then lifted
aside the second layer. Two more layers were below, also
arranged in sixteen square compartments. All of them
were filled. For once the Trust had sent me not only quality
and diversity, but quantity too. Sixty-four pellets were
more than enough to get me through the week that lay
ahead. A new and surprising sense of optimism surged
through me.
I wondered: could this be the time I had been waiting
for, perhaps? If I regulated my appetites, partook steadily
of the pellets, varied my intake, started with the most
powerful to make up for the unsatisfactory week I had
recently endured, then gradually moderated my intake so
that I used only the grey slices of tissue until I had the pit
under control, then took the rest in a rush, dosing myself
until insensate on the most potent of the reddish ones...?
Could the nightmare reach its hitherto unimaginable end?
This sudden rush of optimism came because I knew my
strength was starting to decline. I could not continue to
struggle alone much longer.
Many aspects of my life were a source of consternation to
me. My father, who as a young man had been employed as
a sin eater in the six parishes in the vicinity of the Abbey,
often spoke of his wish for me to follow his way, while
warning me of the attendant dangers. As he saw me growing up with a greater haruspical power than his own I knew
he realized that I was overtaking him. The conflict of
parental hope against fear helped destroy him, and in his
last years he slumped into hopelessness and melancholy.
In the final twelvemonth of his life his madness took hold
completely and he taunted me with grotesque descriptions
of what befell those who perceived the powers of entrails
in their efforts to control past and future. That I was already
one such was a fact he could never entirely accept. He had
had his own arcane methods; I had mine. It was the duty
and curse of the male line of our family to stand on the
brink of the abyss and repel the incursion from hell. When
he perforce abandoned the struggle, I took his place. I remain in that role, following my ancestors, until someone
else replaces me. There is no alternative, no end to the
struggle.
I was brought out of my reverie by a staccato rapping
sound on the glazed door that led back into the house.
Mrs Scragg was standing beyond it, her hand raised, the
bulging signet ring she had used to rap on the glass glinting in the daylight. I moved my chest and arms around to
shield what I had been doing and quickly returned the
trays of pellets to their carton.
I stood up and unlocked the door.
Mr Owsley, I must speak to
I have obtained some more supplies, as expected, I
said, walking through and closing the conservatory door
behind me. I proffered the parcel of pellets to her. You
know what to do with them. The rest may be kept in the
cold store until later.
Mr Owsley. James...
Yes?
Whatever you instruct, of course, she said. She glanced at the parcel in her hands, and I heard a deep intake
of breath. I am ready for that. Also, should you
Our eyes met and her unspoken meaning was clear. The arrival of the packages
from the Trust often had a disturbing effect on us both, and sometimes, unpredictably to outsiders had they been there to see it, but memorably for us both, alone
together in the house, violent sexual coupling would follow in the minutes after
I received the pellets. Our physical encounters were so spontaneous that they
often occurred wherever we happened to be: once against a bookcase in my
library, another time on the snooker table in the Great Hall, actually beneath the
eye of the hagioscope hidden there.
We rarely alluded explicitly to the darker side of our relationship, so this
mornings invitation from her was a novelty. Normally, we played the roles of
master and servant, she with an undercurrent of resentment I was never quite
sure was genuine or assumed, I with a lofty disdain that sometimes I truly felt,
sometimes I put on for her benefit or mine. It was my place to make the first
move, but today I was full of haruspical hope, not bodily lust.
No, Patricia, I said as gently and quietly as I could. Not today.
Anger briefly flared in her eyes; I knew she hated sexual rejection. But I was
feeling calm and positive, excited by the realization of what the new pellets
would mean for my destiny.
Then allow me to cook for you...sir.
If you would.
Do you have a preference today?
A ragout, I said, having already considered the various choices. Do you
have a suitable recipe?
Mr Owsley, she said. Dont you recall the stew I cooked for you last week?
I do, I said, for it had been a memorable experience. I do not wish you to
try that recipe again.
It was not the method but the ingredients.
But it is the ingredients I must consume, I said. No matter what your
damned method might be, I require the pellets to be appetizingly prepared.
She walked away from me with bad grace.
At times like this I cared little for her feelings, because I knew she was being
well remunerated under the terms of the Trust. The mortgage on her house had
been repaid in full to the loan corporation and invalid John Scragg, her husband
whose health had been ruined during his service in the Great War, was more
comfortable than he could ever once have dreamed of. I was the greatest good
fortune to the family Scragg. In this light the additional pleasures I took with her
were a small price for her to pay. None the less, she continued to resent me. My
father once told me that he and my mother had also had problems with servants,
until they found the remedy.
With the domestic arrangements taken care of for the remainder of the
dayindeed, for the rest of the weekI was determined that my optimistic mood
should not be broken. I felt that if I could not confront the mystery of the
Beckon Slough on a morning like today, then I might never in any conscience
be able to again. I found my warmest coat, and left directly.
The day was bright, icy and shimmering with the promise of deeper winter
weather to come. The frosted grass crunched enticingly under my shoes as I
strode down the slope of the Long Lawn. I knew I was counting on the buoyancy of a passing mood to bear me through the dread of what lay ahead. As I
passed from the blue-white, winter-sunlit slopes of frosted grass close to the
house, and went along the cinder track that led into the dark wood, the cooler
fears of my mystical calling returned. My pace slowed.
Soon the first tendrils of mist were reaching out above my head. Around my
ankles eddies of whiteness dashed like slinking fish. The temperature had
dropped ten or fifteen degrees since I had left the house. Above, in the gaunt
branches of the trees, rooks cawed their melancholy warnings.
The slope was steeper now and where the path lay in permanent shadow the
frozen soil was slippery and treacherous. Brambles grew thickly on each side,
the dormant shoots lying across the path, their buds and thorns already worn
away in several places by my frequent passing.
The Beckon Slough was ahead.
I smelt it before I could see it, a dull stench drifting out with the mist, a dim
reminder of the pellets own putrid reek. Then I could see it, the dark stretch
of mud and water, overgrown with reeds and rushes, and the mosses and fungi
that surrounded it.
Life clung torpidly and uselessly to the shifting impermanence of the bog.
Saplings grew further back around the edge of the marsh, although even here the
ground was too sodden to hold the weight of full-grown trees. The young shoots
never grew to more than twelve or fifteen feet before they tipped horribly into the
muck below. Roots and branches protruded muddily all around the periphery of
the consuming quagmire, along with the sheets of broken ice, slanting up at
crazy angles, broken by the sheer weight of the intrusion from above, the
machine that had descended so catastrophically into the vegetating depths. It
remained in place, an enigma that fate had selected me to unravel.
About a third of the way across the Slough were the remains of the crashing
German aircraft. Now it rested, frozen in time. It was painted in mottled shades
of dark brown and green, and it had made its first shattering impact. It had been
immobilized as it rebounded, rising in plumes of icy spray from the frozen
muck. The planes back had broken, but because the process of disintegration
was still taking place it remained recognizable. A few seconds into the future
the plane would inevitably become a heap of twisted, burning wreckage
amongst the trees, but because it had been immobilized in some fantastic way
it was for the moment apparently whole.
The wing closer to me had broken where it entered the fuselage. It and its engine
would soon cartwheel dangerously into the trees as the terrible stresses of the crash
continued. The propeller of this engine was already broken: it had two blades
instead of three, the missing one apparently trapped somewhere in the mud, but
the spindle was still rotating with sufficient speed that the remaining two blades
were throwing a spray of mud in a soaring vane through the mist above.
The other wing was out of sight, below the surface, its presence evinced by
a swollen bulge of water, about to break out in an explosion of filthy spray.
The perspex panes of the cockpit cover were starred where machine-gun
bullets had left their trail across the upper fuselage. Mud had already sprayed
across what was left of the canopy. Inside, horribly and inexplicably, crouched
the figure of the man who waved to me.
He waved again now.
I stared, I raised one hand. I raised another. Uncertainty froze me. What
would a wave from me mean? What would it imply?
I briefly averted my gaze and lowered my arms, embarrassed by my weakness
of will. When I looked back the man inside the aircraft waved again, pointing up
at the perspex canopy with his other hand.
I had been visiting the scene of this frozen crash for several weeks and by
careful measurement and reckoning had worked out roughly where the planes
final resting place was likely to be. Every day the tableau I saw had moved
forward a few more instants of time, heading for its final surcease. Throughout
the gradual process the man remained in the cockpit, signalling to me. His face
was distorted, but whether it was with pain, or anger, or fear, or all three, I could
not tell. All I knew was that he was imploring me to help him in some way.
But how? And who was he? For some reason he was standing in the cramped
cockpit, not in one of the two seats where the pilot and another crewman
would normally be positioned. I knew he was not one of them, because I could
also see their bodies, strapped into the seats, their heads slumped forward.
The tail of the aircraft was intact, painted dark green with paler speckles, and
bearing a geometrical device that already had such profound terror and significance that I could only stare at it in awe. It was the sign of the swastika, the
broken four-legged cross, once a symbol of prosperity and creativity, Celtic,
Buddhist, Hindu, revered by ancient peoples of all kinds, but recently suborned
by the vile National Socialists in Germany and made a token of suppression,
brutality and tyranny.
It was an aircraft of the German Air Force, the Luftwaffe, the Air Weapon, that
was crashing here. It was rising out of Beckon Slough, immobilized by my
attention to it. Somehow, my interest in it held it here.
Soon, if I were to release it, presumably by inattention, the
plane would conclude its dying fall: the broken wing
would cartwheel into the woods, the fuselage would complete its rebounding lurch into the air before sinking finally
beneath the filthy mud, and the spilling aviation spirit
would explode in a deadly ball of white flame, detonating
the hidden load of bombs that were carried aboard.
But not yet. I had its mysteries to fathom first.
They were focused on the presence of the man who
watched me from the damaged cockpit, signalling desperately to me. But how could I reach him? Did he expect me
to walk across the wreckage, in hazard to myself, to free
him? There was a violent dynamic in the plane: to try to
enter it might embroil me in its destructive end. The only
logical way for me to scramble across to the cockpit
would be along the unbroken wing, but this, as I have
said, was half-submerged in the frozen slime.
I felt no urgency to respond to the mans pleas. Anyway,
there was a larger mystery.
Five weeks earlier I had spotted what I thought must be
a serial number stencilled on the side of the planes fin,
beneath the swastika. I had since spent many hours in my
library, and in correspondence with other scholars and
investigators, some of them abroad, and had established
beyond doubt that such a plane with such a registration
number did not exist! Indeed, the Heinkel company,
whose serial number sequence it turned out to be, was at
present several hundred units short of such a number.
Moreover, it was self-evidently a warplane, apparently
shot down while flying over Britain, and therefore in itself
a riddle. No state of war existed. Peace remained in this
year 1937, fragile and tentative, but peace none the less.
The inexplicable German warplane was moving through
time in diverse directions. Forward, at fractional speed,
into its own oblivion, throwing up the sludge of the marsh
in a fountain of vile spray, killing the occupants, detonating the store of bombs it carried in its bay and felling a
giant swathe of Beckon Wood as it did so.
But it had also moved back through time, perplexingly,
impossibly. Europe was at peace, Chancellor Hitlers
armies of workers, thugs and soldiers were not as yet on
the march, the boot of the tyrant was still at rest within the
borders of the old Reich. The Nazi cry was for lebensraun,
living space for the German race, and a deadly spreading of
the nationalist poison through Europe must inevitably
follow. Total war against Germany might indeed lie somewhere ahead, as the politicians warned, inevitably, devastatingly. As yet, though, in the quiet time in which I lived,
Britain and Germany and much of Europe, clung to peace,
brittle but miraculously persisting.
Out of that future, floating back to its own destructive
destiny in the wood that grew in the grounds of my familys
house, came this German bomber, victim of a machine-gun attack. By British defenders? How could I possibly tell?
But it had fallen into my terrible domain, and consequently
I had inadvertently sealed it in my present, slowing the
plunge into its own final future.
I was a man of certainties: good and bad, order and
chaos, liberty and death. These were my concerns. I cared
not for enigmas, even though this one could exert a deadly
fascination over me.
I could feel the haruspical strength in me waning and
knew I must hurry back to the house for Patricia Scraggs
meal. In recent days a demon in me had sometimes urged
me to delay while I regarded the German bomber. As the
essential power of the pellets fadedmy last meal had
been eaten more than twelve hours beforeso my ability
to halt or reverse time failed in me. I knew that if I were
simply to stand here at the fringe of Beckon Slough for the
rest of the afternoon I would likely see the final destructive
moments of the aircraft enacted before my eyes. The prospect of such a spectacle was an undeniable temptation.
I had other masters, though.
I turned and walked back through the trees towards the
house. At the point where the track curved to the right,
taking me out of sight of the plane, I turned to look back.
The man in the cockpit was waving frantically at me,
apparently urging me not to leave. I pondered his plight
again for a few momentsnothing ever occurred in my
life without mystical significancebut continued on towards the house.
Mrs Scraggs cooking was sufficient, but only just.
Today she had soaked the pellets in a dark brown gravy,
rather lumpy for my taste but otherwise acceptable. She
was employed to provide me with food that gave nourishment, not pleasure. When I had prepared myself in the
Great Hall she brought me the dish under its silver chafing lid, placed it before my seat at the long table and then
hovered expectantly.
Will there be anything else, Mr Owsley?
Not, I think, at present.
A little later, perhaps?
Her gaze was steady, determined. I said, I dont know,
Patricia. I have to work. If you could stay late this evening,
maybe when I have finished...?
Again, I knew I was hurtfully rejecting an overt offer,
but now she had laid the pellets before me I was single-minded, as she must have known.
Whatever pleases you, sir.
She left. I followed her to the double doors, trying to
seem courteous, and closed them behind her.
I listened for the sound of her steps receding along the
uncarpeted corridor, then I locked the doors and bolted
them top and bottom. I gave them a forceful testing shake
to be certain they were securely closed against her or anyone else who tried to interrupt what I was about to do. I
put in place my secret anti-tamper seals, then returned to
the dish waiting for me at the table.
I quickly removed the chafing cover and seasoned the
food with several vigorous shakes of the pepper pot, and
three long scoops with the knife into the mustard jar. With
one last glance behind me to make certain I was not being
observed I picked up the plate, dropped a knife and fork
into my breast pocket, and went to the raised dais at the
gallery end of the Hall. I worked the mechanism of the concealed door in the panelling of the wall and passed through
into the hagioscope that lay behind. I took up my position.
From here I was afforded a double view: the cell was a
squint, to use the term that the original masons themselves
would have employed. On one side of me, through a slit
cunningly contrived in the stone wall and the wooden
panelling was a narrow, restricted view back into the Great
Hall I had left moments before. It was only through this
narrow aperture that the dim ambient light inside the hagioscope arose. On the other side, through a much larger gap,
a mere turn of the head away, was a glimpse into hell.
There was no light down there, in the great abyss lying
beneath the Abbey. I could see nothing in the impenetrable
black, nor was I intended to see. Whatever inhabited that
sunken void required no light to give itself life. It, they,
existed in a dark of such profundity that all human feeling
or emotion was extinguished too. However, my presence
in the hagioscope enabled me, Janus-like, to sit at the gateway between past and present, guarding the way. Behind
me, the present world; before me, the denizens of an ancient past and a deplorable future. I was suspended in time,
like the dying aircraft that even now was arrested in the
mire of Beckon Slough.
I was still cradling the plate of cooked meat. I knew that it
was cooling quickly. Difficult to eat even when hot and
freshly served, the pellets were nauseating if they were
allowed to cool down. I retrieved the knife and fork from my
pocket and began to eat the ragout as quickly as possible.
With Mrs Scraggs artful culinary techniques, and the
more brutal coverings of spices I had latterly applied, the
food was just about edible. Even so, it required an inhuman will to be able to put the pellets in my mouth.
Instinctively, for there were still vestiges of the human in
me, I looked first for the smaller pieces, the ones most
likely to have had their fibres cooked down into masticable form, or the ones which would yield easiest to the
knife, or the ones which I could see had received the
greatest share of the pepper. While I chewed steadily
through the stuff, feeling the sense of evil power growing
in me, I tried to distract myself with childish mnemonicsold
nursery rhymes, playground chantsin a vain
attempt to postpone the imminent confrontation, distract
myself not only from the knowledge of what I was putting
into my mouth, but also from the growing malignity that
took shape whenever I ate.
