"John Ringo - Roast Suckling Damnbeast" - читать интересную книгу автора (Ringo John)

"A Recipe for Clay-Roasted Suckling
Damn-Beast"
by John Ringo
Short Story published in March 2001 (scifidimensions)




[This story may contain language objectionable to some readers.] J.R.


The following is a recipe for "Clay-Roasted Suckling Damn-Beast", a
delicacy of the planet Marduk.
We would like to thank Sergeant Adib Julian for his helpful suggestions
and tips on preparing this appetizing dish.

And this is just one of the hundreds of useful recipes in Interplanetary
Fanny's New Book: "Intergalactic Cooking for the Mom on the Go!"
(Elease March 3428 AD, JB5Clone Publishing Enterprises).




Follow these steps for a delightful meal!

Step One:

Since these are fiercely guarded by one or the other of the mated pair of
damn-beasts, this is, naturally, the hardest part. The second hardest part
is finding a damn-beast den. The dens are commonly found in rocky
upland areas, but are occasionally found in holes beneath mature
faux-teak trees. Whether they are beneath faux-teak or in rocky
outcroppings, mature dens will only be found on or near hilltops that are
out of reach of Marduk's notorious floods. The openings are relatively
small for such a large carnivore, but the damn-beast can flatten itself
oblately - and so must the damn-beast hunter.
 Placing a group of guards outside the den, a single person, after
removing his or her battle armor, can normally worm his or her way into
the entrance. It requires a person who is not overlarge or heavyset and
fundamentally unafraid of confined spaces.

Remember that the damn-beast is heavily armored in the frontal
quarters. Since this is the only part our intrepid hunter is going to see, it
is imperative that a high quality weapon be toted into the burrow.
Although one might prefer a plasma rifle, there are countervailing
arguments (you can't fit it in the burrow, it will kill and torch the kits
you're planning on eating, the blast will probably bring down the roof and
even if it doesn't the back-blast in that confined space will surely kill you).
It is recommended that you use a bead pistol with armor piercing rounds.
If such a weapon or ammunition is unavailable, the traditional Mardukan