"S. P. Somtow - The Fallen Country" - читать интересную книгу автора (Somtow S. P)

Usually I do not remember any dreams; but that night тАФ the fourth week of Billy's visits with me
тАФ I do remember things: dragons' wings, leathery, hung with icicles - - . Did my father ever beat
me? I couldn't even remember, damn
it!

Waking up. Outside тАФ a hurricane building up? Beating of giant wings?

I sat up on the bed. Through the mosquito netting of the open window I heard night-sounds,
insects, the ocean hidden by a dozen Hiltons and Ramada Inns. I thought of calling Pop, whom I
hadn't thought about in years, but I knew it was too late to patch up my life nowтАФ

There was a knock on the door.

Not the buzzer, not the little loudspeaker I use to force strangers to admit that they came in peace. I
did not move. It came again, and then that voice, that heart-wringing voice: "I'm cold, Mrs. Marx."

Children may not enter this domain.
How had he gotten past the security? Unless he had just materialized, like in his stories... I pulled
on a bathrobe and went, through the dusty little living room, to the door, opened it-

He collapsed into my arms. It was like...when I was a kid, hugging a snowman. "For God's sake,
Billy."

"I killed a monster today!" His voice frail, defiant. "But now I'm ready for him."

"Don't try to attack Pete, he's too strong for youтАФ"

"Pete? Screw Pete. I mean him."

He's going into fugue. Got to keep him here, got to keep him warm, or God knows what he'll tryтАФ

"Look at me, you bitch!" He ripped his teeshirt open. I saw blood. I saw scars. I saw blue bruises.
Red, white and blue, like the goddamn American flag. But his eyes were dry. And blazing. "Now try
to believe. You're all I have, Mrs. Marx. I'm going back like me Snow Dragon says, maybe forever.
Or until I kill the Ringmaster."

"No!" I tried to hold on to him, but he twisted away from me. Somehow he had warmed up, as
though the very fever of his anger could melt away the cold. I knew how unbearable the real world
was, I knew the cold hard beauty of his imaginary one, but I couldn't let him run away from reality, I
couldn't let him hide inside himself, I was conditioned to helping the children face the truthтАФ

"Believe me!" he shouted. "Come with me!"

Grasping at straws, "All right, all right!" Quickly I was pulling on an old dress, not caring that he
could see my sagging breasts тАФ we had come too close for modesty now тАФ I was shepherding him
out of the door, down the steps, into the car, thinking Hospital, doctor, shrink, anything, just anything ...

I am ashamed to admit that I was also afraid that seeing me walking through the condo grounds at
midnight would jeopardize my rental agreement, would force me out of my own fallen country.