"Resnick, Mike - Myron Blumberg, Dragon" - читать интересную книгу автора (Resnick Mike)

Bernie Goldberg, who is just coming home from shopping at the
delicatessan, and Sylvia tells him I am her new dog, and he asks
what breed I am, and she says she's not sure, and he says he
thinks maybe I am imported from Ireland, and then Sylvia yanks on
the leash and we walk to the corner.
"He's still looking at you," she whispers.
"So?" I say.
"I don't think he believes you're a dog."
"There's nothing we can do about that," I say.
"Yes there is," she says, leading me over to a fire hydrant.
"Lift your leg on this. That will convince him."
"I don't think dragons lift their legs, Sylvia," I say.
"Why do you persist in embarrassing me?" she says. "Lift your
leg!"
"I can't," I say.
"Whoever heard of a dragon that couldn't lift its leg?" she
insists. "You don't have to do anything disgusting. It's just to
show that know-it-all Bernie Goldberg."
I try, and I fall over on my side.
"What good are you?" demands Sylvia, as Bernie stares at me,
blinking his eyes furiously behind his thick bifocals.
"Help me up," I says. "I'm not used to having all these
legs."
"Myron," she says as she drags me to my feet, "the situation
is becoming intolerable. Something's got to be done before you
make me the laughing-stock of the entire neighborhood."

#

"This is the last straw!" she says, ripping open the
envelope.
"What is?" I ask.
"The state has refused to extend your unemployment benefits.
They don't care that you're a dragon, as long as you're an able-
bodied one." She glares at me. "And you're going through twenty
pounds of meat a day. Do you know how much that costs?"
I shrug. "What can I say? Dragons get hungry."
"Why are you always so selfish, Myron?" she says. "Why can't
you graze in the back yard like a horse or something?"
"I don't think dragons like grass," I say.
"And that's it?" she demands. "You won't even try?"
"I'll try, I'll try," I say with a sigh, and go out to the
back yard. It doesn't look like Caesar salad, but I close my eyes,
lean down, and open my mouth.
Sylvia hides me in the basement just before the fire
department comes to save what's left of the garage.

#

"You did that on purpose!" she says accusingly after the