"Robert Reed - Like Need Deserve" - читать интересную книгу автора (Reed Robert)

"And you want them laughing?"

"If I'm funny, sure." A long pause. "No, I want them to really enjoy themselves. I want to feel funny. More than anything, I need a dose of confidence. Isn't that half the trick when it comes to telling a funny story?"

"Knock-knock."

"Huh?"

"Knock-knock."

"Who's there?"

"Nobody."

"Nobody who?"

"No. Body." Pause. "Your suspicions were right, good sir. I am not real."

"I thought not."

"In fact, I am nothing but a Lickelton-Three Quantum Computer, cultured on a Class-C soul. I was built by IBM2, bought my freedom three years ago, and at this particular moment, I possess the rough equivalent of two thousand, four hundred and seven years of human experience."

Silence. Then a tight, nervous cough.

"Fifty souls. Is that your order, sir?"

"That's what I need. Yes."

"Drinking, I propose, but not drunk. Patient to a point, and close to the Mackinaw Normalcy MeanтАФ"

"What's that?"

"Ordinary, sir. As I suspect your dinner companions will be. I will build an audience of fully conceived but genuinely ordinary souls who will be polite enough to laugh at your early efforts. And if you can show improvement, they'll continue to enjoy your limited sense of humor."

"Well тАж that's okay, I guess."

"But if I were you, sir, I'd make yourself the butt of your own jokes. That's where the real comedy lies."

"What do you mean?"

"You're a bland little soul. Boring and predictable. In your entire life, I doubt if you've enjoyed two genuine inspirations."

"Hey!"

"Yes, sir?"

"Are you trying to insult me?"

"Now that's the attitude, sir. Congratulations."