I could unerringly sense the fiends of the nether world,
rousing themselves for our fray, in the same way as I had
to relish the rubbery gristle of the pellets and the vile
flavours of death that were released with their juices.
Even so, I could take comfort from the consequence of
the grotesque meal. I had the transcendent knowledge that
time was being reversed by my actions, that evil was being
repulsed and that the lurkers of the pit were being held
back. On the colossal scale of the vasty death-universe, the
delay was breathtakingly short, but enough, enough, all I
could do. I alone, haruspex against evil.
Continuing life was my reward; life denied would be
my punishment.
As I worked the meat between my jaws I began to sense
action and reaction below. I heard discarnate screams,
the fury of the frustrated malignity of evil embodied, of
the dashing of whatever hopes such monstrous skulkers
could entertain, as their slow attempts to claw their way
up and out of the pit towards the surface of the world
were suddenly thwarted. Most of the meal would be used
up pushing them back down to the level at which I had
left them the day before, but with this new potency I
believed there would be enough energy to force larger
reversals on them. I chewed steadily, drawing every iota
of flavour from the pellets, returning the beings whence
they had come. Every time I swallowed I felt the peristaltic thrust of my oesophagus, forcing down the meat. My
minds eye glimpsed in fitful bursts the outlines of their
noisome forms as they surrendered to the release of the
death-force I was sucking from the pellets.
Their calling threats, echoing hoarsely around the slime-caked walls of the pit, gave aural shape to their forms!
They were low, flat, many-legged beings, each forelimb
and hindlimb jointed at horrible double knees, like immense
arthropods. Their limbs extruded to small claws, with
which they flailed at the rubbery walls, trying to gain purchase. Each one of the beings was more than two yards in
length, far too large for reason! I shuddered to perceive
them! Their heads, sunk low towards the part that could
only be the abdomen, were wreathed in cilia, flailing as the
angry brows swung from side to side. They had deep mandibles, their maws perpetually slack-jawed and drooling,
emitting their beastly howls of anger, vengeance and threat.
And the rattling! How they clattered! Some large part of
their arthropodic bodies was chitinous, perhaps a loosely
connected cuticle or carapace, so that each thrusting step
produced a loud, ghastly clicking as they moved their ill-formed frames. It was the cacophony of sticks, of staves
flailed against each other, of bones breaking in a yard.
And their relentless, ineluctable climbing would bring
them, if not halted or at least given pause, into the world of
men, women and children. I and only I stood before these
denizens of the pit, barring their way, reversing their quest
for escape.
Into this, my long-suffered private world of struggle with
stasis, had come by some freakish chance a modern-day
intrusion. It was itself as baffling as the creeping horrors I
was doomed to obstruct. Somehow, from a militarized
future that was conceivable only to a few, had appeared a
German warplane. This, shot down and crashing into the
Beckon Slough, had become frozen by the same distortions
of time that I, haruspical mystic, used to repel the underworld invaders. What was the link?
Because I could never see the dwellers of the world beneath me, inevitably I often wondered whether my loathsome toil might be the product of delusion. Only I, aberrant
haruspex from an ancient family of mystics, scholars, clairvoyants, contemplatives, could deal with the threat they
presented, but equally it was only my family who had
divined their presence.
The crashing German warplane was the first evidence of
third-party recognition, incomprehensible though it might
be. The plane must have come to Beckon Abbey either
because I was in it, or because the pit was to be found
beneath it. Now, whether or not this was the intention, it
was held frozen in time not unlike the way the repugnant
dwellers of the pit were halted.
Furthermore, I knew, as I chewed stoically on the pellets,
that not only were the malignant beasts being forced back
into their abyss, so the warplane too would at this moment be inching back in
time, plotting a reversal of its catastrophic arrival. First it would sink briefly but
necessarily into the mud, where its broken components would start to reassemble, then there would come an abrupt and cataclysmic reverse lifting out of
the mud, and it would begin the long backwards tracing of its crash from the sky.
Seven days before, while cheerlessly consuming the pellets of last weeks
inferior consignment, I had found entirely by chance a uniquely potent
example. In devouring it I recognized that the disturbing potency within was
having a powerful effect on the arthropodous horrors inside the pit. The
moment the eating ritual had been completed I rushed down to the Slough to
see for myself. I found I had managed to reverse the bombers path so far that
the doomed machine was actually hovering briefly in the air above the mire,
returning for an inert instant to its role as a dweller of the skies. Both of its
propellers were intact at this moment before final impact (and to my perception
slowly turning), but from the nacelle of the engine on my side was streaming
some kind of transparent liquid, presumably the fuel, and behind that a searing
whiteness of flame, and flowing behind that was a long trail of black smoke.
This traced the aircrafts final path: an almost straight line backwards and up
at an angle of some forty-five degrees to the horizontal, past the treetops, into
the blue sky, into the unseen flying formation of its fellow bombers, and, for
all I knew, back thence into the heart of the German nation.
It was this action of mine that had alerted the man in the cockpit. He had been
invisible to me until that day, presumably crouching or lying on the floor, but
in some amazing way he had become aware of my actions. Ever since then, his
signalling for help had been distraught and constant.
As the days passed, and I eked out my supply of pellets, the Heinkel had
gradually returned to its inexorable collision with the bog, while the man
within gestured towards me with increasing consternation. Soon the plane had
reached the position in which I had seen it this morning, not more than a
second or two from its final destruction.
For the first time I had a kind of yardstick to judge my progress. It had seemed
to me until today that if I allowed the aircraft to continue on into oblivion the
other struggle too would end, but in that case with the catastrophic escape of
the horrors into the world. This was the true significance to me of the new
consignment of pellets.
I was saving the largest, juiciest, most deadly pellet to last. Earlier in the meal,
as I began eating, I had sensuously stroked the cutting edge of my knife across
it and nothing of its sinewy texture had succumbed. It was tough, perfectly
shaped! A streak of gristle, unreduced by Mrs Scraggs cooking, ran through it
from side to side. When I finally took the pellet into my mouth, whole, as it had
been found, it was the gristle that produced the tensile strength. It stayed stubbornly in my mouth, distending and bulging while I chewed, but retaining its
overall shape. Juices in it were nevertheless released, and as I worked horribly
at my task I could taste their exotic menace as they flowed over my tongue.
The final pellet at last produced a reaction from one of my enemies lurking
in the dark. In my mind, a dread familiar voice:
Owsley, Owsley, abandon this work and surrender to the pit!
Leave me! I cried aloud.
You can never prevail, came the mentally perceived tones of my accuser.
Flesh is weak, life is short, we are forever! Tighten your gut muscles, Owsley!
I shall not!
Do you not feel the nausea creeping within you? Do you not taste the fleshly
residues of what you have consumed? Are they not churning within you,
indigestible, disgusting, sickening, wrenching your gut into coils of vomitory?
Puke up the cancers, Owsley! Vomit them up!
I lurched back from the gap that led to hell. I could hardly breathe and nausea
had me in its grip. If I stayed where I was I would doubtless spew up everything
I had eaten, as often before I had found myself doing. But if I did eject the half-digested tumours all my work would be undone. This my hellish interlocutor
knew full well. He came for me on most days, but always when my haruspical
work was being most effective. If I were to vomit up the epitheliomata of the
meal I would lose almost everything I had just achieved.
So I retreated. The only way I could ignore the terrible voice was to leave the
hagioscope, and this I did.
Once I had regained the comparative normality of the Great Hall, it was not
difficult to regain control over the feelings of nausea. After I had taken several
deep breaths I made sure that the concealed door had closed firmly behind me,
and also that no one had entered the Great Hall while I had been in the hagioscope. I lit a candle and hurried to the main door to check the locks, then
examined my secretly placed seals, a disturbance to which would reveal if someone had tried to force their way in. Of course, only Mrs Scragg was generally with
me at the house, and she could probably be trusted, but the way time was dilated
by my struggles inside the hagioscope meant I had to be sure. Hours of subjective
time could pass imperceptibly, because my own sense of it was as distorted by
the ingestion of the cancers as was that of the devilish creatures I was repulsing.
Now it had become night and the Hall was in darkness. I remembered my half-promise of an assignation with Patricia Scragg when I had completed my work,
but there was no sign of her. She normally left the Abbey halfway through the
afternoon, and today would probably not be prepared to face what might be a
third rejection.
Thoughts of her were distracting me. The important matter was that the pit
was secure again, or reasonably so, and would remain in that condition until
the next day at least. If the new intestinal epithelial pellets were as powerful as
I suspected, it was even possible that another visit to the squint might not be
necessary until the day after.
I moved swiftly around the Great Hall, lighting more candles, pulling the blinds
across the tall windows, blocking out the night, the glimpse of the moon and the
stars, but most of all the white ground-mist that moved in across the valley at this
time of the year, to lie like a winding-sheet across the grounds of the Abbey.
After I had checked once more that the door to the hagioscope was sealed, I
went through the gloomy corridors to the domestic wing of the house, returning
my platter, glass and cutlery to the scullery. Of Mrs Scragg there was still no sign.
I left everything by the sink, then ascended to my apartment on the second floor.
I stripped off all my clothes (as usual at this time of day they were sodden with
old sweat and the seams scuffed uncomfortably against my flesh), and immersed
myself in a bath of hot water.
When I went into my chamber afterwards, Patricia Scragg was there. She had
lit my paraffin lamps and was waiting by the side of my bed, naked but for the
sheet she held against her body. I glared at her, resenting her persistence, but
even so unable to deny the animal lusts she aroused in me. She lowered the
sheet so that I might gaze at her body. I relished the sight of her tired face, her
pale heavy thighs, her dimpled elbows and knees, the girdle of fat about her
waist, her large drooping breasts, the pasture of black curling bristle at the
junction of her legs where soon I would gladly graze. I placed my hands on her
shoulders, then ran my tongue down her face and body, pausing to nuzzle on
her heavy breasts with their tiny but tempting lumps of hard fibre buried deep
within. I pushed her down on the bed and quickly serviced her, thrusting with
greedy passion at her ample body.
I was exhausted afterwards, but my need to study was constant, so leaving
Patricia Scragg to make her own way out of the house I pulled on my reading
gown. With tremendous weariness of tread I went up to the next floor to the
library. Here I took down several volumes of psychology: on the meaning of
revenge, of fear, of repulsion. I glanced through them drowsily in the inadequate
lamplight for half an hour. My books were the sole comfort of my life, but so
drained was I by the encounter in the hagioscope, and by satisfying Patricia
Scraggs agitated sexual needs, that I found it impossible to concentrate.
Later I returned to my chamber and slept.
In the morning I discovered a singular fact: part of one of the pellets from the
day before had been packed between two of my lower back teeth and was still
firmly in place. Neither pushing at it with my tongue nor scraping with a
fingernail could dislodge it. When I had dressed I took a
match, broke off the head to make a tiny jagged spear, and
tried to pick out the compacted meat with that. Again, no
success, but I did finally manage to shift it far enough to
release some of the juices that by some marvel it still contained. They trickled across my taste buds.
Twelve minutes flashed by in a subjective moment! I
checked the lapse of time, then returned the watch to my
waistcoat pocket, still only half-believing that the act of
consuming necrotic flesh should have such a potent effect
on my mind. No matter how frequently the time distortion
occurred it invariably astonished me.
I realized I was entering a familiar state of mind, in which
starkest gloom jostled with boundless optimism. I therefore decided to measure the effect of the pellets I had eaten
the previous day. Since it had obtruded itself into my life,
the German bomber had come to signify a kind of yardstick
of temporal motion. Its advances and reverses were a guide
to the progress of the main conflict. Now that I had realized
this connection it made no sense to subject myself needlessly to the torments of the pit. I could gain the reassurance I sought with much less risk to my sanity.
It was raining when I left the house and the crisp frosts
of the previous few days were no more. The sloping sward
of the Long Lawn was already sodden in its lower reaches.
I was glad to reach the cinder path that led into the trees.
The Slough, when I came to it, lay undisturbed, the
surface calm and untrammelled, apart from the constant
patterns of overlapping circles made by the rain on the
few stretches of clear water. Above the muddy water, a
precious few inches above it, lay the plummeting body of
the doomed warplane. At once my spirits lifted! The
latent power of the pellets now in my possession was
beyond doubt.
In the latest manifestation, the aircraft was more or less
physically intact, not counting the visible damage the
machine-gun rounds had caused to the cockpit cover and
engine cowling. Both wings were attached, and although
the spilling fuel, the blazing fire and the black smoke
streamed back from the engine, it was possible to see it as
still a fighting plane, not a broken wreck.
The tip of the wing closer to methe one that I knew
within a second or two of real time would break off
catastrophically as the plane ploughed into the mudwas
only two or three inches from the solid ground on
which I stood.
A single session in the hagioscope, and this! One meal
of the new pellets! Fifty or sixty more such pieces still to
come!
Was it at last the final stage of the bitter struggle against
the chaos of the pit?
Then, immediately banishing the heady optimism, a voice
said in my mind, Get me out of here!
It was the same voice as that familiar, loathsome cry
from the heart of the pit. My first thought: It cannot be!
Had the monster found a way to track me beyond the
hagioscope, away from the house, to here?
It came again, more urgently, I am about to perish! I
implore you! The canopy is jammed! Cant you do something?
I realized that it was the helmeted figure who stood in
the cockpit. His face was pressed desperately against the
perspex panes of the cockpit cover and both of his arms
were reaching up, struggling to release the catches that
held it in place. His movements were frenzied, panicky.
I cant help you! I shouted at him.
Yes you can! Find something with which to release
me. I beg you! Save me from this!
What are you? I cried. Who are you? What do you
want?
I am an emissary from the future.
I am strong with mysticism, not with physical or muscular development. The predicament of the man on the
aircraft wrenched at me, but it was not in my power to
assist him. He wanted me to wrestle with the jammed
cockpit cover? Or to try to cut my way through the metal
side of the fuselage? I regarded him across the short
distance that separated us. He was locked in a time and
destiny of his own, an alien intruder, subject to the will of
a universe fundamentally different from mine.
His voice came at me repeatedly, a sane but desperate
plea for help. Wondering what if anything I could do, I
stood there regarding him, playing at the soreness of my
gum with the tip of my tongue, fretting at the piece of
pellet that had become lodged in my teeth the day before.
It seemed to have worked a little more loose since waking
this morning, and when I sucked at it I distinctly felt it
shift. Still watching the man in the aircraft I picked at the
fragment of meat with the nail of my ring finger, and in a
moment it was out. The familiar essence lifted like gas
against my taste sensors.
The plane moved back.
You are who I am seeking! the voice cried in my mind.
You are Owsley!
I am.
I recoiled with shock from the discovery that he knew
my name!
And you are haruspical! he called.
I am.
Now he stood erect, abandoning his panicky efforts to release the cockpit cover. His demeanour was strangely calm.
You must release me if you can. You doubtless know why.
I believe I do, I said, responding to the composure that
had come over him and which was also now surrounding
me. But there are questions
None matters!
How did you?
Owsley, be silent! His mood had abruptly changed
again. Release me from this aircraft! Then perhaps we
might have reasons to converse.
Disliking the authoritative tone, yet even so respecting it,
I turned away from him and followed the long path back in
the direction of the Abbey. I looked around me as I walked,
hoping to spot something hard and heavy and made of
metal. Nothing offered itself as suitable. When I entered
the house I noticed at once from the clock in the stairwell
that more time had fled while the pellet juices flowed in my
mouth. It was already past noon and as I went along the
ground floor corridors I glimpsed Mrs Scragg pacing impatiently
in the short passage outside the kitchen. Fortunately,
she happened to have her back towards me at that
moment, so I was able to pass unseen beyond her.
In the utility room, after a search, I found a long steel spanner or wrench, I knew not which, apparently left behind by
a workman at some time in the past. I assumed it would be
sufficient for the task of breaking through the thick perspex, but my skills, as I say, are not those of the physical
body. As I carried the heavy implement back down the
lawns towards Beckon Wood I felt self-conscious with it
and knew that it hung at an unnatural angle in my grasp.
The weather was still cold and unpleasant: it was raining
persistently and the damp twigs on the drooping branches
of the trees brushed against my face and hair. As I followed
the bend in the path and again saw Beckon Slough, I raised
the spanner in my hand. Holding it before me I strode
across the muddy ground to the site of the wreck.
