"Norman Spinrad - JOURNALS OF THE PLAGUE YEARS" - читать интересную книгу автора (Spinrad Norman)

"But--"
"You do know what I'll do if you refuse, don't you?" he said, leering at me. "I'll just offer someone with less scruples the same deal. Even if I'm just a lying lunatic, you won't have saved anyone from anything."
He had me there. I shrugged.
"I've got a room just around the corner," I told him.

DR. RICHARD BRUNO

It was the best sexual experience I've ever had in my life, or at any rate since my teenage years, back before the Plague. Flesh on flesh with no intervening interface or rubber, and with no fear of infection either, the pure simple naked act as it was meant to be. And while some part of me knew that it was adultery, an act of disloyalty to Marge, a better and higher part of me knew that it was an act of loyalty to a higher moral imperative--to Tod, to suffering humanity--and that only sharpened my pleasure.
But I did feel shame afterward and not for the adultery. For this, this pure simple act of what was once quite ordinary and natural pleasure, was what I had the power to bring back into the world, not just for me and for her and for Tod, but for everyone everywhere. This was my victory over the Enemy. And what was I doing with it?
Nothing. I was taking a million dollars a year's blood money to hold my silence and, admittedly, to preserve my own life.
But now that I had already taken the first step upon it, a way opened up before me. I could hold my silence and keep taking the money, but I could spread the dreadnaught virus far and wide, via this cult of Our Lady and my own clandestine action.
The moral imperatives of the oath of Hippocrates and the fondest desire of any man coincided. It was my duty to have meat with as many women as I could as quickly as possible.

LINDA LEWIN

I hadn't even dared to let myself want to believe it, but oh God, it was true!
The underground doctor to whom Richard Bruno had taken me ran antibody tests and viral protein tests and examined blood, mucus, and tissue samples through an electron microscope.
There was no doubt about it. I was free of all strains of the Plague. Indeed, there was not a retrovirus of any kind in my body.
"Do you know what this means?" I cried ecstatically on the street outside.
"Indeed I do. The long nightmare of the Plague Years is coming to an end. We're carriers of life--"
"And it's our duty to spread it!"
"First to my son. Then to as many others as quickly as possible. We need to infect as many vectors as we can before . . . in case . . . so that no matter what happens to us . . . "
I hugged him. I kissed him. In a way, in that moment, I think I began to love him.
"When?" I asked him breathlessly.
"Tonight. I'll bring him to your room."

DR. RICHARD BRUNO

Tod was all hot sweaty excitement when I told him I was taking him to a real human whore. "Oh Dad, Dad, thank you . . ." he cried. But then he hesitated, "This girl . . . I mean, you're sure she's . . . you know . . ."
Now I hesitated. Between telling him the easy lie that I had found him a real blue-carder or telling him the whole improbable truth. I sighed. I screwed up my courage. I had lived too long with deception.
"It's really true?" Tod said when I had finished. "The dreadnaught virus? What they did at Sutcliffe? All that money?"
I nodded. "Do you believe me, Tod?"
"Well yeah . . . I mean I want to, but . . . but why haven't you told Mom? Why haven't you . . . you know, given it to her?"
"Would she have trusted me?"
"I dunno . . . I guess not . . ."
"Do you trust me?"
"I want to . . . I mean . . ." He looked into my eyes for long moments. "I guess I trust you enough to take the chance," he finally said. "I'm the one that did all the talking about being brave, huh, Dad . . ."
I hugged my son to me. And I took him to Linda Lewin's room. He entered tremulously but he stayed almost two hours.

LINDA LEWIN

I longed to shout the glorious truth from the rooftops, but when Richard told me the whole horrible story of what had happened at Sutcliffe, I had to agree that I should continue the Work of Our Lady as before, spread the dreadnaught virus as far and wide as possible among the unknowing before those who would stop us could find out what was happening. It was hard to believe that such greedy evil was possible, but the fact that I was cured and the world knew nothing about the dreadnaught proved the sad truth that it was.
Richard swore Tod to secrecy too, and together and separately the three of us began to spread the joyful infection around Palo Alto, telling no one.
Why did I stay in Palo Alto for two weeks instead of resuming my usual rounds up and down California, when in fact spreading the cure around the state as quickly as possible would have probably been wiser and more effective?
Perhaps I felt the need to be near the only two people who shared the glorious secret and the deadly danger of discovery. Perhaps I had fallen in love in a strange way with Richard, with this tormented, fearful, but oh so brave man.
More likely that I knew even then in my heart of hearts that this couldn't last, that sooner or later Sutcliffe would get wind of it and we would have to run. And when that happened, Richard and Tod would be helpless naifs without me. Only Our Lady would have the connections and road wisdom to even have a chance to keep them one step ahead of our pursuers.

DR. RICHARD BRUNO

Once again, what could I possibly tell Marge? The whole story, including the fact that my Hippocratic oath required me to have meat with as many anonymous women as I could? That I had our son similarly doing his duty to the species?