"Robert Rankin - Waiting for Godalming" - читать интересную книгу автора (Robert Rankin)

"No," I told him. "I don't have any time for dreams."
"Let's talk about you then. Let's talk about you, Mr Woodblock."
"The name's Woodbine," I said. "Lazlo Woodbine, private eye."
And I added, "Some call me Laz."
The doctor leafed some more through his case notes. "Mr
Woodbine, yes, and you describe yourself as a living legend."
"I am the man," I said. "The one and only. The last of a dying
breed."
"And just what breed would that be, exactly?"
"The nineteen-fifties American genre detective. The man who
walks alone along those mean streets where a man must walk
alone."
"Not entirely alone," said the doctor, flick flick flicking through
those case-note pages. "There is this Gary character who works
with you."
"It's Barry," I said. "His name is Barry."
"Ah yes, Barry. And Barry is a sprout who lives inside your head."
"He doesn't live there. I've told you before."
"He's a dead sprout?"
"He's a theophany. And before you ask me again what that is, it's
a manifestation of the deity to man, in a form which, although
visible, is not necessarily material. And before you ask me again
whether I can see Barry, the answer is no. I can only hear him.
And only I can hear him. He speaks to me from inside my head.
He's my Holy Guardian Sprout."
"As in Holy Guardian Angel?"
"As I have told you many times before. There are more people on
Earth than there are angels in Heaven. God improvises. He
shares out the produce of His garden. I got a sprout named
Barry. Perhaps you have a pumpkin called Peter."
"Are you suggesting that I have a very big head?"
"If the elephant man's cap fits, wear it."
"What did you say, Mr Woodbine?"
"I said, you have an elegant man's head. Now please can I have
some more tablets before I fall asleep again?"
"All in good time," said the doctor, doing that thing that doctors
do with their pencils. "Let's talk a bit about this case you say
you're on. It involves a handbag, doesn't it?"
"No," I said. "My last case involved a handbag. This case involves
a briefcase."
"Is there always luggage involved in your cases?"
"That's what a case is, luggage."
"I don't think I quite understand."
"Well, we all have our luggage to carry around. That's what
makes a man what he is, his luggage."
"Surely you mean baggage."
"Luggage, baggage. A man is what he carries around. A handbag,
a briefcase, a doctor's bag, carpet bag, Gladstone bag, kit bag,
duffel bag, saddle bag, portmanteau, suitcase, attachщ case,
despatch case, guitar case, overnight case, weekend case, vanity