"Justina Robson - Silver Screen" - читать интересную книгу автора (Robson Justina)

disgusted that I had to scrape for friendship this way, but not so disgusted I could
stop. On that afternoon I decided that these would be my friends, and I shut myself
off from the chance of making others. I had found them.
 Ask me now why I felt that kind of decision was necessary and I still canтАЩt tell
you. Maybe it was just a sixth sense that tying myself to them would make it
impossible to keep other friendships тАУ they required all my energy to keep up. Or, to
be honest, maybe it was that they had that star quality, and I couldnтАЩt resist the
chance to let some of their kook glamour fall on me by association. I didnтАЩt so much
want to be their friend as I wanted to be them. I used to want to be cool and witty тАУ
Mae West, Bette Davis тАУ and in this day and age a great brain is almost as much of a
status symbol as a sharp tongue and the satin curves of a starlet. But I wasnтАЩt at this
school because of my intellect тАУ I knew that if no one else did yet тАУ and one day that
would become apparent, so somehow I had to find another path into the limelight.
That afternoon we sat in RoyтАЩs dorm room with the blinds shut and I asked
him questions while he played the game, feet on his desk, screen magnified onto the
undecorated wall opposite the bed.
тАШHow do you know so much about 898?тАЩ
тАШWe talk,тАЩ he said, watching the wall, his hands moving like a jazz pianistтАЩs in
their black motion-tracking gloves. I believed him. It didnтАЩt occur to me not to. We
were forbidden to hack and were told we wouldnтАЩt get contact with the bigger AIs
(those of us on the AI stream) until much later. I always obeyed rules. My eyes grew
large and round.
тАШYou hack?тАЩ I said, shocked out of my little puritan shoes.
тАШWe wouldnтАЩt get to it if it didnтАЩt want to talk to us,тАЩ he said, and shot me a
glance away from the silent screen. His gaze said that it was only idiots who got
caught. тАШDonтАЩt you?тАЩ
тАШI donтАЩt know how,тАЩ I said, sitting on my hands on the bed. I felt clumsy. I
was about the only kid in the AI stream who had not started out in life as some kind
of wizard programmer or manipulator. My key skill wasnтАЩt even a skill. But he had
gone back to concentrating on his low-flying attack plane. He didnтАЩt ask me about it
any more or offer to tell me what I should do, even though I wished he would.
One thing Roy did have was a shelf full of books. Actual paper books, each
one wrapped in a coat of smart plastic, and about the only thing in there which
wasnтАЩt broken, discarded or scattered in a mess where it had fallen. I alternated
looks between the game тАУ which he was very good at тАУ and the shelf. Some of the
titles were just visible in the dim light from the screen. Wildcats, The Silver Surfer,
Rogue Centurion, Lotus Explo-sion, Thunder Road: comic books. They looked
old. All books looked old to me.
I thought about asking to read them, but felt he would say no, so I didnтАЩt. I
wanted a sweet from my pocket, but then I would have had to offer him one too and
he had the gloves on and all, so maybe I would have had to put it in his mouth and I
didnтАЩt want that intimacy, so I didnтАЩt do that either. I waited.
Jane came in a short time later, her hand strapped up with white webbing. She
gave me an incredulous look as she strode in, but no more. тАШHavenтАЩt you finished
that yet?тАЩ she demanded of Roy, going to his desk and sitting down without looking
out for anything which might get crushed.
He didnтАЩt reply, but kept playing, jabbing the invisible gun control, curving the
plane around in a spiral with his other hand. Jane turned her head and looked at the
wall. тАШYou havenтАЩt got enough fuel to get out of the labyrinth,тАЩ she said in a deadpan
voice, тАШso you might as well quit now.тАЩ