"Austin O Spare - The Book Of Pleasure" - читать интересную книгу автора (Spare Austin Osman)
Gazing at your reflection till it is blurred and you know not the gazer, close your eyes (this usually happens involuntarily) and visualize. The light (always an X in curious evolutions) that is seen should be held on to, never letting go, till the effort is forgotten, this gives a feeling of immensity (which sees a small form ), whose limit you cannot reach. This should be practised before experiencing the foregoing. The emotion that is felt is the knowledge which tells you why.
The death posture is its inevitability accelerated, through it we escape our unending delay by attachment, the Ego is swept up as a leaf in a fierce gale- in the fleetness of the indeterminable, that which is always about to happen becomes its truth. Things that are self-evident are no longer obscure, as by his own will he pleases, know this as the negation of all faith by living it, the end of the duality of the consciousness. Of belief, a positive death state, all else as sleep, a negative state. It is the dead body of all we believe, and shall awake a dead corpse. The Ego in subjection to law, seeks inertion in sleep and death. Know the death posture and its reality in annihilation of law- the ascension from duality. In that day of tearless lamentation the universe shall be reduced to ashes . . . . but he escapes the judgment! And what of "I," most unfortunate man! In that freedom there is no necessitation, what dare I say more? Rather would I commit much sin than compromise myself. There are many preliminary exercises, as innumerable as sins, futile of themselves but designative of the ultimate means. The death posture in the reduction of all conception (sin) to the "Neither-Neither" till the desire is contentment by pleasing yourself. By this and by no other are the inertia of belief; the restoration of the new sexuality and the ever original self-love in freedom are attained. The primordial vacuity (or belief) is not by the exercise of focussing the mind on a negation of all conceivable things, the identity of unity and duality, chaos and uniformity, etc., etc., but by doing it now, not eventually. Percieve, and feel without the necessity of an opposite, but by its relative. Percieve light without shadow by its own colour as contrast, through evoking the emotion of laughter at the time of ecstasy in union, and by practice till that emotion is untiring and subtle. The law or reaction is defeated by inclusion. Were he to enjoy an hundred pleasures at a time, however much his ecstasy, he does not lose, but great increase takes place. Let him practise it daily, accordingly, till he arrives at the centre of desire. He has imitated the great purpose. Like this, all emotions should find equipoise at the time of emanation, till they become one. Thus by hindering belief and semen from conception, they become simple and cosmic. By its illumination there is nothing that cannot be explained. Certainly I find satisfaction in ecstasy. I have now told you a secret of great import, it was known to me in childhood. Even by sedulously striving for a vacuity of belief, one is cosmic enough to dwell in the innermost of others and enjoy them. Among men few know what they really believe or desire, let him begin, who would know, by locating his belief till he sees his will. Existing as dual, they are identical in desire, by their duality there is no control, for will and belief are ever at variance, and each would shape the other to its ends, in the issue neither wins as the joy is a covert of sorrow. Let him unite them.
THE CLOUDY ENEMIES BORN OF STAGNANT SELF-HYPNOTISM.
Natural belief is the intuition that compels belief through that which is experienced reacting, and dominating in turns; everything has to associate itself through its definite emotion, stimulated by those in harmony; those discordant, lose cogency and inhibit. So by its own workings belief is limited and determined for you. The majority of our actions can be traced back to a subconscious desire (for freedom) in conflict with habit, an obedience to inherent fatalism which hangs on "good and bad" actions already committed (in past existence) against a preserved morality* and whose reaction gives expression as spontaneity, involuntariness, autonomy, the deliberate, etc., as the chance arises. The rest is due to a conflicting traditional moral doctrine that has become constitutional (partly adopted to govern and time this reaction). In its origin, an idea of what was then considered conveniently good and bad . . . . To maximize pleasure by an arbitrary compromise of abstention and performance of desire feared. Assimilated by the deceit of its divine origin, its tenets are reward for obedience, punishment for transgression, both holding good for all time (this world and another). This moral code is a dramatised burlesque of the conceptive faculty, but is never so perfect or simple in that it allows latitude for change in any sense, so becomes dissociated from evolution, etc; and this divorce loses any utility and of necessity for its own preservation and the sympathy desired, evolves contradictions or a complication to give relationship. Transgressing its commandments, dishonesty shows us its iniquity, for our justification; or simultaneously we create an excuse or reason for the sin by a distortion of the moral code, that allows some incongruity. (Usually retaing a few unforgiveable sins- and an unwritten law.) This negative confession is a feigned rationalism that allows adventitious excuses . . . . a process of self-deception to satisfy and summarily persuade yourself of righteousness. What one among us has any excuse but self-love? We do not create or confess a morality that is convenient, that lends itself to growth, and remains simple, that allows transgression without excuse or punishment. It would be wise and commonsense to do so, whatever the state of affairs in your mind. Nature eventually denies that which it affirms: Through permanent association with the same moral code we help desire to transgress. Desire of those things denied, the more you restrict the more you sin, but desire equally desires preservation of moral instinct, so desire is its own conflict (and weakly enough). Have no fear, the Bull of earth has long had nothing to do with your unclean conscience, your stagnant ideas of morality. The microbe alone would seem without fear!