The man remained standing within the cockpit, calm
and poised, awaiting my return. I went to where the tip of
the wing hovered a few inches above the muddy ground.
While you were gone, the man said, in my mind, I
was trying to establish how best to force the canopy.
Dont you know already? I said, facing him.
Why should I?
You are a member of the Air Force, are you not? The
German
Luftwaffe?
My mind seemed to laugh mockingly. I, an aviator? I
have never before been inside such a thing. I am a man of
learning and of the spirit, as you.
Who are you?
My name is Tomas Bauer. You, I know, are James Owsley. Amazement stirred again in me, but at once the man
added, Of course, you are the one I have travelled to find.
Since the death of my father I had known that I was
upholding a tradition, one that I had to honour, and one
which eventually I should have to pass on to another. I
had expected, though, that such release would not come
for many years or decades. Tomas Bauers words, and the
mystical circumstances of his arrival, informed me that
the moment had come. Waves of relief, excitement and a
distinct tremor of fear passed through me.
However, the immediate problem remained of what to
do to release Tomas Bauer from the aircraft. I was still
holding the spanner aloft, but the feeling of foolish physical ineptitude was still paralysing me.
I heard in my mind, James Owsley, you must do as I
direct. No more words!
I tried to assent, but it was as if a sponge flooded with
chloroform had been pressed irresistibly over my mind,
making it insensible. I felt myself propelled forward, raising my right foot like an automaton to step on the very tip
of the wing itself. It took my weight, without dipping. I
stepped forward and walked across the curved upper surface of the wing towards the bullet-riven cockpit. When I
reached the curved housing of the engine I had to scramble
over the hot metal case, carefully not placing any part of
my body in the dangerous stream of escaping fuel. The
propeller, still turning slowly a few inches away from me
as I passed, set up a torrent of forced air behind it, neither
to my perception moving nor turbulent but somehow compressed
by the rotation of the airscrew.
Then I was against the side of the cockpit cover itself,
looking in at the man who had taken control of my mind.
Tomas had removed his leather helmet and I could see his
features clearly. He was a young man, tall and ruggedly
built, with a shock of blond hair and a sturdily jutting jaw.
He stared at me with an intent frown, exercising his mental will against mine.
There was a part of the transparent canopy where two
panels of it overlaid each other, apparently the place where
the two halves joined after the front part had been slid forward and locked in position. Tomas directed me towards
it. I slipped the edge of the spanner against what crack I
could see, then heaved at it with all my might, trying to use
it as a lever.
When the thick perspex did not shift I felt my arms swing
backwards, raising the spanner above my head. I brought
it down with a tremendous blow, one far more heavy than
anything I would have believed myself capable before
now. The cockpit cover shattered at once, a large star-shaped hole appearing in the flattened top. Three more
blows forced an irregular aperture large enough for a man
to escape through.
I reached down and held Tomass arms as he found footholds in the cramped cockpit and pushed himself up and
through to freedom. As he clambered around I could not
help looking down and past him, to where I could see the
bodies of the two German aviators. The one in the left-hand
seat had clearly suffered a direct hit from a bullet, because a
large part of his helmet and skull had been broken away. He
was slumped against his dashboard of instruments. I could
see a bulge of blood rising through the gap in his head and
knew it soon to be a fountaining gout to join the soak of
blood that already covered his flying suit. From this evidence of a pumping heart I realized that the pilot must be, in
a way, still alive. The other aviator, who outwardly appeared uninjured, although my view of him was restricted, also
was leaning forward with his face against the instruments.
His body was broken in some horrible way I shrank from
trying to imagine. I had to assume he was dead or unconscious, even though there were no apparent wounds on him.
While I was regarding this disagreeable sight with a
sense of increasing horror, Tomas had climbed swiftly
out of the cockpit and was standing on the wing beside
me. He tugged at my arm, swinging me round.
We leave, he said peremptorily. These were the first
words he had so far uttered while I had a clear sight of his
face. As I hastened to follow him, down the wing and
through the turbulent stream of compressed air behind
the propeller, I realized that the words I was hearing in
my mind were not the same as those forming in his
mouth. The words did not move with his lips.
As I thought about this, he instantly replied, I speak in
German. You will hear, I believe, English. It is the same
for me, in reverse. It is best, I think.
He jumped down from the wing. After a few uncertain
steps on the muddy bank of the Slough he strode off along
the cinder pathway. His long black coat swung in the air
behind him. Now he was freed from the aircraft he was
walking with easy, powerful grace, like an athlete. From
his gait I would not have credited that he was haruspical:
others of my calling that I had met were, like me, small in
stature, bookish, introspective, timid in all matters that
required strenuous activity. Tomas had implied that he was no better
equipped to contend with problems of the physical worldotherwise,
surely, he could have escaped from that plane without my help?but
even so nature had apparently blessed him with a strong and agile body.
When we reached the part of the path where I normally struck up the Long
Lawn towards the house, Tomas Bauer came to a halt. He turned towards me
as I caught up with him. The dark shape of the Abbey, squatting on the brow
of Beckon Hill, loomed up behind him. He extended a hand of friendship
towards me.
I thank you James Owsley, he said, and now that I was only a few inches
away from him I found distracting the dissonance there was between the words
I heard and the movements of his lips. To you I owe my life.
Why were you on the aircraft? I said. It makes no sense to me. Where was
the aircraft going and who sent it? How was it shot down? How did you contrive
it to crash on my property? What?
He held up the palms of his hands to silence me.
Nor does it make sense to me, he said. I was in Germany, you are in
England. The war was running its course and I could find no other way to reach
England
To which war do you refer?
The war between our two countries, of course.
There is no war, I said. True, there are portents, but the German Chancellor
would not be so insane
He is mad enough, said Tomas. You can be sure of that. In my time his
madness has led to a war that is engulfing most of Europe. It is irrelevant to the
greater struggle, the one in which you and I engage, but there is no avoiding it
for practical matters. I was effectively trapped in my homeland, while my true
work was here. The German army is poised to invade England
But this is fantasy! I cried.
To you it might seem so. But I speak of what is a grim reality of the time in
which I live. Four, maybe five years from this moment. Madness? Yes it is!
Engines of war are turning, but they are not such deadly machineries as the
ones you and I face. We confront a larger madness, a virulent incursion whose
terrors would dwarf in significance a mere military conquest by one nation of
another. You reside above the pit of hell and its denizens seek release. The portents have been written in texts since the dawn, of time. I have studied many
such texts and so, I know, have you. Our task is beyond history! War, pestilence, genocide, famine...these are trivial concerns, compared with what we
confront! I had no alternative: I had to escape to England to be with you. After
much doubt I came to the conclusion that the only way was to travel with one
of the planes that was flying to bomb your English towns. I knew there would
be risks, but in my desperation I saw no alternative.
You raise more questions than you answer, I said.
And I have told you they are of no account. I am here; that is sufficient. Are
we at last to unite and engage together in our struggle against the creatures of
the pit?
In my life there is no other concern, I said.
Nor in mine. So we must address ourselves to it.
He turned from me and strode purposefully up the lawn towards the Abbey.
Once again I found myself following in his wake. His manner was decisive,
arrogant, imperious. He behaved as if I had been merely caretaking the house
until the moment of his arrival. As I trotted behind him, already furious with
myself for allowing him to dominate me, flashing memories of the years I had
endured alone were shining in my mind, almost dazzling me. Was Tomas
Bauer somehow projecting them at me?
No matter the source: I could not ignore them. I remembered the first time my
father took me into the squint, so that I might experience the raw evil of the pits
emanations and truly learn what it would mean to follow him there. He thrust
my face against the opening so that I had to stare down into the merciless
darkness, and while he held me with his knee against the small of my back he began
an endless braying sermon. His leg moved up and down against me, his yelling
voice becoming a terrifying stridulation. It was a new and stunning insight into
my father. When I managed to free myself and struggle round to face him in the
confined space of the hagioscope, he was looming over me, lit from all sides by
the candles that guttered from every crevice in the rock walls. He bellowed his
ranting, maniacal entreaties into the pit, swaying horribly from side to side, a
Bible held aloft in one hand, a glistering golden crucifix in the other.
I also could not forget the physical aftereffect that the first experience had on
me: the long hours that followed while I retched disconsolately into the pewter
bowl beside my bed, a purging that was a making-ready of my body for the fray
that on some dark level it must have known would be coming. Then there were
those few precious weeks when my father allowed me to work alongside him,
and when I, in my naïvete, had believed he was encouraging me and that we
would work together for years to come.
I did not realize straight away that his sudden interest in me was only a preliminary to a greater event: his resolution suddenly collapsed and he subsided into
insanity. The disintegration of his will happened, so it seemed, overnight.
Another glimpse of memory: a terrible confrontation with him in the Great Hall,
when in the boiling rage of his madness he beset me with what he interpreted as
my sacrilegious mystical leanings and physically threw at me the entrails on
which I had been preparing the days labours in the pit, challenging me to consume them while he watched. Impossible, of course. He desperately wanted me
to follow him, but my calling stood like a barrier between us, blocking his sight
of me.
After this confrontation, a hiatus. There was my father gibbering quietly and
in solitude while nurses worked in relays to minister to his needs, while I stood
alone at the gate of the pit, attempting for the first time to thwart the malignant
ones below in the only way I knew, and not doing too well. My fathers death
came as a release for me. Mostly at first it was a release from the guilt that I felt
about our relationship, but in more practical terms his death freed the financial
fruits of the estate. These were now mine to enjoy. Before his decline, while he
yet retained ambitions for me, my father had had the foresight to endow a family
Trust to finance an independent pathology research laboratory in a London clinic.
This act not only revealed to me that in his last months he had come to terms with
what I might be capable of, but also ensured that our familys material wealth,
otherwise so ineffectual against the denizens of the sunken world, could be applied to the production of a steady supply of scientifically reliable epitheliomata.
The first consignment of cancerous bowel growths and malignant intestinal
tumours had arrived at Beckon Abbey within three weeks of my fathers burial.
Thereafter they were delivered at a rate of approximately one package every
ten days. The supply was erratic, both in haruspical suitability and in time of
delivery, but in recent weeks both matters had greatly improved.
All this was mine. My life, my sacrifice, my commitment and dedication. My
father, his father, the generations of the family before us; we had all stood at
the dreadful portal and resisted the earthly incursion of the Old Ones.
Now Tomas Bauer had entered our private hell. He arrived in a bizarre warping
of time and space, stepping out of some unimaginable future, then arrogantly removed my sense of primacy. I watched him as he walked ahead of me. His able
body took him in swift strides up the Long Lawn to the house, while I, the
overweight and physically frail product of a lifetime of poring over books and of
consuming protein-rich foods, was soon a considerable distance behind him and
in a great deal of discomfort. I never ran or exercised, rarely took my body to its
limits. My energies had to be conserved for my work. My only physical activity
was the hasty, frenzied, irregular satisfaction of Patricia Scraggs sexual needs.
Tomas reached the door on this garden side of the house and passed within
as if he had been accustomed to going in and out of my house for all his life.
I was so far behind him that by the time I stumbled up to the door, winded and
dishevelled, he had been inside for two or three minutes. I allowed the door to
slam closed behind me. I leaned against the jamb, coughing helplessly while I
tried unsuccessfully to steady my breathing. I looked
feebly into the vestibule that opened out in this part of the
building. Sweat was streaming down my temples and into
my collar and every inhalation was a painful labour. I
could feel my heart pounding like a fist within my chest
cavity, beating to be released.
Tomas Bauer had already ascended the flight of steps
that led to the upper hallway, from which, after passing
along a wide corridor where most of my familys art treasures were displayed, he would eventually gain access to
the Great Hall and the terrors within. He was standing on
the top step of the flight and Patricia Scragg was with him.
I could not hear his voice, but she was nodding compliantly.
She heard my arrival and glanced down the stairs towards
me. As our eyes briefly met I heard Tomass mentally projected voice:
from now, if you please, Herr Owsley is no longer
The weirdly disembodied voice faded again as she turned
away, like a lighthouse beam sweeping by. I heard her
say, in English, Very well, sir. I understand.
I called up to her, What is it you understand, Mrs
Scragg?
She made no answer, but the newcomer inclined his
head more closely to hers, speaking softly and urgently. As
he did so she turned again to look down the steps in my
direction, a look of conspiratorial attention on her face.
Although the lids of her eyes were suggestively half closed,
the fact that she again turned towards me accidentally
opened up his words through her consciousness.
He was saying, tonight it will change, for I have
ransacked his mind and I know what he is to you, but
now you are mine, if you come to me when I will, I shall
take you as mine, for you are the ravishing prize I have
sought in return for the sacrifice I make in this quest, but
you will be rewarded with such pleasures as you cannot
easily imagine, for I have the power
And on, glibly and pressingly, suggestions and innuendos
and flattering promises. I heard them all until the moment
when at last she looked away from me and the torrent of
intimations was silenced.
I was recovering my wind at last and I began to mount
the stairs.
Patricia, I called. What is he saying to you?
She glanced at me again (his oleaginous insinuations had
temporarily ceased), and she said, Mr Owsley, I must ask
you not to approach!
I am still the master of the house, Patricia, I said. I
want you to accord our visitor every courtesy, but you will
continue to take instructions only from me.
She spoke, but I knew at once that the words were not
hers. She was mouthing them on behalf of Tomas Bauer.
Her voice had taken on a deeper timbre than usual.
She said (Tomas said), You have failed to stem the tide
of evil that flows beneath this mound. Your efforts have
been insufficient to the task. I shall assume responsibility.
You may assist me if you wish, but I should prefer you to
stay away. This is no longer a matter for your family, but
concerns the world. It is my mission to seal the pit forever.
You dont know how! I shouted. You have no experience!
He stared directly at me.
No experience? What then is this? With both of his
strong hands he ripped at the front of his tunic, pulling it
open. The buttons on his shirt followed, and his broad,
hairless chest was revealed. A misshapen, reddened mound
disfigured the area around his left aureole and a grotesquely enlarged nipple drooped horribly. Brown traces of
a stain from some bodily discharge lay on the pale skin
beneath. You, haruspex, have consumed many such tumours. But this one, I say, is upon me and within me and
it is consuming me. What better way is there to know evil
than to have it upon you? And you say I know nothing!
I was, in truth, stunned by his revelation. Tears were
welling in his eyes and his head was shaking uncontrollably, as if with a nervous tic. His chest rose and fell with
his suddenly stertorous breathing. I knew beyond question
that he was not deceiving me. His bared chest made him
vulnerable, piteous, the red carcinomatous flare marking
his flesh like the petals of a burgeoning flower. He was a
man who already stood on the brink of his own hellish pit.
Tomas, I said after a long silence. Would we not be
better co-operating?
I think not. I am here to take your place, Owsley.
I detected, though, a softening of tone, a decrease in his
arrogance.
But surely I indicated his infected chest. How long
can you survive?
Long enough. Or do you propose to eat my entrails too?
I was shocked again, this time by the candour of his reply.
It did mean, as he had claimed, that in addition to placing
words in my mind he could listen back to what I was thinking. I had been unable to suppress my inner excitement
when I saw the rich potential of the tumour he had revealed
on his breast. Doubtless he had sensed that too.
Eventually, I should have to, I admitted. You must
know that, Tomas. You are haruspical too.
Not as you.
You eat human flesh!
Mrs Scragg gasped and turned away from us both.
Tomas grabbed her arm, and spun her around.
To your work, woman! Never mind what methods we
use. I am hungry! I have not eaten in days.
She looked imploringly at me. Mr Owsley, is this right?
Do as he instructs, Patricia.
You concede my mastery, then? cried Tomas, looking
directly at me. Triumph charged his eyes.
Mrs Scragg, prepare the next meal, I said. You may
use the usual ingredients. Places should be laid for two.
We shall dine in the Great Hall.
I noticed she hesitated for a second or two longer. I recalled our usual conversations at this point when we discussed the way in which she was to prepare the pellets,
but I nodded noncommittally at her and she left. Tonight
of all nights I was prepared to let her cook in whatever
way she felt best.
