"Spider Robinson - User Friendly" - читать интересную книгу автора (Robinson Spider)

Alice turned to him, and gave him a smile so sad and so brave that he thought his heart might break.
"Sam," she said, "that's a storybook ending. I hope it works out that way for you. But don't blow your
brains out if it doesn't, okay? Or hers. You write about mind-control and the institution of slavery
because subversion of the human free will, loss of control, holds a special horror for you. You're the
kind that dies fighting instead. Marian isn't. I'm not. Most humans aren't, even though they like to feel
they would be if it came to it. Maybe that's why the Users came here.
"It may be that you and Marian can't live together any more; I don't know. I do know that you need
twelve hours' sleep and a couple of good meals before it's safe to let you back on the highwayтАФand
Greg and I badly need someone to talk to. My User won't be back for another ten hours or so. What
would you say to some eggs and back bacon?"
Sam closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I guess I'd say, `Hello thereтАФdo you mind if I use you for
twelve hours or so?'" And turn you into shit in the process, he thought, but he found that he was ashamed
of the thought, and that was something, at least. "Can I use your phone?"
"Only if you reverse the charges, you cheap Yankee son of a bitch," Greg said at once, and came and
hugged him hard.

COPYRIGHT VIOLATION

I was singing along with John Lennon when she crowned me from behind: that's how the rape began.
I don't often sing along with jukeboxes; a fellow like me can get hurt that way. It's not just that I can't
carry a tune. I seem to have one of those faces that stevedores and bikers and truckersтАФand even the
odd minister in his cupsтАФlove to punch, just on general principles, I guess, so I tend to avoid drawing
attention to myself when I'm in a bar.
No, I'll be more honest than that. I can be honest, you seeтАФbecause it's my choice. I'll metaphorically
strip myself for you, and then you'll see that it wasn't because she raped my body that I wanted to kill
her, or even my mind, but because she raped my soul.
So, being honest: it isn't just for fear of getting punched that I make myself inconspicuous in bars.
Contrary to what you may have heard, there aren't that many real bullies in the world; most men looking
for a fight will leave me alone, the way a hunter with an elephant gun will walk past a gerbil. What I'm

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really avoiding when I make myself inconspicuous is pity.
I mean, look at me. Most of the people who ever have, failed to see me at allтАФthe eye tends to subtract
meтАФbut those who do notice usually feel sorry for me. My chin and my Adam's apple are like twin
brothers in bunk beds. I got this nose. My dad used to say that my ears made me look like a taxicab
coming down the street with the doors open. My glasses weigh more than my shoes, and my shoes
weigh more than the rest of me.
I mean, I'll bet you think a prostitute will take anybody, that any man with enough money can get laid.
It may be true. I've never had enough money. Oh, once I got a woman to agree, for three times the going
rate ... but the way she went about it, I just couldn't do itтАФto her total lack of surprise. I've never really
given up hope since, in my adolescence, I first heard the term "mercy hump"тАФbut so far, I haven't found
that much mercy in the world.
So when the jukebox clicked, and John Lennon began to tell me that he was a loser, I just naturally
chimed in on the second, "I'm a l-o-o-oser". And felt something circular and weighty being pressed
down over my headтАФand heard the most beautiful voice in the world, right behind my ear, sing the next
line of the songтАФand spun quickly around and saw her.
Oh my, it hurt to look at her. You're a normal man, friend, no doubt you've won some and lost some
but didn't you ever see one that you just knew on sight you'd trade your home and wife and children and