"Robert Rankin - THe Suburban Book of the Dead" - читать интересную книгу автора (Rankin Robert)

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They Came and Ate Us
Armageddon 3: The Remake
Robert Rankin




1. Thus the heavens and the earth were finished and all the host of them.

2. And on the seventh day God ended his work and rested from all of the work which he had made.

3. And on the eighth day God gazed upon Elvis and said unto him, 'You had better have a really
good reason for showing up here!'

4. And Elvis answered, 'No sweat, sir.'

The Suburban Book of the Dead

You make few friends travelling north on a south-bound freeway.

Lazlo Woodbine

Along the crest of the hill a line of trees broke wind. And beneath them in the valley, para-dise
was looking just so. Well-tended gardens cloistered quaint dwellings of a rustic nature. Pine-
scented smoke drifted gently from chimneys. Children played amongst the flowering scullion and
scandaroons nestled in the dovecots. It was the 27 July 2061. It was the Garden of Eden. And it
was a bad day for Rex Mundi.

Rex had dodged the bread rolls. Side-stepped the crockery and ducked beneath the salad bowl. But
it was the wok that really did for him.

Had it been one of those aluminium wedding-present jobs you store dead insects in, he might have
survived.

But this lad was in a class of its own. A real hand-beaten bronzer with a formidable fighting
weight. It was no contest. Rex went down for the count.

He passed backwards through the open kitchen door-way and out into the pleasant summery sunlight.
And here he came to rest in the sprout bed. Little transparent birds twittered in a circle around
his head. The incidental music went WAB-WAAAAAH.

The furry face of a small terrier appeared through a hole in the hedge, an ear cocked to the
sounds of breaking china and tumbling whatnots which issued from the family home. When at last
these had ceased, the owner of the face, Fido, crept from his refuge and peered down at his fallen
master.

'Hardly a fitting entrance for the hero,' was his con-sidered opinion. Rex had no comment to make
at this time.