Feeling that a new understanding had been reached with
Tomas Bauer, and even that some sympathy might be
possible between us, I climbed the remainder of the steps
to join him. He had lost interest in me, though, and was
already striding away. Maddened again by his disdainful
behaviour, first seemingly vulnerable, then almost without
warning as overbearing as ever, I at first made to follow
him but immediately decided against it.
Instead, I went downstairs, walked through to the kitchen
to speak quietly to Patricia Scragg, then went to my library.
I closed and locked the door, and with a dread feeling that
Tomas Bauer would inevitably know what I was doing took
out the final volume of my fathers irreplaceable set of haruspical grimoires, written in Latin.
The task of translation, started by his own grandfather
and as yet only partly accomplished, was familiar and necessary, but also unfinishable. I sought only distraction. The
abstruseness of the text never did help me concentrate at
the best of times and on this evening my mind was racing
with feelings of anxiety and conflict. I knew Tomas Bauer
was somewhere in the Abbey, prowling around, investigating every corner of the old building. At odd moments I
could detect his thoughts, and they came at me in distracting bursts of non-sequitur. Fear was coursing through me:
it was almost as if one of the monsters below had at last
broken out of the pit and invaded this continuum of reality.
Tomass intrusion was of that magnitude. Nothing was
going to be the same again.
Unless he died. I could not rid myself of the memory of
his horribly inflamed chest, the cancer bursting through
the flesh and skin. It was surely a terminal ailment? If so,
how long would it be before he became too ill to function?
Was his inexplicable arrival from the future connected
somehow with his illness? From what was he really trying
to escape when he travelled to England? Did he have one
final destiny to fulfil? Was it involved with my haruspical
mysticism, so that, in effect, it was not he himself who
was taking control but the cancer he bore?
Mrs Scragg came hesitantly to the door of the library,
calling my name. I laid aside the precious tome with a sense
of finality and eased open the door. The candle flames bent
to the side of their wicks in the sudden draught from the
corridor, and wax ran in floods down the guttered stems.
The meal is ready, Mr Owsley, she said. Do you still
want me to serve it in the Great Hall?
Yes, I do. I shall have to unlock the door for you.
Sir, thats what concerns me. Our visitor has already
found a way inside.
He is in the hall
alone?
I could do nothing about it. I knew you would be angry.
Very well, Patricia. I am not angry with you. Is the food
ready to be eaten?
As I said.
And you have prepared two portions? She nodded, and
I regarded her thoughtfully. If the meal is still in the kitchen,
let me come with you so that I might inspect it
A voice came: If you are thinking of tampering, Owsley...
Mrs Scragg and I both started with surprise. I know not
what was in her thoughts, but to me it was further proof
that the end of my era as custodian must almost be upon
me. Tomas Bauer had invaded everything and I could not
function like that. The feelings that welled up in me were
a confusion of relief, dismay and anger.
When we reached the kitchen Mrs Scragg took up the
large japanned tray bearing the dishes and we both set off
towards the Great Hall. I scurried before her to push open
and hold each of the doors along the corridors. When we
reached the entrance to the Hall I saw that the reinforced
locks had been burst asunder by main force. I immediately
saw Tomas within, standing in an aggressive manner with
his arms folded and his legs braced, staring at the place
from where the hagioscope viewed the room.
I said quietly to Mrs Scragg, As soon as you have left
the Hall, I want you to collect your personal belongings
and depart the house. Do you understand?
Yes, Mr Owsley.
I suggest you do it as soon as possible. Do not delay for
anything.
When should I return?
I was about to reply that Tomas Bauer would surely let
her know, when his supplanting voice burst into my mind.
Ill call her when and if Im ready! Bring the food!
Let me take the tray, I said to Mrs Scragg. You should
leave at once.
Her gaze briefly met mine. I had never before seen such
a frank, unguarded look from her.
I shouldnt say it, sir, but the best of good fortune to you.
Fortune is not what I want, Patricia, but I thank you for
that. I need strength, and the resolve to stand up to this
man.
Tomas Bauer was moving towards us, so I turned decisively away from her and walked into the main part of the
Hall. Tomas indicated with his hand that I should carry the
tray to the long oaken table, then he stepped close beside
me as I walked nervously across the polished boards of the
floor. I set down the tray and lifted away the chafing
covers. I saw at once that Patricia had done us proud, and
prepared all the most powerful of the pellets. She had
cooked them by the simplest of means, boiling them up
with a selection of garden vegetables into a stew which
would be appetizing were it not for the main ingredient.
Tomas Bauer said in my mind, In spite of what you think,
I am here to salute you, James Owsley. In your country, honour
is for many people a matter of pride, and to others self-sacrifice
is a privilege. Although I have come to replace you,
it is not out of contempt. How may I best show my esteem?
Why can we not work together? I said. This talk of replacing me is inappropriate. You have come at a moment
when I am certain the course of the battle is about to turn.
Look at what lies before us. I gently waved the palm of my
hand above the protein-rich stew that Patricia Scragg had
cooked for us. To work beside me would be the greatest
honour you could pay me.
That would not be possible, Tomas said, and I sensed
a trace of sadness in his tone. Your way is not the right
way. You have to depart.
Can I not even show you of what I am capable? I said.
Let us take our meal into the hagioscope and partake of it
together. Then you will realize how the fiends movements
inside the pit will not only be reversed, but placed so far
back that a final sealing of the pit might conceivably be
possible, and soon.
Tomas replaced the chafing lids on the plates.
Let us indeed visit the hagioscope, he said. But not
for what you propose. I must inspect the pit for myself, try
to comprehend it. I have to set about planning my defence against whatever
it contains.
Once again I found my own ideas and wishes swept aside by his imperious
manner. He thrust one of the covered plates into my hands, then took the other
and walked steadfastly towards the entrance to the squint. I followed, my heart
already beating faster in anticipation of confronting again what I knew was
beyond its narrow confines.
It turned out that although Tomas clearly knew of the existence of the hagioscope, and indeed its approximate position in the wall, he had not worked out
how to gain entrance to it. He made me show him how to operate the concealed
mechanism, then tried it for himself once or twice. With the main panel set to one
side he glanced briefly into the space beyond, before stepping aside to allow me
to enter first. I already knew that there was only enough comfortable space for
one person at a time, so as Tomas squeezed in behind me I was already pressing
myself against the cold stone wall at the back. The aperture that opened to the
pit was at my shoulder and I could hear once again the familiar and disgusting
movements of the beasts below. Inexplicably, they seemed much closer than
ever before. I had spent too much time, too much energy, releasing this man from
the crashing plane. How I regretted that!
Sir, I request you to eat, Tomas said in my mind.
I raised my arms awkwardly, trying to manoeuvre the plate around to a position in which I could take away the chafing cover again, but to do so meant I had
to pass it directly in front of Tomas Bauers face. To my amazement he jerked his
forehead sharply forward, banging the plate in my hand, making it spin away in
the confined space. The pellets, my precious and powerful tumours, burst out
wetly in their gravy and spilled messily down my clothes and on the dark floor.
I smelt Tomass breath, so close was his face to mine. In the wan light that
seeped in from the Hall I could see his face, maniacally grinning.
You will never have to taste your beloved pellets again, Owsley. Your purpose
is more personal. He was still holding his own plate and as he forced his body
round in the cramped space he was able to place the dish on the narrow stone
shelf I had myself been trying to reach. I shall come to those later, if they remain
necessary. First, you must eat, sir, and do so until you are replete!
You have spilled my plate! I cried.
And deliberately!
To my horror, Tomas once again ripped open the fastenings of his shirt and
exposed his diseased chest to me. It was only six inches away from my face. The
efflorescence of his cancerous breast gleamed in the dim light from the Hall. I
madly glimpsed chasing patterns of conflict: life against death, blood pumping
through diseased cells, grisly malignant tendrils reaching out like pollen-laden
anthers to impregnate the as-yet normal flesh that surrounded the deathly bloom.
Neither of us moved, while I regarded this object of allure and repulsion. A
thrill of anticipation was pouring through me like liquid fire.
Tomas raised both his hands and put them behind my head, a gesture that was
partly a restraint, partly a caress. When he spoke next his words had a tender
quality that until this moment I had never heard from him.
I shall if you wish hold you, James. You may take what you will from what
you see.
I have never divined with flesh that is still alive, I said softly, and in awe
of what he was offering me.
Then do so now.
Whether he drew my head forward with his hands or I moved of my own
volition is something I shall never know, but next my teeth had sunk into the
soft flesh of his swollen breast. His strong hands supported my head, while his
fingers sensually stroked my hair. I used my tongue to explore the texture of the
tumour, sensing its preternatural heat, its tenacious grip on its host, the way it
spread like an unfolding corolla. Soon I had found its heart, the pistil, where lay
the passive organs of love and reproduction, and final decay and death.
As Tomas Bauers hands tightened on the back of my head I lunged forward,
my jaw opened wide, my tongue guiding, my teeth easily piercing the thin
wasted skin that still managed somehow to contain the tumour. I bit into the
heart of the cancer. Tomas gasped with pain or passion, and I, sublimely, felt
myself release wetly and sweetly. With the access of intoxicating pleasure, came
the clarity of perception of the little death: Tomas had brought me to this!
His talk of working alone, without me, had never been true! My role was to
release him from death. The thrill of the realization urged me on to abandonment: I buried my face ever deeper into his chest as the ecstasy coursed through
me. The blackness of the malignancy surged forward to take me, seeming to open
up around my eyes like a long dark cylinder, rotating, drawing me through the
all-enveloping abyss of night.
I, haruspex, had entered the darkest entrail of all.
Time went past. Minutes, hours, days, years; none held meaning any longer.
I had moved to a plane where the mere counting of time was irrelevant. I knew
only the gushing flood of death, pumping out around my face, a warm nectar,
blinding me, drawing me down, drowning me.
I could no longer see. I was in terminal darkness and I was leaning on, resting
on, a slope that was nearly vertical. It was warm and fleshly, coated in slime,
lacking anywhere I could obtain a good hold. I felt the terror of what might lie
below me and yearned to climb away from it.
A vertical undulation rippled down the slope, shifting me out and back over the
abyss below. Panic flooded through me. I was starting to slide, so I held on,
paralysed by the abject terror of what would happen to me if my grip weakened.
My hands had become claws, their long tines sinking ineffectually into the slimy
membrane to which I clung. Oblivion was below. I reached forward and up,
trying to gain purchase on the greasy slope. One of my claws felt as if it had found
a firmer place, and, thus encouraged, I shifted my weight below, my doubly
articulated legs stretching and pushing.
I clicked. I moved.
Another peristaltic undulation came heaving down. This time I was dislodged!
I fell, my limbs waving in terror, my unwieldy body curling instinctively into a
defensive hump. Only by great good fortune did one of my claws make fleeting
contact with the membranous wall. I slashed in the claws and held on with all
my strength, and as my body thrashed and collapsed against the scummy gradient I heard others of my kind clicking and clattering with their fright as they too
struggled to hold on.
Their panicky sounds swelled around me, muted by the slime around us, but
echoing brightly off our chitinous carapaces. The being closest to me, clinging on
not far above in the darkness, turned a grotesquely swollen head towards me. Its
two rear legs were raised, their horrid inverted knees braced against each other.
With a violent spasm the legs rubbed together, setting off a shrieking stridulation.
Around us, the other arthropods took up the rasping chorus, the endless braying sermon; I too felt my rear legs twitching unstoppably against each other. My
father, my ancestors, my damned destiny!
By the time the next peristaltic convulsion rolled down towards us I was ready
for it, and rode the attack without losing any more ground. The stridulations
changed pitch as the slimy wall rippled against us. I shuffled my legs, croaking
and belching with the effort, determined never again to fall.
Soon, I started to climb. Beside me, above me, below, the other damned beings
climbed too. Ahead was a glimmer of light, a suggestion of final release from the
pit, an invitation to life. I knew only the urge to escape and climbed grimly on.
With the next surge of peristalsis a torrent of vile fluids washed down from
above, a raging flood of slime and acidic liquid. I held on, while others fell. A
violent contraction shook the wall and a great eructation of gases roared past me,
carrying with it a fine spray of much of the slime. Again, others around me were
dislodged. In my mind I heard their dying fall as at last they entered the abyss.
I resumed my climb, following my father.
I, Haruspex
I, Haruspex
Christopher Priest
The morning of that January day was icy
cold with bright but slanting sunlight, the blue sky lending
an electric radiance to the hoar frost that lay sharply on the
grass and shrubs of the Abbey grounds. Earlier I had taken
a brief walk across the Long Lawn, but the pre-dawn chill
had driven me indoors again after a few minutes. Now I
waited in the draughty main entrance hall of the Abbey,
behind the closed double doors, listening for the sound of
tyres on the gravel drive outside.
The car sent by the solicitor arrived punctually, only a
few seconds after the clock in the stairwell had finished
chiming nine oclock. I snatched the doors open as soon
as I heard the car come to a halt. The frozen air swirled in
and around me.
The simple formality began.
The chauffeur climbed out of the drivers seat, lowering
his head to one side to avoid dislodging his cap, then
straightened his full-buttoned jacket with a jerking motion
at the hem. He stood erect. Without looking in my direction
he walked smartly to the rear compartment of the car, and
held the door open. He stared into the distance. Miss
Wilkins stepped down: a brief vision of silken stockings, a
tight black skirt, glossy shoes, mousquetaire gloves, a discreet
hat with a wide brim and a veil. She was clutching the
small, box-shaped parcel I was expecting.
As she climbed the double flight of steps towards the
main door the chauffeur followed. He stood protectively
behind her as she confronted me. As usual she did not look
directly at me but held out the package for me to take. She
was looking down at the steps, a parody of demureness. Intoxicating
waves of her civet-based perfume drifted across
to me, and I could not suppress a relishing sniff.
I took the package from her, and also the release form that
required my signature, but now I had the parcel in my hands
I was no longer in any hurry. I shook the package beside my
ear, listening to the satisfying, provocative sound of the hard
little pellets rattling around inside. All that potential locked
within! I stared directly at Miss Wilkins, challenging her to
look back at me, but her expression remained frightened
and evasive. She could not leave without my signature on
the release, so naturally I made her wait. I like to see fear in
another persons face, and in spite of her seeming composure, and
her deliberate avoidance of my gaze, Miss Wilkins
could hide her apprehension no better than she could conceal her
youthful allure. She was trembling, a hint of convulsive movement that induced a terrible bodily craving in me.
As usual, she had gone to manifest efforts to make herself
unattractive to me. The jacket and skirt of her suit, made of
heavy, businesslike serge, and of forbidding stiffness, for me
only served to emphasize the hint of feminine ripeness that
lay beneath. The delay I was causing interested me, the fear
in the young woman stimulated me, and her scents were all
but irresistible.
I said softly, Will you enter my house, Miss Wilkins?
Beneath the veil, her steadfast gaze at the ground was
briefly interrupted; I saw her long lashes flicker.
I dare not, she said, in a whisper.
Then
The moment was interrupted by the chauffeur, who
shifted his weight in an impatient, threatening manner.
Please just sign the receipt, Mr Owsley, he said.
I did not mind him intervening, although I resented the
sense of intimidation. He had his job to do; I expected only
that he should do it civilly. I gave the young woman an
appreciative smile for bringing me my pellets, hoping to excite another response, perhaps even a glimpse of her eyes,
but during the many brief visits she had made in the last
few months she had never once looked straight at me. I fussed with my pen, making it seem that it was unexpectedly
dry of ink, but I must have tried this once before in the past.
Miss Wilkins had another pen at the ready, concealed in
her gloved hand, and she moved deftly to provide me with
it. I took it from her, contriving to brush my fingers against
the soft fabric covering the palm of her hand, but once I had
the thing in my hand there were no more excuses for delay.
I signed the receipt for the package, and Miss Wilkins
seized it from me with a fearful sweep of her hand.
There was a momentary unavoidable collision of her
fingers with mine, but she turned back to the steps and at
once hurried down them to the car. The chauffeur strode
beside her. Her last scents briefly swirled around me, and
I darted my face through them, sniffing them up: not
everything of the flesh she exuded was concealed by the
bottled perfume.
