"Laura Resnick - Those Rowdy Royals!" - читать интересную книгу автора (Resnick Laura)

For a detailed analysis of the effect the assassination has had on the
economic salubrity of the Papal States, please turn to the financial section.
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THE COURTLY CHRONICLE
"Murder In The Cathedral"
King Henry can rest easy at last, since his arch nemesis, the Archbishop of
Canterbury, lies cold in his grave. Yes, poor Thomas is dead, killed as he
knelt at prayer, slain by infidels who slipped into the country disguised as
Italian sausages.
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_THE ANGLO-SAXON Star_
"Courtly Chronicle Crushes Credibility"
The _Courtly_, known to be a mere tool of the Plantagenets ever since Henry
first started bullying Stephen (remember him?), was caught printing unverified
information about the identities of Thomas A Becket's assassins.
It is now known -- checked and double-checked by the reliable staff of
the _Star_ -- that Becket was slain by aliens. The same ones who built those
pyramids and invented haggis.
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THE EVENING JESTER
"Henry Has Hemorrhoids!"
King Henry has continued to deny all rumors linking him to the murder of the
Archbishop of Canterbury, claiming a chronic scatological disorder as his
alibi.
Employing the responsible methods our readers have learned to expect, a
_Jester_ reporter disguised himself as a chamber pot to verify the King's
story. We are pleased to be the first news service in Britain to report that
Henry II, by the grace of God, King of England, does indeed have hemorrhoids
and thus _cannot be guilty_ of the Archbishop's murder!
For an exclusive account of the three days our star _Jester_ journalist
posed as the King's chamber pot, please turn to page three.
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THE NORMAN RAG
"Public Pressure Mobilizes Monarch!"
Despite the famous Chamber Pot Defense, the King has been unable to mitigate
rumors that he ordered the assassination of Thomas Becket. Consequently, His
Grace will do public penance and make a pilgrimage to Canterbury.
Now! For the first time! You, too, can _live_ this historic event! Stay
with us each day as, reporting live, we take you _inside_ the _true_ story!
Get wet and muddy with Henry as he rides to Canterbury. _Feel_ the sweat of




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the King as he approaches Becket's final resting place. _Experience_ the ice
cold stones of Canterbury Cathedral under your knees as the _Rag_ takes you
there! _Thrill_ to each lash of the whip as it licks Henry's skin!
This is a once-in-a-lifetime offer, folks! The chance won't come again,
so _be_ there!