"Spider Robinson - The End of the Painbow" - читать интересную книгу автора (Robinson Spider)

competition," he said softly, and tossed the empty glass negligently over his shoulder. "Maybe I can't
outpun the big sawbones over there," he said, nodding toward Doc Webster, "but I can out-weird all of
you rummies put together, any day that ends in y."
There was a distant "Ouch!" and then a small musical crash as the empty glass finally arrived, by
circuitous means no doubt, in the fireplace.
"Mind if I ask a snoopy question or two?" I asked.
He shrugged. "Ask. If you stumble into any sensitive areas, I'll rip your eyelids off to clue you."
"You been this way from in front, Duck?"
His answer told me that he had caught the obscure Lord Buckley reference. "WhyтАФyou gonna
straighten my bent frame?"
I shook my head. "Wouldn't know how. I just figured if it came on any time after you were born,
where and when would be a clue."
"Astute. Naturally, such a thing would never have occurred to me. But as it happens, I have been the
Lucky Duck ever since birth. Mom always said my father was the same way."
"You never knew your dad?"
"I tried, but his steadfast absence defeated me. That and Mom's reticence. About all I know about
him is that he had red hair, his first name was Eric, and he must have been a tough guyтАФshe never called
him anything but Feared Eric, and she doesn't like to talk about him." He belched spectacularly. "I'm just
guessing the red hair because she's IrishтАФfor all I know he was a Apache. Or a Martian."
I made a long arm and punched myself up a Blessing from the Fount. The thirty seconds or so
necessary for the beans to be microwave-roasted, ground, and brewed gave me time to think. Difficult to
try and help such a thorny little guy. Did he even want any help? My Irish coffee was ready; I took the
mug from the conveyor belt as it emerged from the Fount. How would Mike Callahan have handled this?
Well, kindly, above all.
"Gotta be a strain on a guy," I said tentatively, taking that glorious first sip.
He shrugged.
"Suppose I could straighten that metaphorical bent frame," I said. "Hypothetically ... would you want
me to?"
"Make me a normal human being? Would you want to be one?"
"I'm serious."
"Doubtless many would agree with you," he said acidly, and then relented. "Oh, all right. I admit it's a
good question. But how would I know? I have nothing to compare my life to." He shook his head. "I
don't know, sometimes I think life would be a lot simpler if odds didn't get even odder around me. The
only thing I can say for itтАФand against itтАФis that the luck is never totally good or totally bad. Just weird.
Sometimes I think I've got a guardian idiot."
I cracked up. "You too? I've had that feeling all my life. I never heard anybody else call it that. A
guardian idiot: a little invisible spirit just behind my shoulder, looking out for me ... only he's an imbecile."
The Duck nodded. "But a lucky imbecile. Somehow the net effect is usually that things more or less
cancel out. Like, if you're sitting next to me and you win a million bucks in the lottery, don't worry about
it: something will happen and you'll be right back where you started before you know it. Except for any
wear and tear it might put on your nerves to win a million dollars and lose it in the same day."
It must have been hard for him to keep a friend. No wonder he was so sour. He always lived in
interesting times.
"No," the hairy little man said, "taking it all in all, I don't think I'd want to lose my ... whatever it is I've
got. I mean, obviously my life is perfect: it produced me. But like I said last night, if I ever meet that Mike
Callahan of yours, I'd sure like to ask him whether or not there's some way to put an off-switch on the
bastard. Or even just a rheostat. That's why I plan to hang out here awhile. As I age, I weary of being
fantastic all the time. Just about the only thing I've never tried is boredom. People seem to work so hard
to get it, I figure it must be worth trying."
"I enjoy having you in my place, Ernie," I said, thankful that I remembered at least half of the