"Robert Rankin - Sex, Drugs & Sausage Rolls" - читать интересную книгу автора (Rankin Robert)

тАШI am Distant,тАЩ said Soap. тАШSoap Distant. You were expecting me.тАЩ

тАШAh, youтАЩve come about the job.тАЩ

тАШNo,тАЩ said Soap. тАШDo you mind if I sit down?тАЩ

тАШIf you can find a chair. But you canтАЩt stay long. IтАЩm busy.тАЩ

тАШMoving out,тАЩ said Soap, who, finding no chair, pulled up a box.

тАШMoving in,тАЩ said the editor.

тАШIn?тАЩ said Soap. тАШBut theMercuryтАЩs offices have always been here. Ever since the paper was founded in
Victorian times.тАЩ

тАШAre you. one of those Men in Black?тАЩ asked the editor, тАШbecause if you areтАФтАЩ

тАШIтАЩm not,тАЩ said Soap, comfying himself upon the box to the sound of cracking glassware from within. тАШI
am Soap Distant. Traveller through the hollow Earth. The man who has claimed the planetтАЩs heart for
England and her Queen.тАЩ

тАШQueen?тАЩ said the editor. тАШAre you taking the piss?тАЩ

тАШIтАЩm sorry,тАЩ said Soap. тАШIтАЩm becoming confused. Before I embarked upon my journey I communicated
with your predecessor, Mr Bacon. Only by telephone, as he never seemed to have the time to see me. I
told him that I intended to journey to the centre of the Earth and he agreed that when and indeed if I
returned from doing so he would print my story. I offered him an exclusive. He was all for it. Said heтАЩd
hold the front page and everything.тАЩ

тАШI suppose he would have,тАЩ said the editor.

тАШAnd when I returned, successful, just two days ago,

I telephoned this office and spoke once more with Mr Bacon and made an appointment and now IтАЩm
here.тАЩ

тАШI suppose you are,тАЩ said the editor.

тАШBut youтАЩre not Mr Bacon,тАЩ said Soap.

тАШNo,тАЩ said the editor, shaking his head.
тАШIтАЩm now extremely confused.тАЩ

тАШWhy donтАЩt you just go home and sleep it off? Would you like me to phone for a minicab?тАЩ

тАШWhat?тАЩ said Soap.

тАШYou are clearly delusional,тАЩ said the editor. тАШDoes your condition manifest itself in bouts of
uncontrollable violence? Because I must warn you that I am an ex-ponent ofDimac, the deadliest martial
art in the world, and can brutally maim and disfigure you with little more than a fingertipтАЩs touch, should I