"Austin O Spare - The Book Of Pleasure" - читать интересную книгу автора (Spare Austin Osman)
These and many other doctrines, are declared by me as the perpetuators of sin and illusion. Each and all depending on a muddled implication, obscuring, yet evolved from the duality of the consciousness for their enjoyment. In fear they would vomit hot blood were they to see the fruits of their actions and pleasures. Thus believing in widely different doctrines, they are of the dual principle, necessary parasites on each other. Like drugs and the surgeon's knife, they only annul or at best remove an effect. They do not change or remove the fundamental cause (the law). "Oh, God, thou art the stagnant environment." All is quackery: these religions whose very existence depend on their failure, are so full of misery and confusion, have only multiplied arguments, as full of argument as they are evil, so crowded with non-essentials, being so barren of any free pleasure in this life or another, I cannot uphold their doctrines. Their criterion for enjoyment-death! Better it were a man renounce them all, and embrace his own invincible purpose. He cannot go further, and this is his only release. By it he may put his pleasure where he will, and find satisfaction.
THE CONSUMER OF RELIGION
Kia, in its Transcendental and Conceivable Manifestation.
Of name it has no name, to designate. I call it Kia I dare not claim it as myself. The Kia which can be expressed by conceivable ideas, is not the eternal Kia, which burns up all belief but is the archetype of "self," the slavery of mortality. Endeavouring to describe "it," I write what may be but not usually-called the "book of lies"*(1). The unorthodox of the originable-a volant "sight," that conveys somehow by the incidental, that truth is somewhere. The Kia which can be vaguely expressed in words is the "Neither-Neither," the unmodified "I" in the sensation of omnipresence, the illumination symbolically transcribed in the sacred alphabet, and of which I am about to write. Its emanation is its own intensity, but not necessariness, it has and ever will exist, the virgin quantum-by its exuberance we have gained existence. Who dare say where, why and how it is related? By the labour of time the doubter inhabits his limit. Not related to, but permitting all things, it eludes conception, yet is the quintessence of conception as permeating pleasure in meaning. Anterior to Heaven and Earth, in its aspect that transcends these, but not intelligence, it may be regarded as the primordial sexual principle, the idea of pleasure in self-love. Only he who has attained the death posture can apprehend this new sexuality, and its almighty love satisfied. He that is ever servile to belief, clogged by desire, is identified with such and can see but its infinite ramifications in dissatisfaction*(2). The progenitor of itself and all things, but resembling nothing, this sexuality in its early simplicity, embodies the everlasting. Time has not changed it, hence I call it new. This ancestral sex principle, and the idea of self, are one and the same, this sameness its exaction and infinite possibilities, the early duality, the mystery of mysteries, the Sphinx at the gates of all spirituality. All conceivable ideas begin and end as light in its emotion, the ecstasy which the creation of the idea of self induces. The idea is unity by the formula of self, its necessary reality as continuity, the question of all things, all this universe visible and invisible has come out of it. As unity conceived duality, it begot trinity, begot tetragrammaton. Duality being unity, is time, the complex of conception, the eternal refluctuation to the primeval reality in freedom-being trinity of dualities, is the six senses, the five facets of sex-projecting as environment for self-assimilation in denial, as a complete sexuality. Being tetragrammaton of dualities is twelvefold by arrangement, the human complex, and may be called the twelve commandments of the believer. It imagines the eternal decimal, its multiplicity embracing eternity, from which spring the manifold forms, which constitute existence. Vitalized by the breath of self-love, life is conscious of one. Self being its opposing force, is alternately conflict, harmony, life and death. These four principles are one and the same-the conception considered as the complete "self" or consciousness-hence they may be blended into unity and Symbolized. One form made by two, that is three-fold and having four directions.
*(1) About this "Self"; all conception is the dual principle, the law which is its conception.
*(2) The unmodified sex principle refracted through the dual principle emanates the infinite variety of emotions or sexualities, which may be called its ramifications.
The Transcendental Law, the Law and Testament of the "New."
The law of Kia is its own arbiter, beyond necessitation, who can grasp the nameless Kia? Obvious but unintelligible, without form, its design most excellent. Its wish is its superabundance, who can assert its mysterious purpose? By our knowledge it becomes more obscure, more remote, and our faith-opacity. Without attribute, I know not its name. How free it is, it has no need of sovereignty! (Kingdoms are their own despoilers.) Without lineage, who dare claim relationship? Without virtue, how pleasing in its moral self-love! How mighty is it, in its assertion of "Need not be-Does not matter"! Self-love in complete perspective, serves its own invincible purpose of ecstasy. Supreme bliss simulating opposition is its balance. It suffers no hurt, neither does it labour. Is it not self-attracting and independent? Assuredly we cannot call it balance. Could we but imitate its law, all creation without command would unite and serve our purpose in pleasure and harmony. Kia transcending conception, is unchanging and inexhaustible, there is no need of illumination to see it. If we open our mouths to speak of it, it is not of it but of our duality, mighty though it be in its early simplicity! Kia without conceiving, produces its rendezvous as the fulness of creation. Without assertion the mightiest energy, without smallness it may appear the least among things. Its possession ours without asking, its being free, the only thing that is free. Without distinction, it has no favourites, but nourishes itself. In fear all creation pays homage-but does not extol its moral, so everything perishes unbeautifully. We endow ourselves with the power we concieve of it, and it acts as master-*, never the cause of emancipation. Thus for ever from "self" do I fashion the Kia, without likeness, but which may be regarded as the truth. From this consultation is the bondage made, not by intelligence shall we be free. The law of Kia is its ever original purpose, undetermined, without change the emanations, through our conception they materialize and are of that duality, man takes this law from this refraction, his ideas-reality. With what does he balance his ecstasy? Measure for measure by intense pain, sorrow, and miseries. With what his rebellion? Of necessity slavery! Duality is the law, realization by suffering, relates and opposes by units of time. Ecstasy for any length of time is difficult to obtain, and laboured heavily for. Various degrees of misery alternating with gusts of pleasure and emotions less anxious, would seem the condition of consciousness and existence. Duality in some form or another is consciousness as existence. It is the illusion of time, size, entity, etc.-the world's limit. The dual principle is the quintessence of all experience, no ramification has enlarged its early simplicity, but is only its repetition, modification or complexity, never is its evolution complete. It cannot go further than the experience of self-so returns and unites again and again, ever an anti-climax. For ever retrogressing to its original simplicity by infinite complication is its evolution. No man shall understand "Why" by its workings. Know it as the illusion that embraces the learning of all existence. The most aged one who grows no wiser, it may be regarded as the mother of all things. Therefore believe all experience to be illusion, and the law of duality. As space pervades an object both in and out, similarly within and beyond this ever-changing cosmos, there is this secondless principle.