* The elemental morality or fear of displeasing.
The Complexity of the Belief (Know Thyself).
The nature of belief equals all possibilities ultimately true by identification through culture to an idea of time, so what is not timely is not true, and what is not true, prognostication. Thought of one thing, implies the possibility of another idea as contradicting but not dissociated, belief is to make "one" more convincing. The condition of belief is the denial or limit imposed on the capability of the vitality. To believe at all as such is a concentration and schooling to exclude the implied by adopting a hypothesis or faith that reflects non-worryingly or deceitfully rationalizes the rejected. Truth is not the truth of formula.
The centre of belief is love for one's self, projecting environment for fulfilment but allowing its distortion to simulate denial, an ambition to become ulterior to self-desire, but you cannot get further than the centre, so one multiplies (believes) in order to be more unaware of the fundamental. Now this refusal to believe what one believes and exactly as one believes, is the first condition for all those who are in desire in any sense whatsoever; the man who is in love perforce becomes a liar, self-hypnotised by his morbid ornamentation. You know the results. . . . .You can only "truly believe" one thing, yet its implexion is essential (as the truth seems to kill*), so the imagined goes on for ever. The imagination learns that the idea is its compulsion. To explain the "why" of belief (or of anything else), we must transcend its schism. By entire consciousness in how the self loves is the means. As we imitate this law of duality in all our processes of believing, it is not so simple as it seems. Who has transgressed the law of conception? Who has no fear? Yet by this sin, is the sciential of what determines the Schetic. Gracefully compelling or expecting disappointment at the time of desire is the means of locating its deceit, a consciousness that alone gives the chance of inquiry. Beyond it is something arbitrary, the pauser, the ordainer of law, imitating it by "reason" is but damning the consequences. Reason is belief, belief is fear of one's capability, the faith that you are not even all the wonders of creation, let alone the possibility of being the creator. It is delay . . . . Belief well earns the terrible hatred of the vitality. Belief is not freedom. Belief creates its necessary experience, progress germinates in retrogression. Consider the reality is somewhere: and your belief may be too small for its habitation. Oh, ye of much faith in God, merge into it by the worship of self! Ah! foolish man, worship the glorious in freedom. When death approaches the faith in God and desire of woman will not save you, what are their use when withering and decay sets in and the body is an object of disgust? And what is the use of knowledge and charity when reality is known? Unsheathe the sword of self; ideas of the Almighty should be constantly slain and righteousness should be inquired into.
* And does kill when feared.
Whosoever shall study his true nature a little, him does the "self" investigate with his extraordinary conduct. He can compel anything without offending. As the tendency of the most lustful ceases before publicity and death, so do morals and faith before the perfect bliss. A glimpse of the truth is born of purity of love: when the desire is without fear, when it does not desire possession. When the thought is fulfilled by vision. The fire that is all pleasure is loosed at his will, he is attraction, the cynosure of women. When the believing principle is devoid of faith, as sterile of possessing ideas of God - he is indestructible. Only when there is no fear in any form is there realisation of identity with reality (freedom). For them there is no danger in negligence, there being no discrimination. For him who is conscious of the slightest differentiation there is fear. So long as there is perception of self-reproach or conscience, there is pain germinating: there is no freedom. He who believes anything he perceives or imagines, falls into sin. By believing without feeling perturbation, forgetting ideas of external and internal, he regards everything as self, and is the consciousness of non-resistance, has no horizon: he is free. On seeing the star-lit eyes and rosebud mouths, the breasts and loins of beautiful women, you become lovingly attached, but if you fear, consider constantly that they are merely the charred flesh and bones of yourself after the torture. The space between the eternal and "self," is it not a moral doctrine? By unbelieving all one believes and sedulously without anxiety not believing (by the "Neither-Neither" process), the principle becomes simple and cosmic enough to include what you are always desiring, and you are free to believe what was impossible. The desire is so mighty, it asks no permission, and suffers no consequences, but the ecstasy of its possession. Against it nothing can prevail, it burns up, as celluloid cast into the furnace- the old folly of promising things on behalf of an imagined "another." At hand is the freedom of Heaven, the Way, the Truth, and the Light, and none dare say this of himself but by me, in Truth I alone am "Self," my will unconditioned, is magical. Those who have lived much in their nature will in some degree be familiar with such a sensation, poor though it be.
