"Robert Reed - Melodies Played upon Cold, Dark Worlds" - читать интересную книгу автора (Reed Robert)

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Her mother named her Amaryllis, though she moved through the world with the much simpler Amma.
"Two Ms," she warned. Then with a practiced thoroughness, she explained, "I added the second M
myself. It balances the name, I think, and gives me an equilibrium."

"How about Tony?" I asked. "Does that have balance?"

Amma gave me a pitying glance. Then instead of answering, she smiled and asked, "Do you want more
to eat, Tony?"

Honestly, she wasn't much of a cook. But I could see her hard work and pure intentions. The table was
clean and set with care. The dirty pans and the aroma of burnt oil gave the kitchen an honest mayhem. I
couldn't tell if the scorch marks behind the stove were from today or last week. But portions of the
dinnerтАФbetween the blackened and the rawтАФwere extraordinarily good. Delicious, and perfect, and I
didn't have to lie too much, telling her, "Sure. I'd love another helping."

We were eating in one corner of her tiny living room. Amma rose and took my plate, disappearing into
the kitchen. As she turned away, her face changed. The smile faded, and her shoulders slumped. I'd
made a mistake, using her as a waitress, or as a mother figure. Next time, I'd pulled my own ass out of
the chair. If there was a next time. When she returned, she was wearing a grim, disappointed expression.
I was an inch away from making some graceless, pointless apology.

First dates are a nightmare.

Unless I end up loving them, that is.

"Do you ever get scared?" Amma inquired.

"Scared?"

"I do," she confessed. With a sweet frailty, she set the restocked plate in front of me and settled on her
side of the small round table. Almost shivering, she said, "All of the sudden, I'll start thinking about how
things are moving. The changes happening in the world, and in us. I start to imagine our future тАж and
really, I'm a very imaginative personтАФ"

"I can tell."

"But when I look past tomorrow," she said, "I can't see anything. Darkness, and silence, and this terrible
cold. That's all that I can imagine. And suddenly, I'm just terrified."

I said nothing.

She seemed to be speaking to the centerpieceтАФa glass vase filled with dead flowersтАФexplaining, "This
isn't mental. It's not a chemical imbalance. I've taken all the medications, and they don't help. Not really.
It took me forever, Tony тАж but I finally realized that when a fear is genuine, no medicine can erase it
тАж"