I went to the parapet to watch her, again admiring her
silk-clad legs as she climbed elegantly into the rear compartment of the limousine. Although blinds obscured most
of the windows, I could make out her head and shoulders
as she settled back into the seat. I could not fail to notice the
shudder that convulsed her when the chauffeur closed the
door on her. He hurried to his cab, climbed stiffly inside,
and started the engine at once. Neither of them glanced
back at me or the Abbey. Miss Wilkins lowered her face,
brought a folded white handkerchief to her eyes, held it
there.
The silver-grey Bentley Providence swung around the
ornamental sundial, then accelerated down the drive towards the gates. Gravel flew behind it. I could hear the
sound of the tyres long after the car had passed behind St
Matreys Stump and out of my sight.
Aware of the importance to me of the day, Mrs Scragg
had arrived at work early that morning and was already
in the kitchen, waiting for me to bring the pellets to her.
What she did not know was that I had mystical evaluations of the pellets to perform first.
I hurried as quietly as I could to the conservatory at the
far end of the East Wing and locked the connecting door
behind me. I glanced in all directions from the windows
to make sure I was unobserved.
Across the Long Lawn, in the hollow beyond the trees,
morning mist hung in evil shroud above the Beckon
Slough. I stared across at it for a moment, trying to detect
any sign of movement from within the cover of thick
trees. It was a windless day and the mist was persisting
well into the morning, the sunlight as yet too weak to
disperse it. I shivered, knowing that I would soon have to
venture that way.
I was in the cooler part of the conservatory, the one that
faced down towards the Slough. In the normal course
tropical plants could be expected to thrive in a glass
enclosure on the south face of any house in this part of
England, but here on the Beckon Slough side the air was
inexplicably chilly and condensation usually clung to the
panes. No specimens from the equatorial rain forests
would grow in the mysterious dankness, so here were
kept the pots of common ivy, the thick-leaved ficus, the
fatsia japonica in its huge cauldron. Even hardy plants
like these had to struggle to maintain life.
I squatted on the floor beneath the fatsia, first checking
the most basic of facts, that no error had been made and
that the package was appropriately addressed to me: Mr
James Owsley, Beckon Abbey, Beckonfield, Suffolk. Of
course it was correct; who else would receive such a
package? But like everyone else I had my fantasies.
Inside, as I rocked the parcel to and fro, I could feel the
loose movement of the pellets, their deadly weights knocking about in their separate protective compartments. The
medical staff at the Trust had for some reason sealed up
todays consignment more securely than usual, itself an
intriguing augury. I was forced to tear at the stiff brown
sealing tape, accidentally bending back the nail of my
middle finger as I did so. Sucking at it to try to assuage the
pain I got the lid open and shot a glance inside to be certain
as quickly as possible that everything was in order and as
I required.
A faint chemical smell, with its hint of preservatives
masking the truer stench, drifted promisingly around my
nostrils. Beneath it, the darker, headier fragrance of putrid
organics. The muscles of my throat tightened in a gagging
reflex, and I felt the familiar conflict of terror against rapture, both hinting at different kinds of oblivion.
The sixteen compartments on the top layer, four by four,
each contained a pellet, brown-red or grey-pink, the exact
shade indicating to me from which part of the source it had
been removed. Every pellet had undergone primary compression
by the Trust staff, bringing it down to the approximate size
of a large horse-chestnut, but their methods had
not yet become systematized or a matter of routine and the
results were uneven in shape and size. I knew that the
compression was one of the means by which the staff tried
to distance themselves from their work, but I cared only
about the vital essence. Each pellet was the result of individual sacrifice and surgical endeavour.
Satisfied already with the contents of the package, I
pushed my fingers down the sides of the box and with
immense care lifted away the top layer. I placed it gingerly
aside on the stone-flagged conservatory floor. Underneath
was the cartons second level, also arranged four by four,
and here the pellets were less well formed than the ones on
the top, closer in shape to their clinical origins. Rapture and
terror again took hold of me. I touched one of the pellets at
random and found it bewitchingly hard and resilient to my
touch, as if it had been allowed to dehydrate. I picked it up
and pressed it gently beneath my nostril, inhaling its subtle
fragrance. The hardening process had made the release of
its essence more reluctant, but even so I could sense the
death of the person who had grown the pellet for me. I
knew that this pellet had struggled for months in the silent
but unceasing contest of decay, and as a consequence it
was empowered with the ineluctable life-rage of the dying.
I returned the pellet to its tiny compartment, then lifted
aside the second layer. Two more layers were below, also
arranged in sixteen square compartments. All of them
were filled. For once the Trust had sent me not only quality
and diversity, but quantity too. Sixty-four pellets were
more than enough to get me through the week that lay
ahead. A new and surprising sense of optimism surged
through me.
I wondered: could this be the time I had been waiting
for, perhaps? If I regulated my appetites, partook steadily
of the pellets, varied my intake, started with the most
powerful to make up for the unsatisfactory week I had
recently endured, then gradually moderated my intake so
that I used only the grey slices of tissue until I had the pit
under control, then took the rest in a rush, dosing myself
until insensate on the most potent of the reddish ones...?
Could the nightmare reach its hitherto unimaginable end?
This sudden rush of optimism came because I knew my
strength was starting to decline. I could not continue to
struggle alone much longer.
Many aspects of my life were a source of consternation to
me. My father, who as a young man had been employed as
a sin eater in the six parishes in the vicinity of the Abbey,
often spoke of his wish for me to follow his way, while
warning me of the attendant dangers. As he saw me growing up with a greater haruspical power than his own I knew
he realized that I was overtaking him. The conflict of
parental hope against fear helped destroy him, and in his
last years he slumped into hopelessness and melancholy.
In the final twelvemonth of his life his madness took hold
completely and he taunted me with grotesque descriptions
of what befell those who perceived the powers of entrails
in their efforts to control past and future. That I was already
one such was a fact he could never entirely accept. He had
had his own arcane methods; I had mine. It was the duty
and curse of the male line of our family to stand on the
brink of the abyss and repel the incursion from hell. When
he perforce abandoned the struggle, I took his place. I remain in that role, following my ancestors, until someone
else replaces me. There is no alternative, no end to the
struggle.
I was brought out of my reverie by a staccato rapping
sound on the glazed door that led back into the house.
Mrs Scragg was standing beyond it, her hand raised, the
bulging signet ring she had used to rap on the glass glinting in the daylight. I moved my chest and arms around to
shield what I had been doing and quickly returned the
trays of pellets to their carton.
I stood up and unlocked the door.
Mr Owsley, I must speak to
I have obtained some more supplies, as expected, I
said, walking through and closing the conservatory door
behind me. I proffered the parcel of pellets to her. You
know what to do with them. The rest may be kept in the
cold store until later.
Mr Owsley. James...
Yes?
Whatever you instruct, of course, she said. She glanced at the parcel in her hands, and I heard a deep intake
of breath. I am ready for that. Also, should you
Our eyes met and her unspoken meaning was clear. The arrival of the packages
from the Trust often had a disturbing effect on us both, and sometimes, unpredictably to outsiders had they been there to see it, but memorably for us both, alone
together in the house, violent sexual coupling would follow in the minutes after
I received the pellets. Our physical encounters were so spontaneous that they
often occurred wherever we happened to be: once against a bookcase in my
library, another time on the snooker table in the Great Hall, actually beneath the
eye of the hagioscope hidden there.
We rarely alluded explicitly to the darker side of our relationship, so this
mornings invitation from her was a novelty. Normally, we played the roles of
master and servant, she with an undercurrent of resentment I was never quite
sure was genuine or assumed, I with a lofty disdain that sometimes I truly felt,
sometimes I put on for her benefit or mine. It was my place to make the first
move, but today I was full of haruspical hope, not bodily lust.
No, Patricia, I said as gently and quietly as I could. Not today.
Anger briefly flared in her eyes; I knew she hated sexual rejection. But I was
feeling calm and positive, excited by the realization of what the new pellets
would mean for my destiny.
Then allow me to cook for you...sir.
If you would.
Do you have a preference today?
A ragout, I said, having already considered the various choices. Do you
have a suitable recipe?
Mr Owsley, she said. Dont you recall the stew I cooked for you last week?
I do, I said, for it had been a memorable experience. I do not wish you to
try that recipe again.
It was not the method but the ingredients.
But it is the ingredients I must consume, I said. No matter what your
damned method might be, I require the pellets to be appetizingly prepared.
She walked away from me with bad grace.
At times like this I cared little for her feelings, because I knew she was being
well remunerated under the terms of the Trust. The mortgage on her house had
been repaid in full to the loan corporation and invalid John Scragg, her husband
whose health had been ruined during his service in the Great War, was more
comfortable than he could ever once have dreamed of. I was the greatest good
fortune to the family Scragg. In this light the additional pleasures I took with her
were a small price for her to pay. None the less, she continued to resent me. My
father once told me that he and my mother had also had problems with servants,
until they found the remedy.
With the domestic arrangements taken care of for the remainder of the
dayindeed, for the rest of the weekI was determined that my optimistic mood
should not be broken. I felt that if I could not confront the mystery of the
Beckon Slough on a morning like today, then I might never in any conscience
be able to again. I found my warmest coat, and left directly.
The day was bright, icy and shimmering with the promise of deeper winter
weather to come. The frosted grass crunched enticingly under my shoes as I
strode down the slope of the Long Lawn. I knew I was counting on the buoyancy of a passing mood to bear me through the dread of what lay ahead. As I
passed from the blue-white, winter-sunlit slopes of frosted grass close to the
house, and went along the cinder track that led into the dark wood, the cooler
fears of my mystical calling returned. My pace slowed.
Soon the first tendrils of mist were reaching out above my head. Around my
ankles eddies of whiteness dashed like slinking fish. The temperature had
dropped ten or fifteen degrees since I had left the house. Above, in the gaunt
branches of the trees, rooks cawed their melancholy warnings.
The slope was steeper now and where the path lay in permanent shadow the
frozen soil was slippery and treacherous. Brambles grew thickly on each side,
the dormant shoots lying across the path, their buds and thorns already worn
away in several places by my frequent passing.
The Beckon Slough was ahead.
I smelt it before I could see it, a dull stench drifting out with the mist, a dim
reminder of the pellets own putrid reek. Then I could see it, the dark stretch
of mud and water, overgrown with reeds and rushes, and the mosses and fungi
that surrounded it.
Life clung torpidly and uselessly to the shifting impermanence of the bog.
Saplings grew further back around the edge of the marsh, although even here the
ground was too sodden to hold the weight of full-grown trees. The young shoots
never grew to more than twelve or fifteen feet before they tipped horribly into the
muck below. Roots and branches protruded muddily all around the periphery of
the consuming quagmire, along with the sheets of broken ice, slanting up at
crazy angles, broken by the sheer weight of the intrusion from above, the
machine that had descended so catastrophically into the vegetating depths. It
remained in place, an enigma that fate had selected me to unravel.
About a third of the way across the Slough were the remains of the crashing
German aircraft. Now it rested, frozen in time. It was painted in mottled shades
of dark brown and green, and it had made its first shattering impact. It had been
immobilized as it rebounded, rising in plumes of icy spray from the frozen
muck. The planes back had broken, but because the process of disintegration
was still taking place it remained recognizable. A few seconds into the future
the plane would inevitably become a heap of twisted, burning wreckage
amongst the trees, but because it had been immobilized in some fantastic way
it was for the moment apparently whole.
The wing closer to me had broken where it entered the fuselage. It and its engine
would soon cartwheel dangerously into the trees as the terrible stresses of the crash
continued. The propeller of this engine was already broken: it had two blades
instead of three, the missing one apparently trapped somewhere in the mud, but
the spindle was still rotating with sufficient speed that the remaining two blades
were throwing a spray of mud in a soaring vane through the mist above.
The other wing was out of sight, below the surface, its presence evinced by
a swollen bulge of water, about to break out in an explosion of filthy spray.
The perspex panes of the cockpit cover were starred where machine-gun
bullets had left their trail across the upper fuselage. Mud had already sprayed
across what was left of the canopy. Inside, horribly and inexplicably, crouched
the figure of the man who waved to me.
He waved again now.
I stared, I raised one hand. I raised another. Uncertainty froze me. What
would a wave from me mean? What would it imply?
I briefly averted my gaze and lowered my arms, embarrassed by my weakness
of will. When I looked back the man inside the aircraft waved again, pointing up
at the perspex canopy with his other hand.
I had been visiting the scene of this frozen crash for several weeks and by
careful measurement and reckoning had worked out roughly where the planes
final resting place was likely to be. Every day the tableau I saw had moved
forward a few more instants of time, heading for its final surcease. Throughout
the gradual process the man remained in the cockpit, signalling to me. His face
was distorted, but whether it was with pain, or anger, or fear, or all three, I could
not tell. All I knew was that he was imploring me to help him in some way.
But how? And who was he? For some reason he was standing in the cramped
cockpit, not in one of the two seats where the pilot and another crewman
would normally be positioned. I knew he was not one of them, because I could
also see their bodies, strapped into the seats, their heads slumped forward.
The tail of the aircraft was intact, painted dark green with paler speckles, and
bearing a geometrical device that already had such profound terror and significance that I could only stare at it in awe. It was the sign of the swastika, the
broken four-legged cross, once a symbol of prosperity and creativity, Celtic,
Buddhist, Hindu, revered by ancient peoples of all kinds, but recently suborned
by the vile National Socialists in Germany and made a token of suppression,
brutality and tyranny.
It was an aircraft of the German Air Force, the Luftwaffe, the Air Weapon, that
was crashing here. It was rising out of Beckon Slough, immobilized by my
attention to it. Somehow, my interest in it held it here.
Soon, if I were to release it, presumably by inattention, the
plane would conclude its dying fall: the broken wing
would cartwheel into the woods, the fuselage would complete its rebounding lurch into the air before sinking finally
beneath the filthy mud, and the spilling aviation spirit
would explode in a deadly ball of white flame, detonating
the hidden load of bombs that were carried aboard.
But not yet. I had its mysteries to fathom first.
They were focused on the presence of the man who
watched me from the damaged cockpit, signalling desperately to me. But how could I reach him? Did he expect me
to walk across the wreckage, in hazard to myself, to free
him? There was a violent dynamic in the plane: to try to
enter it might embroil me in its destructive end. The only
logical way for me to scramble across to the cockpit
would be along the unbroken wing, but this, as I have
said, was half-submerged in the frozen slime.
I felt no urgency to respond to the mans pleas. Anyway,
there was a larger mystery.
Five weeks earlier I had spotted what I thought must be
a serial number stencilled on the side of the planes fin,
beneath the swastika. I had since spent many hours in my
library, and in correspondence with other scholars and
investigators, some of them abroad, and had established
beyond doubt that such a plane with such a registration
number did not exist! Indeed, the Heinkel company,
whose serial number sequence it turned out to be, was at
present several hundred units short of such a number.
Moreover, it was self-evidently a warplane, apparently
shot down while flying over Britain, and therefore in itself
a riddle. No state of war existed. Peace remained in this
year 1937, fragile and tentative, but peace none the less.
The inexplicable German warplane was moving through
time in diverse directions. Forward, at fractional speed,
into its own oblivion, throwing up the sludge of the marsh
in a fountain of vile spray, killing the occupants, detonating the store of bombs it carried in its bay and felling a
giant swathe of Beckon Wood as it did so.
But it had also moved back through time, perplexingly,
impossibly. Europe was at peace, Chancellor Hitlers
armies of workers, thugs and soldiers were not as yet on
the march, the boot of the tyrant was still at rest within the
borders of the old Reich. The Nazi cry was for lebensraun,
living space for the German race, and a deadly spreading of
the nationalist poison through Europe must inevitably
follow. Total war against Germany might indeed lie somewhere ahead, as the politicians warned, inevitably, devastatingly. As yet, though, in the quiet time in which I lived,
Britain and Germany and much of Europe, clung to peace,
brittle but miraculously persisting.
Out of that future, floating back to its own destructive
destiny in the wood that grew in the grounds of my familys
house, came this German bomber, victim of a machine-gun attack. By British defenders? How could I possibly tell?
But it had fallen into my terrible domain, and consequently
I had inadvertently sealed it in my present, slowing the
plunge into its own final future.
I was a man of certainties: good and bad, order and
chaos, liberty and death. These were my concerns. I cared
not for enigmas, even though this one could exert a deadly
fascination over me.