PREFACE TO SELF-LOVE
Let us be honest! Thou art "that," supreme in freedom, most desirable, beyond desire, untouched by the six stupifiers. The sexuality labours, so Death may harvest by desire. The elusive fancies of the senses are dangerous, because of the righteousness you have learned to obey and control them by. Hell-fire burns because you "conceived"; and will cease to hurt when you identify the Ego with all the possibilities of its qualities by believing as the "Neither-Neither" process. You are fire yet you are scorched! Because you have "willed" belief (differently or not makes no difference); the cycle of belief goes on and always obliges, so one day you must believe differently and the fire will no longer hurt- you are saved? There are other means of hurting you?
In that state which is not, there is no consciousness in any sense that thou art "that" (Kia), which is superb, beyond the range of definition: there is no temptation of freedom, "it" was not the cause of evolution. Hence "it" is beyond time, consciousness or unconsciousness, everything or nothingness, etc.; this I know through the "Neither-Neither" which is automatically beyond every conception, ever free in every sense. Perhaps "it" may not be obscure by continual afterthought and vaguely felt through the hand of innocence- but whoever understands such simple meanings? "It" is never perceived, being the imperceptible Ecstasy of the "Neither-Neither"- ever present but hidden by exhaustion through the cycle of Unity. The certainty of consciousness is always the uncertainty of the perceived or experienced in whatever state it may be, the constant doubt spelling fear, pain, decay, and the like- the cause of evolution, the eternal incompletion.
O, desire, listen! In point of virulence spiritual desire is as fatal as the sensuous. Aspiration towards a "supreme" is a network of deadly desires because of cowardice within, ergo, some unsatisfied wisdom awaiting exploitation to suffer its evolutions. There is no final wisdom- there is no final desire. How can anything end? Has to-day ever ended? These things are endlessness!
A person desires things of this world- but where is the difference of desiring the "Supreme Bliss"? Which is the more selfish? Which is nearer you? Which pleases the Creator more? Are you certain of the Creator's will and are you sure of your own desire? Are you the Creator or just yourself, as you fondly imagine your contents?
All these desires, however mighty, you will one day incarnate- yea, photograph. These things already exist- very soon you will have spiritual photographs (unfaked) but not by the camera you use at present. The pioneer is ever the old fool. An afterthought: some spirits are already photographed- the microbes.
Are you ever free of desideratum? Belief is eternal desire!
Desire is its own cruelty, the fettering of the hand to labour in some world unknown; nothing is always dead and no thought dies, the master becomes the slave- the position is alternate; you have long believed this, it is in the flesh of your generations with the most merciless Judge! The scorn of all your reforms or the inversion of your values!
This constant curse and blasphemy- is not the relief more in the knowledge of the nascent unrelenting taskmaster?
Are not our bodies all smeared with its blood? Has not the world ever been bloody? Are not our pleasures but rest to drink the blood of slaughter? O, determined Liars, ye know not yet the lie, it may be Truth!
The Ego is desire, so everything is ultimately desired and undesirable, desire is ever a preliminary forecast of terrible dissatisfaction hidden by its ever-present vainglory. The millenium will come and quickly go. Men will be greater than the Gods they ever conceived- there will be greater dissatisfaction. You are ever what you were but you may be so in a different form!
A person or a nation, however vain or content, falls immediately into unknown and inevitable desire, consuming him little by little through those conditions- any condition!
The mind becomes firm in desire by desire as devotion, but when realized is it then eternally desirable? (or even for a period of a million years). In Heaven shall be fettered thy foot! Therefore remove the conception that desire is pure, or impure, or has completion- remove it by the "Neither-Neither." Even whether the desire is for the exhasustion of desire by the "neither-Neither" or for realization in a wife- it is desire- its unending evolution. Therefore remove desire in any form by the "Neither-Neither." Remove the illusion that there is Spirit and Not-Spirit (this idea has never given beneficial results). Remove all conceptions by the same means.
So long as the notion remains that there is "compulsory bondage" in this World or even in dreams there is such bondage. Remove the conception of Freedom and Bondage in any World or State by meditation on Freedom in Freedom by the "Neither-Neither."
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