wiping her chin on her sleeve. "A no-account, good-for-nothing, lazy
scrounger who --"
"He was not," said Harry suddenly. The table went very quiet. Harry was
shaking all over. He had never felt so angry in his life.
"MORE BRANDY!" yelled Uncle Vernon, who had gone very white. He emptied
the bottle into Aunt Marge's glass. "You, boy," he snarled at Harry. "Go
to bed, go on --"
"No, Vernon," hiccuped Aunt Marge, holding up a hand, her tiny bloodshot
eyes fixed on Harry's. "Go on, boy, go on. Proud of your parents, are
you? They go and get themselves killed in a car crash (drunk, I expect)
--"
'They didn't die in a car crash!" said Harry, who found himself on his
feet.
"They died in a car crash, you nasty little liar, and left you to be a
burden on their decent, hardworking relatives!" screamed Aunt Marge,
swelling with fury. "You are an insolent, ungrateful little --"
But Aunt Marge suddenly stopped speaking. For a moment, it looked as
though words had failed her. She seemed to be swelling with
inexpressible anger -- but the swelling didn't stop. Her great red face
started to expand, her tiny eyes bulged, and her mouth stretched too
tightly for speech -- next second, several buttons had just burst from
her tweed jacket and pinged off the walls -- she was inflating like a
monstrous balloon, her stomach bursting free of her tweed waistband,
each of her fingers blowing up like a salami --
"MARGE!" yelled Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia together as Aunt Marge's
whole body began to rise off her chair toward the ceiling. She was
entirely round, now, like a vast life buoy with piggy eyes, and her
hands and feet stuck out weirdly as she drifted up into the air, making
apoplectic popping noises. Ripper came skidding into the room, barking
madly.
"NOOOOOOO!"
Uncle Vernon seized one of Marge's feet and tried to pull her down
again, but was almost lifted from the floor himself. A second later,
Ripper leapt forward and sank his teeth into Uncle Vernon's leg.
Harry tore from the dining room before anyone could stop him, heading
for the cupboard under the stairs. The cupboard door burst magically
open as he reached it. In seconds, he had heaved his trunk to the front
door. He sprinted upstairs and threw himself under the bed, wrenching up
the loose floorboard, and grabbed the pillowcase full of his books and
birthday presents. He wriggled out, seized Hedwig's empty cage, and