I could feel the haruspical strength in me waning and
knew I must hurry back to the house for Patricia Scraggs
meal. In recent days a demon in me had sometimes urged
me to delay while I regarded the German bomber. As the
essential power of the pellets fadedmy last meal had
been eaten more than twelve hours beforeso my ability
to halt or reverse time failed in me. I knew that if I were
simply to stand here at the fringe of Beckon Slough for the
rest of the afternoon I would likely see the final destructive
moments of the aircraft enacted before my eyes. The prospect of such a spectacle was an undeniable temptation.
I had other masters, though.
I turned and walked back through the trees towards the
house. At the point where the track curved to the right,
taking me out of sight of the plane, I turned to look back.
The man in the cockpit was waving frantically at me,
apparently urging me not to leave. I pondered his plight
again for a few momentsnothing ever occurred in my
life without mystical significancebut continued on towards the house.
Mrs Scraggs cooking was sufficient, but only just.
Today she had soaked the pellets in a dark brown gravy,
rather lumpy for my taste but otherwise acceptable. She
was employed to provide me with food that gave nourishment, not pleasure. When I had prepared myself in the
Great Hall she brought me the dish under its silver chafing lid, placed it before my seat at the long table and then
hovered expectantly.
Will there be anything else, Mr Owsley?
Not, I think, at present.
A little later, perhaps?
Her gaze was steady, determined. I said, I dont know,
Patricia. I have to work. If you could stay late this evening,
maybe when I have finished...?
Again, I knew I was hurtfully rejecting an overt offer,
but now she had laid the pellets before me I was single-minded, as she must have known.
Whatever pleases you, sir.
She left. I followed her to the double doors, trying to
seem courteous, and closed them behind her.
I listened for the sound of her steps receding along the
uncarpeted corridor, then I locked the doors and bolted
them top and bottom. I gave them a forceful testing shake
to be certain they were securely closed against her or anyone else who tried to interrupt what I was about to do. I
put in place my secret anti-tamper seals, then returned to
the dish waiting for me at the table.
I quickly removed the chafing cover and seasoned the
food with several vigorous shakes of the pepper pot, and
three long scoops with the knife into the mustard jar. With
one last glance behind me to make certain I was not being
observed I picked up the plate, dropped a knife and fork
into my breast pocket, and went to the raised dais at the
gallery end of the Hall. I worked the mechanism of the concealed door in the panelling of the wall and passed through
into the hagioscope that lay behind. I took up my position.
From here I was afforded a double view: the cell was a
squint, to use the term that the original masons themselves
would have employed. On one side of me, through a slit
cunningly contrived in the stone wall and the wooden
panelling was a narrow, restricted view back into the Great
Hall I had left moments before. It was only through this
narrow aperture that the dim ambient light inside the hagioscope arose. On the other side, through a much larger gap,
a mere turn of the head away, was a glimpse into hell.
There was no light down there, in the great abyss lying
beneath the Abbey. I could see nothing in the impenetrable
black, nor was I intended to see. Whatever inhabited that
sunken void required no light to give itself life. It, they,
existed in a dark of such profundity that all human feeling
or emotion was extinguished too. However, my presence
in the hagioscope enabled me, Janus-like, to sit at the gateway between past and present, guarding the way. Behind
me, the present world; before me, the denizens of an ancient past and a deplorable future. I was suspended in time,
like the dying aircraft that even now was arrested in the
mire of Beckon Slough.
I was still cradling the plate of cooked meat. I knew that it
was cooling quickly. Difficult to eat even when hot and
freshly served, the pellets were nauseating if they were
allowed to cool down. I retrieved the knife and fork from my
pocket and began to eat the ragout as quickly as possible.
With Mrs Scraggs artful culinary techniques, and the
more brutal coverings of spices I had latterly applied, the
food was just about edible. Even so, it required an inhuman will to be able to put the pellets in my mouth.
Instinctively, for there were still vestiges of the human in
me, I looked first for the smaller pieces, the ones most
likely to have had their fibres cooked down into masticable form, or the ones which would yield easiest to the
knife, or the ones which I could see had received the
greatest share of the pepper. While I chewed steadily
through the stuff, feeling the sense of evil power growing
in me, I tried to distract myself with childish mnemonicsold
nursery rhymes, playground chantsin a vain
attempt to postpone the imminent confrontation, distract
myself not only from the knowledge of what I was putting
into my mouth, but also from the growing malignity that
took shape whenever I ate.
I could unerringly sense the fiends of the nether world,
rousing themselves for our fray, in the same way as I had
to relish the rubbery gristle of the pellets and the vile
flavours of death that were released with their juices.
Even so, I could take comfort from the consequence of
the grotesque meal. I had the transcendent knowledge that
time was being reversed by my actions, that evil was being
repulsed and that the lurkers of the pit were being held
back. On the colossal scale of the vasty death-universe, the
delay was breathtakingly short, but enough, enough, all I
could do. I alone, haruspex against evil.
Continuing life was my reward; life denied would be
my punishment.
As I worked the meat between my jaws I began to sense
action and reaction below. I heard discarnate screams,
the fury of the frustrated malignity of evil embodied, of
the dashing of whatever hopes such monstrous skulkers
could entertain, as their slow attempts to claw their way
up and out of the pit towards the surface of the world
were suddenly thwarted. Most of the meal would be used
up pushing them back down to the level at which I had
left them the day before, but with this new potency I
believed there would be enough energy to force larger
reversals on them. I chewed steadily, drawing every iota
of flavour from the pellets, returning the beings whence
they had come. Every time I swallowed I felt the peristaltic thrust of my oesophagus, forcing down the meat. My
minds eye glimpsed in fitful bursts the outlines of their
noisome forms as they surrendered to the release of the
death-force I was sucking from the pellets.
Their calling threats, echoing hoarsely around the slime-caked walls of the pit, gave aural shape to their forms!
They were low, flat, many-legged beings, each forelimb
and hindlimb jointed at horrible double knees, like immense
arthropods. Their limbs extruded to small claws, with
which they flailed at the rubbery walls, trying to gain purchase. Each one of the beings was more than two yards in
length, far too large for reason! I shuddered to perceive
them! Their heads, sunk low towards the part that could
only be the abdomen, were wreathed in cilia, flailing as the
angry brows swung from side to side. They had deep mandibles, their maws perpetually slack-jawed and drooling,
emitting their beastly howls of anger, vengeance and threat.
And the rattling! How they clattered! Some large part of
their arthropodic bodies was chitinous, perhaps a loosely
connected cuticle or carapace, so that each thrusting step
produced a loud, ghastly clicking as they moved their ill-formed frames. It was the cacophony of sticks, of staves
flailed against each other, of bones breaking in a yard.
And their relentless, ineluctable climbing would bring
them, if not halted or at least given pause, into the world of
men, women and children. I and only I stood before these
denizens of the pit, barring their way, reversing their quest
for escape.
Into this, my long-suffered private world of struggle with
stasis, had come by some freakish chance a modern-day
intrusion. It was itself as baffling as the creeping horrors I
was doomed to obstruct. Somehow, from a militarized
future that was conceivable only to a few, had appeared a
German warplane. This, shot down and crashing into the
Beckon Slough, had become frozen by the same distortions
of time that I, haruspical mystic, used to repel the underworld invaders. What was the link?
Because I could never see the dwellers of the world beneath me, inevitably I often wondered whether my loathsome toil might be the product of delusion. Only I, aberrant
haruspex from an ancient family of mystics, scholars, clairvoyants, contemplatives, could deal with the threat they
presented, but equally it was only my family who had
divined their presence.
The crashing German warplane was the first evidence of
third-party recognition, incomprehensible though it might
be. The plane must have come to Beckon Abbey either
because I was in it, or because the pit was to be found
beneath it. Now, whether or not this was the intention, it
was held frozen in time not unlike the way the repugnant
dwellers of the pit were halted.
Furthermore, I knew, as I chewed stoically on the pellets,
that not only were the malignant beasts being forced back
into their abyss, so the warplane too would at this moment be inching back in
time, plotting a reversal of its catastrophic arrival. First it would sink briefly but
necessarily into the mud, where its broken components would start to reassemble, then there would come an abrupt and cataclysmic reverse lifting out of
the mud, and it would begin the long backwards tracing of its crash from the sky.
Seven days before, while cheerlessly consuming the pellets of last weeks
inferior consignment, I had found entirely by chance a uniquely potent
example. In devouring it I recognized that the disturbing potency within was
having a powerful effect on the arthropodous horrors inside the pit. The
moment the eating ritual had been completed I rushed down to the Slough to
see for myself. I found I had managed to reverse the bombers path so far that
the doomed machine was actually hovering briefly in the air above the mire,
returning for an inert instant to its role as a dweller of the skies. Both of its
propellers were intact at this moment before final impact (and to my perception
slowly turning), but from the nacelle of the engine on my side was streaming
some kind of transparent liquid, presumably the fuel, and behind that a searing
whiteness of flame, and flowing behind that was a long trail of black smoke.
This traced the aircrafts final path: an almost straight line backwards and up
at an angle of some forty-five degrees to the horizontal, past the treetops, into
the blue sky, into the unseen flying formation of its fellow bombers, and, for
all I knew, back thence into the heart of the German nation.
It was this action of mine that had alerted the man in the cockpit. He had been
invisible to me until that day, presumably crouching or lying on the floor, but
in some amazing way he had become aware of my actions. Ever since then, his
signalling for help had been distraught and constant.
As the days passed, and I eked out my supply of pellets, the Heinkel had
gradually returned to its inexorable collision with the bog, while the man
within gestured towards me with increasing consternation. Soon the plane had
reached the position in which I had seen it this morning, not more than a
second or two from its final destruction.
For the first time I had a kind of yardstick to judge my progress. It had seemed
to me until today that if I allowed the aircraft to continue on into oblivion the
other struggle too would end, but in that case with the catastrophic escape of
the horrors into the world. This was the true significance to me of the new
consignment of pellets.
I was saving the largest, juiciest, most deadly pellet to last. Earlier in the meal,
as I began eating, I had sensuously stroked the cutting edge of my knife across
it and nothing of its sinewy texture had succumbed. It was tough, perfectly
shaped! A streak of gristle, unreduced by Mrs Scraggs cooking, ran through it
from side to side. When I finally took the pellet into my mouth, whole, as it had
been found, it was the gristle that produced the tensile strength. It stayed stubbornly in my mouth, distending and bulging while I chewed, but retaining its
overall shape. Juices in it were nevertheless released, and as I worked horribly
at my task I could taste their exotic menace as they flowed over my tongue.
The final pellet at last produced a reaction from one of my enemies lurking
in the dark. In my mind, a dread familiar voice:
Owsley, Owsley, abandon this work and surrender to the pit!
Leave me! I cried aloud.
You can never prevail, came the mentally perceived tones of my accuser.
Flesh is weak, life is short, we are forever! Tighten your gut muscles, Owsley!
I shall not!
Do you not feel the nausea creeping within you? Do you not taste the fleshly
residues of what you have consumed? Are they not churning within you,
indigestible, disgusting, sickening, wrenching your gut into coils of vomitory?
Puke up the cancers, Owsley! Vomit them up!
I lurched back from the gap that led to hell. I could hardly breathe and nausea
had me in its grip. If I stayed where I was I would doubtless spew up everything
I had eaten, as often before I had found myself doing. But if I did eject the half-digested tumours all my work would be undone. This my hellish interlocutor
knew full well. He came for me on most days, but always when my haruspical
work was being most effective. If I were to vomit up the epitheliomata of the
meal I would lose almost everything I had just achieved.
So I retreated. The only way I could ignore the terrible voice was to leave the
hagioscope, and this I did.
Once I had regained the comparative normality of the Great Hall, it was not
difficult to regain control over the feelings of nausea. After I had taken several
deep breaths I made sure that the concealed door had closed firmly behind me,
and also that no one had entered the Great Hall while I had been in the hagioscope. I lit a candle and hurried to the main door to check the locks, then
examined my secretly placed seals, a disturbance to which would reveal if someone had tried to force their way in. Of course, only Mrs Scragg was generally with
me at the house, and she could probably be trusted, but the way time was dilated
by my struggles inside the hagioscope meant I had to be sure. Hours of subjective
time could pass imperceptibly, because my own sense of it was as distorted by
the ingestion of the cancers as was that of the devilish creatures I was repulsing.
Now it had become night and the Hall was in darkness. I remembered my half-promise of an assignation with Patricia Scragg when I had completed my work,
but there was no sign of her. She normally left the Abbey halfway through the
afternoon, and today would probably not be prepared to face what might be a
third rejection.
Thoughts of her were distracting me. The important matter was that the pit
was secure again, or reasonably so, and would remain in that condition until
the next day at least. If the new intestinal epithelial pellets were as powerful as
I suspected, it was even possible that another visit to the squint might not be
necessary until the day after.
I moved swiftly around the Great Hall, lighting more candles, pulling the blinds
across the tall windows, blocking out the night, the glimpse of the moon and the
stars, but most of all the white ground-mist that moved in across the valley at this
time of the year, to lie like a winding-sheet across the grounds of the Abbey.
After I had checked once more that the door to the hagioscope was sealed, I
went through the gloomy corridors to the domestic wing of the house, returning
my platter, glass and cutlery to the scullery. Of Mrs Scragg there was still no sign.
I left everything by the sink, then ascended to my apartment on the second floor.
I stripped off all my clothes (as usual at this time of day they were sodden with
old sweat and the seams scuffed uncomfortably against my flesh), and immersed
myself in a bath of hot water.
When I went into my chamber afterwards, Patricia Scragg was there. She had
lit my paraffin lamps and was waiting by the side of my bed, naked but for the
sheet she held against her body. I glared at her, resenting her persistence, but
even so unable to deny the animal lusts she aroused in me. She lowered the
sheet so that I might gaze at her body. I relished the sight of her tired face, her
pale heavy thighs, her dimpled elbows and knees, the girdle of fat about her
waist, her large drooping breasts, the pasture of black curling bristle at the
junction of her legs where soon I would gladly graze. I placed my hands on her
shoulders, then ran my tongue down her face and body, pausing to nuzzle on
her heavy breasts with their tiny but tempting lumps of hard fibre buried deep
within. I pushed her down on the bed and quickly serviced her, thrusting with
greedy passion at her ample body.
I was exhausted afterwards, but my need to study was constant, so leaving
Patricia Scragg to make her own way out of the house I pulled on my reading
gown. With tremendous weariness of tread I went up to the next floor to the
library. Here I took down several volumes of psychology: on the meaning of
revenge, of fear, of repulsion. I glanced through them drowsily in the inadequate
lamplight for half an hour. My books were the sole comfort of my life, but so
drained was I by the encounter in the hagioscope, and by satisfying Patricia
Scraggs agitated sexual needs, that I found it impossible to concentrate.
Later I returned to my chamber and slept.
In the morning I discovered a singular fact: part of one of the pellets from the
day before had been packed between two of my lower back teeth and was still
firmly in place. Neither pushing at it with my tongue nor scraping with a
fingernail could dislodge it. When I had dressed I took a
match, broke off the head to make a tiny jagged spear, and
tried to pick out the compacted meat with that. Again, no
success, but I did finally manage to shift it far enough to
release some of the juices that by some marvel it still contained. They trickled across my taste buds.
Twelve minutes flashed by in a subjective moment! I
checked the lapse of time, then returned the watch to my
waistcoat pocket, still only half-believing that the act of
consuming necrotic flesh should have such a potent effect
on my mind. No matter how frequently the time distortion
occurred it invariably astonished me.
I realized I was entering a familiar state of mind, in which
starkest gloom jostled with boundless optimism. I therefore decided to measure the effect of the pellets I had eaten
the previous day. Since it had obtruded itself into my life,
the German bomber had come to signify a kind of yardstick
of temporal motion. Its advances and reverses were a guide
to the progress of the main conflict. Now that I had realized
this connection it made no sense to subject myself needlessly to the torments of the pit. I could gain the reassurance I sought with much less risk to my sanity.
It was raining when I left the house and the crisp frosts
of the previous few days were no more. The sloping sward
of the Long Lawn was already sodden in its lower reaches.
I was glad to reach the cinder path that led into the trees.
The Slough, when I came to it, lay undisturbed, the
surface calm and untrammelled, apart from the constant
patterns of overlapping circles made by the rain on the
few stretches of clear water. Above the muddy water, a
precious few inches above it, lay the plummeting body of
the doomed warplane. At once my spirits lifted! The
latent power of the pellets now in my possession was
beyond doubt.