* By scores of incarnations, our eventual "self" is derived from the attributes with which we endow our God, the abstract Ego or conceptive principle. All conception is a denial of the Kia, hence we are its opposition, our own evil. The offspring of ourselves, we are the conflict of what we deny and assert of the Kia. It would seem as though we cannot be too careful in our choice, for it determines the body we inhabit.
SOLILOQUY ON GOD-HEAD.
Who ever Thought Thus?
Something is causing Pain and something energizes the Agony: may it not be caused through the latent Idea of Supreme Bliss? And this eternal expectation, this amassing of ornament on decay, this ever-abiding thought-
Strange no one remembers being dead? Have you ever seen the Sun?-If you have then you have seen nothing dead-in spite of you different belief! Which is the more dead "you" or this corpse? Which of you has the greater degree of consciousness? Judging by expression alone-which of you appears enjoying Life most? May not this "belief" in death be the "will" that attempts "death" for your satisfaction, but can give you no more than sleep, decay, change-hell? This constant somnambulism is "the unsatisfactory."
You disbelieve in Ghosts and God-because you have not seen them? What! You have never seen the mocking ghosts of your beliefs?-the Laughing Bedlam of your humility or Mammon-your grotesque Ideas of "Self"? Yea, your very faculties and your most courageous Lies are Gods! Who is the slayer of your Gods-but a God!
There is no proof that you existed before? What an excuse! No one has returned to tell us? What a damning advocate! You are but what you were-somehow changed? You are the case Prima Facie that you are reincarnated to perhaps anything? "Perhapses" are possible! Can you do differently to what you do? Never shall I tire of asserting that you constantly do differently!
What is the "ugliness" that offends? Is it the vague knowledge that you will have to change your mind-that you are germinating what you contain? You are always remembering what you forgot; to-day may be the day of reckoning-of believing by force what you disbelieved? Now if to-day is yesterday in all but appearances-then to-morrow also is to-day- the day of decay! Daily is this universe destroyed, that is why you are conscious! There is no Life and Death? Such ideas should be less than comic.
There is no Duality?
You are conscious of the gay Butterfly you observe and are conscious of being "You": the Butterfly is conscious of being "itself," and as such, it is a consciousness as good as and the same as yours, i.e., of you being "you." Therefore this consciousness of "you" that you both feel is the same "you"?
Ergo, you are one and the same-the mystery of mysteries and the most simple thing in the world to understand! How could you be conscious of what you are not? But you might believe differently? So, if you hurt the Butterfly you hurt yourself, but your belief that you don't hurt yourself protects you from hurt-for a time! Belief gets tired and you are miserably hurt! Do what you will-belief is ever its own inconsistency. Desire contains everything, hence you must believe in everything-if you believe at all! Belief seems to exclude commonsense.
There is no doubt about it-this consciousness of "Thee" and "Me" is the unwelcome but ever ready torturer-yet it "need not be so" in any sense! Is it not a matter of Fear? You are fearsome of entering a den of Tigers? (And I assure you it is a matter of righteousness-(inborn or cultured)-whether you enter voluntarily or are chucked in, and whether you come out alive or not!) Yet daily you fearlessly enter dens inhabited by more terrible creatures than Tigers and you come out unharmed-why?
The Allegory.
Great scientists are finding out the death-dealing properties of the microbes they discover we breathe, and which according to their canons should destroy; we should be already dead? Have faith! The canons of science are quite correct, they do not disappoint the doubt! Our greater familiarity-"this impulse to knowledge" will certainly bring us the disease and death they give! And also give us in compensation their powers of destruction! For the destruction of whom? Things will be squared! Is this the value of the will? This "will to power"-how life preserving! How furthering of discriminate selection! How pleasing! Most noble explorers! O, you scientists-go on discovering the Bottomless Pit! When you are sodden with science-the lightning will thunder out the murder? New hope will be born? New creatures for the circus? (The conception of) God-head must ever evolve its inertia for transmutation to its very opposite-because it contains it!
The master must be the painful learner of his stupidity?
The idea of God ever means the forgetfulness of supremacy and Godliness. So must be supplanted by fear, eh?
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