"Mike Resnick - Inquiry into the Auction of the United States of America" - читать интересную книгу автора (Resnick Mike)

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Statement from Hubert Jameson, Chairman of the Board of the now-defunct Standard Oil Company:
тАЬWhat the hell were we supposed to doтАФthrow five million people out of work because some little
Chink or Jap or whatever the hell he was found a way to bottle the Sun? Sure we fought to stay in
business! After all, fossil fuels won us the first two World Wars, didn't they? Abe Lincoln lit his lamps
with oil, didn't he? George Washington ... well, forget about George Washington. Anyway, it would
have been unpatriotic to give up without a fight.тАЭ

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Statement from Richard J. Daley IV, Chairman of the Chicago Transit Authority (C.T.A.): тАЬYes, I realize
that our fares have increased eight thousand percent in the past decade, and no, the C.T.A. is not
dependent upon fossil fuels to any great extent. What we really have here is a situation in which, thanks
to soaring gas prices, a finite number of trains and buses were being asked to transport an almost infinite
number of commuters. The logistics of the problem, and the expenditures in time and manpower,
became so great that we decided the only way to handle so much business was, paradoxically, to drive it
away. Hence, every time there was a price increase in fossil fuels, we matched it penny for penny. This
policy has worked out so well that only last week we laid off half our drivers, engineers, and conductors,
and put the rest on part-time. Thus, once again, modern management has met the challenge.тАЭ

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Statement from Edwin Kominski, Comptroller of the United States of America: тАЬOf course, there are a lot
of details to be worked out yet. Will Lockheed still owe seventy billion dollars to the new government?
Who will pay off our national debt? Can the Los Angeles Raiders still move to Butte, Montana? Will a
general tax amnesty be declared? It's a tricky situation.тАЭ

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Statement from Clarissa Wyatt, Estate Appraiser for Sotheby's: тАЬMy own feeling is that they'd be better
off selling the national parks, the Great Lakes, and the Las Vegas hotels separately. Put everything into
one big package that includes such undesirable locations as Manhattan and Los Angeles, and the price
has got to decrease accordingly. A guess? Oh, I would estimate that it should bring at least 35 billion. I
mean, the buildings alone have to be worth that much. Of course, they'll all have to be converted to solar
powerтАФbut even so, 30 billion would be the rock-bottom minimum. Maybe 28.тАЭ

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Statement from Harvey Purple Cloud, Hereditary Chief of the Mescalaro Apaches: тАЬMake a bid? Like,
man, you gotta be pulling my leg! We gave those turkeys a perfectly nice little piece of real estate, and
look what they did to it.тАЭ

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