In the latest manifestation, the aircraft was more or less
physically intact, not counting the visible damage the
machine-gun rounds had caused to the cockpit cover and
engine cowling. Both wings were attached, and although
the spilling fuel, the blazing fire and the black smoke
streamed back from the engine, it was possible to see it as
still a fighting plane, not a broken wreck.
The tip of the wing closer to methe one that I knew
within a second or two of real time would break off
catastrophically as the plane ploughed into the mudwas
only two or three inches from the solid ground on
which I stood.
A single session in the hagioscope, and this! One meal
of the new pellets! Fifty or sixty more such pieces still to
come!
Was it at last the final stage of the bitter struggle against
the chaos of the pit?
Then, immediately banishing the heady optimism, a voice
said in my mind, Get me out of here!
It was the same voice as that familiar, loathsome cry
from the heart of the pit. My first thought: It cannot be!
Had the monster found a way to track me beyond the
hagioscope, away from the house, to here?
It came again, more urgently, I am about to perish! I
implore you! The canopy is jammed! Cant you do something?
I realized that it was the helmeted figure who stood in
the cockpit. His face was pressed desperately against the
perspex panes of the cockpit cover and both of his arms
were reaching up, struggling to release the catches that
held it in place. His movements were frenzied, panicky.
I cant help you! I shouted at him.
Yes you can! Find something with which to release
me. I beg you! Save me from this!
What are you? I cried. Who are you? What do you
want?
I am an emissary from the future.
I am strong with mysticism, not with physical or muscular development. The predicament of the man on the
aircraft wrenched at me, but it was not in my power to
assist him. He wanted me to wrestle with the jammed
cockpit cover? Or to try to cut my way through the metal
side of the fuselage? I regarded him across the short
distance that separated us. He was locked in a time and
destiny of his own, an alien intruder, subject to the will of
a universe fundamentally different from mine.
His voice came at me repeatedly, a sane but desperate
plea for help. Wondering what if anything I could do, I
stood there regarding him, playing at the soreness of my
gum with the tip of my tongue, fretting at the piece of
pellet that had become lodged in my teeth the day before.
It seemed to have worked a little more loose since waking
this morning, and when I sucked at it I distinctly felt it
shift. Still watching the man in the aircraft I picked at the
fragment of meat with the nail of my ring finger, and in a
moment it was out. The familiar essence lifted like gas
against my taste sensors.
The plane moved back.
You are who I am seeking! the voice cried in my mind.
You are Owsley!
I am.
I recoiled with shock from the discovery that he knew
my name!
And you are haruspical! he called.
I am.
Now he stood erect, abandoning his panicky efforts to release the cockpit cover. His demeanour was strangely calm.
You must release me if you can. You doubtless know why.
I believe I do, I said, responding to the composure that
had come over him and which was also now surrounding
me. But there are questions
None matters!
How did you?
Owsley, be silent! His mood had abruptly changed
again. Release me from this aircraft! Then perhaps we
might have reasons to converse.
Disliking the authoritative tone, yet even so respecting it,
I turned away from him and followed the long path back in
the direction of the Abbey. I looked around me as I walked,
hoping to spot something hard and heavy and made of
metal. Nothing offered itself as suitable. When I entered
the house I noticed at once from the clock in the stairwell
that more time had fled while the pellet juices flowed in my
mouth. It was already past noon and as I went along the
ground floor corridors I glimpsed Mrs Scragg pacing impatiently
in the short passage outside the kitchen. Fortunately,
she happened to have her back towards me at that
moment, so I was able to pass unseen beyond her.
In the utility room, after a search, I found a long steel spanner or wrench, I knew not which, apparently left behind by
a workman at some time in the past. I assumed it would be
sufficient for the task of breaking through the thick perspex, but my skills, as I say, are not those of the physical
body. As I carried the heavy implement back down the
lawns towards Beckon Wood I felt self-conscious with it
and knew that it hung at an unnatural angle in my grasp.
The weather was still cold and unpleasant: it was raining
persistently and the damp twigs on the drooping branches
of the trees brushed against my face and hair. As I followed
the bend in the path and again saw Beckon Slough, I raised
the spanner in my hand. Holding it before me I strode
across the muddy ground to the site of the wreck.
The man remained standing within the cockpit, calm
and poised, awaiting my return. I went to where the tip of
the wing hovered a few inches above the muddy ground.
While you were gone, the man said, in my mind, I
was trying to establish how best to force the canopy.
Dont you know already? I said, facing him.
Why should I?
You are a member of the Air Force, are you not? The
German Luftwaffe?
My mind seemed to laugh mockingly. I, an aviator? I
have never before been inside such a thing. I am a man of
learning and of the spirit, as you.
Who are you?
My name is Tomas Bauer. You, I know, are James Owsley. Amazement stirred again in me, but at once the man
added, Of course, you are the one I have travelled to find.
Since the death of my father I had known that I was
upholding a tradition, one that I had to honour, and one
which eventually I should have to pass on to another. I
had expected, though, that such release would not come
for many years or decades. Tomas Bauers words, and the
mystical circumstances of his arrival, informed me that
the moment had come. Waves of relief, excitement and a
distinct tremor of fear passed through me.
However, the immediate problem remained of what to
do to release Tomas Bauer from the aircraft. I was still
holding the spanner aloft, but the feeling of foolish physical ineptitude was still paralysing me.
I heard in my mind, James Owsley, you must do as I
direct. No more words!
I tried to assent, but it was as if a sponge flooded with
chloroform had been pressed irresistibly over my mind,
making it insensible. I felt myself propelled forward, raising my right foot like an automaton to step on the very tip
of the wing itself. It took my weight, without dipping. I
stepped forward and walked across the curved upper surface of the wing towards the bullet-riven cockpit. When I
reached the curved housing of the engine I had to scramble
over the hot metal case, carefully not placing any part of
my body in the dangerous stream of escaping fuel. The
propeller, still turning slowly a few inches away from me
as I passed, set up a torrent of forced air behind it, neither
to my perception moving nor turbulent but somehow compressed
by the rotation of the airscrew.
Then I was against the side of the cockpit cover itself,
looking in at the man who had taken control of my mind.
Tomas had removed his leather helmet and I could see his
features clearly. He was a young man, tall and ruggedly
built, with a shock of blond hair and a sturdily jutting jaw.
He stared at me with an intent frown, exercising his mental will against mine.
There was a part of the transparent canopy where two
panels of it overlaid each other, apparently the place where
the two halves joined after the front part had been slid forward and locked in position. Tomas directed me towards
it. I slipped the edge of the spanner against what crack I
could see, then heaved at it with all my might, trying to use
it as a lever.
When the thick perspex did not shift I felt my arms swing
backwards, raising the spanner above my head. I brought
it down with a tremendous blow, one far more heavy than
anything I would have believed myself capable before
now. The cockpit cover shattered at once, a large star-shaped hole appearing in the flattened top. Three more
blows forced an irregular aperture large enough for a man
to escape through.
I reached down and held Tomass arms as he found footholds in the cramped cockpit and pushed himself up and
through to freedom. As he clambered around I could not
help looking down and past him, to where I could see the
bodies of the two German aviators. The one in the left-hand
seat had clearly suffered a direct hit from a bullet, because a
large part of his helmet and skull had been broken away. He
was slumped against his dashboard of instruments. I could
see a bulge of blood rising through the gap in his head and
knew it soon to be a fountaining gout to join the soak of
blood that already covered his flying suit. From this evidence of a pumping heart I realized that the pilot must be, in
a way, still alive. The other aviator, who outwardly appeared uninjured, although my view of him was restricted, also
was leaning forward with his face against the instruments.
His body was broken in some horrible way I shrank from
trying to imagine. I had to assume he was dead or unconscious, even though there were no apparent wounds on him.
While I was regarding this disagreeable sight with a
sense of increasing horror, Tomas had climbed swiftly
out of the cockpit and was standing on the wing beside
me. He tugged at my arm, swinging me round.
We leave, he said peremptorily. These were the first
words he had so far uttered while I had a clear sight of his
face. As I hastened to follow him, down the wing and
through the turbulent stream of compressed air behind
the propeller, I realized that the words I was hearing in
my mind were not the same as those forming in his
mouth. The words did not move with his lips.
As I thought about this, he instantly replied, I speak in
German. You will hear, I believe, English. It is the same
for me, in reverse. It is best, I think.
He jumped down from the wing. After a few uncertain
steps on the muddy bank of the Slough he strode off along
the cinder pathway. His long black coat swung in the air
behind him. Now he was freed from the aircraft he was
walking with easy, powerful grace, like an athlete. From
his gait I would not have credited that he was haruspical:
others of my calling that I had met were, like me, small in
stature, bookish, introspective, timid in all matters that
required strenuous activity. Tomas had implied that he was no better
equipped to contend with problems of the physical worldotherwise,
surely, he could have escaped from that plane without my help?but
even so nature had apparently blessed him with a strong and agile body.
When we reached the part of the path where I normally struck up the Long
Lawn towards the house, Tomas Bauer came to a halt. He turned towards me
as I caught up with him. The dark shape of the Abbey, squatting on the brow
of Beckon Hill, loomed up behind him. He extended a hand of friendship
towards me.
I thank you James Owsley, he said, and now that I was only a few inches
away from him I found distracting the dissonance there was between the words
I heard and the movements of his lips. To you I owe my life.
Why were you on the aircraft? I said. It makes no sense to me. Where was
the aircraft going and who sent it? How was it shot down? How did you contrive
it to crash on my property? What?
He held up the palms of his hands to silence me.
Nor does it make sense to me, he said. I was in Germany, you are in
England. The war was running its course and I could find no other way to reach
England
To which war do you refer?
The war between our two countries, of course.
There is no war, I said. True, there are portents, but the German Chancellor
would not be so insane
He is mad enough, said Tomas. You can be sure of that. In my time his
madness has led to a war that is engulfing most of Europe. It is irrelevant to the
greater struggle, the one in which you and I engage, but there is no avoiding it
for practical matters. I was effectively trapped in my homeland, while my true
work was here. The German army is poised to invade England
But this is fantasy! I cried.
To you it might seem so. But I speak of what is a grim reality of the time in
which I live. Four, maybe five years from this moment. Madness? Yes it is!
Engines of war are turning, but they are not such deadly machineries as the
ones you and I face. We confront a larger madness, a virulent incursion whose
terrors would dwarf in significance a mere military conquest by one nation of
another. You reside above the pit of hell and its denizens seek release. The portents have been written in texts since the dawn, of time. I have studied many
such texts and so, I know, have you. Our task is beyond history! War, pestilence, genocide, famine...these are trivial concerns, compared with what we
confront! I had no alternative: I had to escape to England to be with you. After
much doubt I came to the conclusion that the only way was to travel with one
of the planes that was flying to bomb your English towns. I knew there would
be risks, but in my desperation I saw no alternative.
You raise more questions than you answer, I said.
And I have told you they are of no account. I am here; that is sufficient. Are
we at last to unite and engage together in our struggle against the creatures of
the pit?
In my life there is no other concern, I said.
Nor in mine. So we must address ourselves to it.
He turned from me and strode purposefully up the lawn towards the Abbey.
Once again I found myself following in his wake. His manner was decisive,
arrogant, imperious. He behaved as if I had been merely caretaking the house
until the moment of his arrival. As I trotted behind him, already furious with
myself for allowing him to dominate me, flashing memories of the years I had
endured alone were shining in my mind, almost dazzling me. Was Tomas
Bauer somehow projecting them at me?
No matter the source: I could not ignore them. I remembered the first time my
father took me into the squint, so that I might experience the raw evil of the pits
emanations and truly learn what it would mean to follow him there. He thrust
my face against the opening so that I had to stare down into the merciless
darkness, and while he held me with his knee against the small of my back he began
an endless braying sermon. His leg moved up and down against me, his yelling
voice becoming a terrifying stridulation. It was a new and stunning insight into
my father. When I managed to free myself and struggle round to face him in the
confined space of the hagioscope, he was looming over me, lit from all sides by
the candles that guttered from every crevice in the rock walls. He bellowed his
ranting, maniacal entreaties into the pit, swaying horribly from side to side, a
Bible held aloft in one hand, a glistering golden crucifix in the other.
I also could not forget the physical aftereffect that the first experience had on
me: the long hours that followed while I retched disconsolately into the pewter
bowl beside my bed, a purging that was a making-ready of my body for the fray
that on some dark level it must have known would be coming. Then there were
those few precious weeks when my father allowed me to work alongside him,
and when I, in my naïvete, had believed he was encouraging me and that we
would work together for years to come.
I did not realize straight away that his sudden interest in me was only a preliminary to a greater event: his resolution suddenly collapsed and he subsided into
insanity. The disintegration of his will happened, so it seemed, overnight.
Another glimpse of memory: a terrible confrontation with him in the Great Hall,
when in the boiling rage of his madness he beset me with what he interpreted as
my sacrilegious mystical leanings and physically threw at me the entrails on
which I had been preparing the days labours in the pit, challenging me to consume them while he watched. Impossible, of course. He desperately wanted me
to follow him, but my calling stood like a barrier between us, blocking his sight
of me.
After this confrontation, a hiatus. There was my father gibbering quietly and
in solitude while nurses worked in relays to minister to his needs, while I stood
alone at the gate of the pit, attempting for the first time to thwart the malignant
ones below in the only way I knew, and not doing too well. My fathers death
came as a release for me. Mostly at first it was a release from the guilt that I felt
about our relationship, but in more practical terms his death freed the financial
fruits of the estate. These were now mine to enjoy. Before his decline, while he
yet retained ambitions for me, my father had had the foresight to endow a family
Trust to finance an independent pathology research laboratory in a London clinic.
This act not only revealed to me that in his last months he had come to terms with
what I might be capable of, but also ensured that our familys material wealth,
otherwise so ineffectual against the denizens of the sunken world, could be applied to the production of a steady supply of scientifically reliable epitheliomata.
The first consignment of cancerous bowel growths and malignant intestinal
tumours had arrived at Beckon Abbey within three weeks of my fathers burial.
Thereafter they were delivered at a rate of approximately one package every
ten days. The supply was erratic, both in haruspical suitability and in time of
delivery, but in recent weeks both matters had greatly improved.
All this was mine. My life, my sacrifice, my commitment and dedication. My
father, his father, the generations of the family before us; we had all stood at
the dreadful portal and resisted the earthly incursion of the Old Ones.
Now Tomas Bauer had entered our private hell. He arrived in a bizarre warping
of time and space, stepping out of some unimaginable future, then arrogantly removed my sense of primacy. I watched him as he walked ahead of me. His able
body took him in swift strides up the Long Lawn to the house, while I, the
overweight and physically frail product of a lifetime of poring over books and of
consuming protein-rich foods, was soon a considerable distance behind him and
in a great deal of discomfort. I never ran or exercised, rarely took my body to its
limits. My energies had to be conserved for my work. My only physical activity
was the hasty, frenzied, irregular satisfaction of Patricia Scraggs sexual needs.
Tomas reached the door on this garden side of the house and passed within
as if he had been accustomed to going in and out of my house for all his life.
I was so far behind him that by the time I stumbled up to the door, winded and
dishevelled, he had been inside for two or three minutes. I allowed the door to
slam closed behind me. I leaned against the jamb, coughing helplessly while I
tried unsuccessfully to steady my breathing. I looked
feebly into the vestibule that opened out in this part of the
building. Sweat was streaming down my temples and into
my collar and every inhalation was a painful labour. I
could feel my heart pounding like a fist within my chest
cavity, beating to be released.
Tomas Bauer had already ascended the flight of steps
that led to the upper hallway, from which, after passing
along a wide corridor where most of my familys art treasures were displayed, he would eventually gain access to
the Great Hall and the terrors within. He was standing on
the top step of the flight and Patricia Scragg was with him.
I could not hear his voice, but she was nodding compliantly.
She heard my arrival and glanced down the stairs towards
me. As our eyes briefly met I heard Tomass mentally projected voice:
from now, if you please, Herr Owsley is no longer
The weirdly disembodied voice faded again as she turned
away, like a lighthouse beam sweeping by. I heard her
say, in English, Very well, sir. I understand.
