"Mike Resnick - Tales Of The Galactic Midway 03 - The Wild Alien Tamer" - читать интересную книгу автора (Resnick Mike)

narrow overhead ramp. The creatures he was observing darted around and under a number of small ice floes,
surfacing only for air and to emit an occasional pig-like grunt.
тАЬ I came seventy light-years out of my way to look at seals!тАЭ he repeated incredulously.
тАЬ That is not a term I understand, sir,тАЭ said his guide.
тАЬ You don't know what a seal is?тАЭ said Monk. тАЬ Well now, just stick your head over the edge of the ramp and
look straight down and what you're going to be looking at is a batch of seals. I had a friend called Denny
Taylor who went broke on Earth trying to put together a seal act. All they can do is balance stuff on their
noses and blow a few notes on a set of horns.тАЭ He shook his head in amazement. тАЬ Seals, for Christ's sake!тАЭ
тАЬ I assure you that these animals exist nowhere else in the Community of Worlds,тАЭ said the guide, drawing
himself up to his full, if minimal, height.
He was mildly humanoid in structure, though his arms and legs seemed too long for the rest of him and his
face was incapable of expression.
тАЬ Friend, the only difference between your seals and mine is that mine bark like dogs and yours oink like
pigs.тАЭ Monk turned to the guide. тАЬ I told you on the goddamned radio that I needed something dangerous.тАЭ
тАЬ Theyare dangerous, sir,тАЭ answered the guide. тАЬ They are carnivores, they are very mobile in their natural
environment, they are able to withstand extreme cold, theyтАФ тАЭ
тАЬ I'm freezing to death and you're describing seals to me!тАЭ said Monk unbelievingly. тАЬ Look, pal, they ain't
going to be performing in their natural environment.тАЭ
тАЬ They are not, sir?тАЭ
тАЬ Not unless I grow a set of fins or gills.тАЭ
тАЬ I had rather assumed you would not be entering the water to work with them.тАЭ
тАЬ Did you also assume that I'm equipped to frolic around in the snow?тАЭ
тАЬ I doubt it, sir.тАЭ
тАЬ You figure my audiences are a hell of a lot different from me?тАЭ
тАЬ I hadn't given it any thought, sir,тАЭ came the reply.
тАЬ Well, so as not to put any undue stress on your brain, let me tell you that they ain't. Now, before I freeze
my ass off, let's get straight one more time just what it is that I'm looking for. I need a goddamned
land-dwelling carnivore. I need something that won't fold up its tent and die the second it gets warm out. I
need something that won't take half a day to travel a hundred yards on dry land. I need something that can do
more than balance a ball on its nose. Are you following me?тАЭ
тАЬ Yes,тАЭ replied the guide. тАЬ But I must point out that these are the only carnivores on our planet that fulfill your
size requirements.тАЭ
тАЬ Somehow, I ain't exactly surprised,тАЭ said Monk. тАЬ Well, I'd better get back to the ship before I turn into the
strangest-looking popsicle you ever saw.тАЭ
тАЬ I could make a price if you were to buy four or more,тАЭ offered the guide.
тАЬ You know, I could have sworn you had ears under all that hair.тАЭ He stared disbelievingly at the guide. тАЬ
LookтАФ if I don't wantone seal, why do you think I wantfour of them?тАЭ
тАЬ I thought you might be haggling,тАЭ said the guide. тАЬ The limited information we have on Terrans is that they
like to drive bargains.тАЭ
тАЬ Yeah? Well,I don't. And I ain't a Terran; I'm an Alaskan.тАЭ He began clambering down off the ramp. тАЬ I don't
suppose anyone on this world makes a decent cup of coffee?тАЭ
тАЬ Coffee, sir?тАЭ
Monk sighed. тАЬ Just get me to the ship.тАЭ
тАЬ You're very amusing, sir,тАЭ said the guide. тАЬ Are all members of your race like you?тАЭ
тАЬ None of тАШ em are half as good-looking as me,тАЭ said Monk. тАЬ And most of тАШ em would have you boiled in oil for
bringing them out here just to look at seals. They ain't all as good-natured as I am.тАЭ
тАЬ Oh,тАЭ replied the guide.
It was the very last thing he said, and shortly thereafter Monk was back aboard his ship, bound for Sabellius
III and wondering why it was so difficult to put together an animal act in a universe filled with exotic life forms.
He had landed on Bori IV two months ago, hopeful of finding everything he needed there and cutting short his