"Eric Frank Russell - The Witness" - читать интересную книгу автора (Russell Eric Frank)

"You are accused," the judge went on, "generally of illegal entry into this world
known as Earth and specifically into the United States of America. Do you plead
guilty or not guilty?"
"How else can one enter?" inquired Maeth, in bold white letters.
The judge frowned. "Kindly answer my question."
"Not guilty."
"You have been provided with defending counselтАФhave you any objection to
him?"
"Blessed be the peacemaker."
Few relished that crack. It smacked of the Devil quoting Scripture.
Making a sign, the judge leaned back, polished his glasses.
Adjusting the robes on his shoulders, the prosecuting attorney came to his feet.
He was tall, hatchet-faced, sharp-eyed. "First witness!"
A thin, reedy man came out of the well of the court, took his chair, sat
uncomfortably, with fidgeting hands.
"Name?"
"Samuel Nall."
"You farm outside Dansville?"
"Yes, sir. IтАФ"
"Do not call me `sir.' Just reply to my questions. It was upon your farm that this
creature made its landing?"
"Your Honors, I object!" Mr. Defender stood up, a fat, florid man, but
deceptively nimble-witted. "My client is a person, not a creature. It should therefore
be referred to as the defendant."
"Objection overruled," snapped the middle judge. "Pro-ceed, Mr. Prosecutor."
"It was upon your farm that this creature landed?"
"Yes," said Samuel Nall, staring pridefully at the cameras. "It come down all of a
sudden andтАФ"
"Confine yourself to the question. The arrival was accom-panied by much
destruction?"
"
Yes. "
"How much?"
"Two barns and a dollop of crops. I'm down three thousand dollars."
"Did this creature show any remorse?"
"None." Nall scowled across the court. "Acted like it couldn't care less. "
Mr. Prosecutor seated himself, throwing a mock smile at the fat man. "Your
witness."
Standing up, the latter eyed Nall benevolently and in-quired, "Were these barns of
yours octagonal towers with walls having movable louvres and with barometrically
controlled roofs?"
Samuel Nall waggled his eyebrows and uttered a faint, "Huh?"
"Never mind. Dismiss that query and answer me this one: were your crops
composed of foozles and bicolored mer-kins? "
In desperation, Nall said, "It was ripe barley."
"Dear me! BarleyтАФhow strange! Don't you know what foozles and merkins are?
Wouldn't you recognize them if you saw them?"
"I reckon not," admitted Farmer Nall, with much reluc-tance.
"
Permit me to observe that you seem singularly lacking in perceptive faculties,"