I called up to her, What is it you understand, Mrs
Scragg?
She made no answer, but the newcomer inclined his
head more closely to hers, speaking softly and urgently. As
he did so she turned again to look down the steps in my
direction, a look of conspiratorial attention on her face.
Although the lids of her eyes were suggestively half closed,
the fact that she again turned towards me accidentally
opened up his words through her consciousness.
He was saying, tonight it will change, for I have
ransacked his mind and I know what he is to you, but
now you are mine, if you come to me when I will, I shall
take you as mine, for you are the ravishing prize I have
sought in return for the sacrifice I make in this quest, but
you will be rewarded with such pleasures as you cannot
easily imagine, for I have the power
And on, glibly and pressingly, suggestions and innuendos
and flattering promises. I heard them all until the moment
when at last she looked away from me and the torrent of
intimations was silenced.
I was recovering my wind at last and I began to mount
the stairs.
Patricia, I called. What is he saying to you?
She glanced at me again (his oleaginous insinuations had
temporarily ceased), and she said, Mr Owsley, I must ask
you not to approach!
I am still the master of the house, Patricia, I said. I
want you to accord our visitor every courtesy, but you will
continue to take instructions only from me.
She spoke, but I knew at once that the words were not
hers. She was mouthing them on behalf of Tomas Bauer.
Her voice had taken on a deeper timbre than usual.
She said (Tomas said), You have failed to stem the tide
of evil that flows beneath this mound. Your efforts have
been insufficient to the task. I shall assume responsibility.
You may assist me if you wish, but I should prefer you to
stay away. This is no longer a matter for your family, but
concerns the world. It is my mission to seal the pit forever.
You dont know how! I shouted. You have no experience!
He stared directly at me.
No experience? What then is this? With both of his
strong hands he ripped at the front of his tunic, pulling it
open. The buttons on his shirt followed, and his broad,
hairless chest was revealed. A misshapen, reddened mound
disfigured the area around his left aureole and a grotesquely enlarged nipple drooped horribly. Brown traces of
a stain from some bodily discharge lay on the pale skin
beneath. You, haruspex, have consumed many such tumours. But this one, I say, is upon me and within me and
it is consuming me. What better way is there to know evil
than to have it upon you? And you say I know nothing!
I was, in truth, stunned by his revelation. Tears were
welling in his eyes and his head was shaking uncontrollably, as if with a nervous tic. His chest rose and fell with
his suddenly stertorous breathing. I knew beyond question
that he was not deceiving me. His bared chest made him
vulnerable, piteous, the red carcinomatous flare marking
his flesh like the petals of a burgeoning flower. He was a
man who already stood on the brink of his own hellish pit.
Tomas, I said after a long silence. Would we not be
better co-operating?
I think not. I am here to take your place, Owsley.
I detected, though, a softening of tone, a decrease in his
arrogance.
But surely I indicated his infected chest. How long
can you survive?
Long enough. Or do you propose to eat my entrails too?
I was shocked again, this time by the candour of his reply.
It did mean, as he had claimed, that in addition to placing
words in my mind he could listen back to what I was thinking. I had been unable to suppress my inner excitement
when I saw the rich potential of the tumour he had revealed
on his breast. Doubtless he had sensed that too.
Eventually, I should have to, I admitted. You must
know that, Tomas. You are haruspical too.
Not as you.
You eat human flesh!
Mrs Scragg gasped and turned away from us both.
Tomas grabbed her arm, and spun her around.
To your work, woman! Never mind what methods we
use. I am hungry! I have not eaten in days.
She looked imploringly at me. Mr Owsley, is this right?
Do as he instructs, Patricia.
You concede my mastery, then? cried Tomas, looking
directly at me. Triumph charged his eyes.
Mrs Scragg, prepare the next meal, I said. You may
use the usual ingredients. Places should be laid for two.
We shall dine in the Great Hall.
I noticed she hesitated for a second or two longer. I recalled our usual conversations at this point when we discussed the way in which she was to prepare the pellets,
but I nodded noncommittally at her and she left. Tonight
of all nights I was prepared to let her cook in whatever
way she felt best.
Feeling that a new understanding had been reached with
Tomas Bauer, and even that some sympathy might be
possible between us, I climbed the remainder of the steps
to join him. He had lost interest in me, though, and was
already striding away. Maddened again by his disdainful
behaviour, first seemingly vulnerable, then almost without
warning as overbearing as ever, I at first made to follow
him but immediately decided against it.
Instead, I went downstairs, walked through to the kitchen
to speak quietly to Patricia Scragg, then went to my library.
I closed and locked the door, and with a dread feeling that
Tomas Bauer would inevitably know what I was doing took
out the final volume of my fathers irreplaceable set of haruspical grimoires, written in Latin.
The task of translation, started by his own grandfather
and as yet only partly accomplished, was familiar and necessary, but also unfinishable. I sought only distraction. The
abstruseness of the text never did help me concentrate at
the best of times and on this evening my mind was racing
with feelings of anxiety and conflict. I knew Tomas Bauer
was somewhere in the Abbey, prowling around, investigating every corner of the old building. At odd moments I
could detect his thoughts, and they came at me in distracting bursts of non-sequitur. Fear was coursing through me:
it was almost as if one of the monsters below had at last
broken out of the pit and invaded this continuum of reality.
Tomass intrusion was of that magnitude. Nothing was
going to be the same again.
Unless he died. I could not rid myself of the memory of
his horribly inflamed chest, the cancer bursting through
the flesh and skin. It was surely a terminal ailment? If so,
how long would it be before he became too ill to function?
Was his inexplicable arrival from the future connected
somehow with his illness? From what was he really trying
to escape when he travelled to England? Did he have one
final destiny to fulfil? Was it involved with my haruspical
mysticism, so that, in effect, it was not he himself who
was taking control but the cancer he bore?
Mrs Scragg came hesitantly to the door of the library,
calling my name. I laid aside the precious tome with a sense
of finality and eased open the door. The candle flames bent
to the side of their wicks in the sudden draught from the
corridor, and wax ran in floods down the guttered stems.
The meal is ready, Mr Owsley, she said. Do you still
want me to serve it in the Great Hall?
Yes, I do. I shall have to unlock the door for you.
Sir, thats what concerns me. Our visitor has already
found a way inside.
He is in the hall alone?
I could do nothing about it. I knew you would be angry.
Very well, Patricia. I am not angry with you. Is the food
ready to be eaten?
As I said.
And you have prepared two portions? She nodded, and
I regarded her thoughtfully. If the meal is still in the kitchen,
let me come with you so that I might inspect it
A voice came: If you are thinking of tampering, Owsley...
Mrs Scragg and I both started with surprise. I know not
what was in her thoughts, but to me it was further proof
that the end of my era as custodian must almost be upon
me. Tomas Bauer had invaded everything and I could not
function like that. The feelings that welled up in me were
a confusion of relief, dismay and anger.
When we reached the kitchen Mrs Scragg took up the
large japanned tray bearing the dishes and we both set off
towards the Great Hall. I scurried before her to push open
and hold each of the doors along the corridors. When we
reached the entrance to the Hall I saw that the reinforced
locks had been burst asunder by main force. I immediately
saw Tomas within, standing in an aggressive manner with
his arms folded and his legs braced, staring at the place
from where the hagioscope viewed the room.
I said quietly to Mrs Scragg, As soon as you have left
the Hall, I want you to collect your personal belongings
and depart the house. Do you understand?
Yes, Mr Owsley.
I suggest you do it as soon as possible. Do not delay for
anything.
When should I return?
I was about to reply that Tomas Bauer would surely let
her know, when his supplanting voice burst into my mind.
Ill call her when and if Im ready! Bring the food!
Let me take the tray, I said to Mrs Scragg. You should
leave at once.
Her gaze briefly met mine. I had never before seen such
a frank, unguarded look from her.
I shouldnt say it, sir, but the best of good fortune to you.
Fortune is not what I want, Patricia, but I thank you for
that. I need strength, and the resolve to stand up to this
man.
Tomas Bauer was moving towards us, so I turned decisively away from her and walked into the main part of the
Hall. Tomas indicated with his hand that I should carry the
tray to the long oaken table, then he stepped close beside
me as I walked nervously across the polished boards of the
floor. I set down the tray and lifted away the chafing
covers. I saw at once that Patricia had done us proud, and
prepared all the most powerful of the pellets. She had
cooked them by the simplest of means, boiling them up
with a selection of garden vegetables into a stew which
would be appetizing were it not for the main ingredient.
Tomas Bauer said in my mind, In spite of what you think,
I am here to salute you, James Owsley. In your country, honour
is for many people a matter of pride, and to others self-sacrifice
is a privilege. Although I have come to replace you,
it is not out of contempt. How may I best show my esteem?
Why can we not work together? I said. This talk of replacing me is inappropriate. You have come at a moment
when I am certain the course of the battle is about to turn.
Look at what lies before us. I gently waved the palm of my
hand above the protein-rich stew that Patricia Scragg had
cooked for us. To work beside me would be the greatest
honour you could pay me.
That would not be possible, Tomas said, and I sensed
a trace of sadness in his tone. Your way is not the right
way. You have to depart.
Can I not even show you of what I am capable? I said.
Let us take our meal into the hagioscope and partake of it
together. Then you will realize how the fiends movements
inside the pit will not only be reversed, but placed so far
back that a final sealing of the pit might conceivably be
possible, and soon.
Tomas replaced the chafing lids on the plates.
Let us indeed visit the hagioscope, he said. But not
for what you propose. I must inspect the pit for myself, try
to comprehend it. I have to set about planning my defence against whatever
it contains.
Once again I found my own ideas and wishes swept aside by his imperious
manner. He thrust one of the covered plates into my hands, then took the other
and walked steadfastly towards the entrance to the squint. I followed, my heart
already beating faster in anticipation of confronting again what I knew was
beyond its narrow confines.
It turned out that although Tomas clearly knew of the existence of the hagioscope, and indeed its approximate position in the wall, he had not worked out
how to gain entrance to it. He made me show him how to operate the concealed
mechanism, then tried it for himself once or twice. With the main panel set to one
side he glanced briefly into the space beyond, before stepping aside to allow me
to enter first. I already knew that there was only enough comfortable space for
one person at a time, so as Tomas squeezed in behind me I was already pressing
myself against the cold stone wall at the back. The aperture that opened to the
pit was at my shoulder and I could hear once again the familiar and disgusting
movements of the beasts below. Inexplicably, they seemed much closer than
ever before. I had spent too much time, too much energy, releasing this man from
the crashing plane. How I regretted that!
Sir, I request you to eat, Tomas said in my mind.
I raised my arms awkwardly, trying to manoeuvre the plate around to a position in which I could take away the chafing cover again, but to do so meant I had
to pass it directly in front of Tomas Bauers face. To my amazement he jerked his
forehead sharply forward, banging the plate in my hand, making it spin away in
the confined space. The pellets, my precious and powerful tumours, burst out
wetly in their gravy and spilled messily down my clothes and on the dark floor.
I smelt Tomass breath, so close was his face to mine. In the wan light that
seeped in from the Hall I could see his face, maniacally grinning.
You will never have to taste your beloved pellets again, Owsley. Your purpose
is more personal. He was still holding his own plate and as he forced his body
round in the cramped space he was able to place the dish on the narrow stone
shelf I had myself been trying to reach. I shall come to those later, if they remain
necessary. First, you must eat, sir, and do so until you are replete!
You have spilled my plate! I cried.
And deliberately!
To my horror, Tomas once again ripped open the fastenings of his shirt and
exposed his diseased chest to me. It was only six inches away from my face. The
efflorescence of his cancerous breast gleamed in the dim light from the Hall. I
madly glimpsed chasing patterns of conflict: life against death, blood pumping
through diseased cells, grisly malignant tendrils reaching out like pollen-laden
anthers to impregnate the as-yet normal flesh that surrounded the deathly bloom.
Neither of us moved, while I regarded this object of allure and repulsion. A
thrill of anticipation was pouring through me like liquid fire.
Tomas raised both his hands and put them behind my head, a gesture that was
partly a restraint, partly a caress. When he spoke next his words had a tender
quality that until this moment I had never heard from him.
I shall if you wish hold you, James. You may take what you will from what
you see.
I have never divined with flesh that is still alive, I said softly, and in awe
of what he was offering me.
Then do so now.
Whether he drew my head forward with his hands or I moved of my own
volition is something I shall never know, but next my teeth had sunk into the
soft flesh of his swollen breast. His strong hands supported my head, while his
fingers sensually stroked my hair. I used my tongue to explore the texture of the
tumour, sensing its preternatural heat, its tenacious grip on its host, the way it
spread like an unfolding corolla. Soon I had found its heart, the pistil, where lay
the passive organs of love and reproduction, and final decay and death.
As Tomas Bauers hands tightened on the back of my head I lunged forward,
my jaw opened wide, my tongue guiding, my teeth easily piercing the thin
wasted skin that still managed somehow to contain the tumour. I bit into the
heart of the cancer. Tomas gasped with pain or passion, and I, sublimely, felt
myself release wetly and sweetly. With the access of intoxicating pleasure, came
the clarity of perception of the little death: Tomas had brought me to this!
His talk of working alone, without me, had never been true! My role was to
release him from death. The thrill of the realization urged me on to abandonment: I buried my face ever deeper into his chest as the ecstasy coursed through
me. The blackness of the malignancy surged forward to take me, seeming to open
up around my eyes like a long dark cylinder, rotating, drawing me through the
all-enveloping abyss of night.
I, haruspex, had entered the darkest entrail of all.
Time went past. Minutes, hours, days, years; none held meaning any longer.
I had moved to a plane where the mere counting of time was irrelevant. I knew
only the gushing flood of death, pumping out around my face, a warm nectar,
blinding me, drawing me down, drowning me.
I could no longer see. I was in terminal darkness and I was leaning on, resting
on, a slope that was nearly vertical. It was warm and fleshly, coated in slime,
lacking anywhere I could obtain a good hold. I felt the terror of what might lie
below me and yearned to climb away from it.
A vertical undulation rippled down the slope, shifting me out and back over the
abyss below. Panic flooded through me. I was starting to slide, so I held on,
paralysed by the abject terror of what would happen to me if my grip weakened.
My hands had become claws, their long tines sinking ineffectually into the slimy
membrane to which I clung. Oblivion was below. I reached forward and up,
trying to gain purchase on the greasy slope. One of my claws felt as if it had found
a firmer place, and, thus encouraged, I shifted my weight below, my doubly
articulated legs stretching and pushing.
I clicked. I moved.
Another peristaltic undulation came heaving down. This time I was dislodged!
I fell, my limbs waving in terror, my unwieldy body curling instinctively into a
defensive hump. Only by great good fortune did one of my claws make fleeting
contact with the membranous wall. I slashed in the claws and held on with all
my strength, and as my body thrashed and collapsed against the scummy gradient I heard others of my kind clicking and clattering with their fright as they too
struggled to hold on.
Their panicky sounds swelled around me, muted by the slime around us, but
echoing brightly off our chitinous carapaces. The being closest to me, clinging on
not far above in the darkness, turned a grotesquely swollen head towards me. Its
two rear legs were raised, their horrid inverted knees braced against each other.
With a violent spasm the legs rubbed together, setting off a shrieking stridulation.
Around us, the other arthropods took up the rasping chorus, the endless braying sermon; I too felt my rear legs twitching unstoppably against each other. My
father, my ancestors, my damned destiny!
By the time the next peristaltic convulsion rolled down towards us I was ready
for it, and rode the attack without losing any more ground. The stridulations
changed pitch as the slimy wall rippled against us. I shuffled my legs, croaking
and belching with the effort, determined never again to fall.
Soon, I started to climb. Beside me, above me, below, the other damned beings
climbed too. Ahead was a glimmer of light, a suggestion of final release from the
pit, an invitation to life. I knew only the urge to escape and climbed grimly on.
With the next surge of peristalsis a torrent of vile fluids washed down from
above, a raging flood of slime and acidic liquid. I held on, while others fell. A
violent contraction shook the wall and a great eructation of gases roared past me,
carrying with it a fine spray of much of the slime. Again, others around me were
dislodged. In my mind I heard their dying fall as at last they entered the abyss.
I resumed my climb, following my father.