render auctorial lectures unnecessary. For instance, instead of
telling the reader "She had a bad childhood, an unhappy
childhood," a specifid incident -- involving, say, a locked closet
and two jars of honey -- should be shown.
Rigid adherence to show-don't-tell can become absurd. Minor
matters are sometimes best gotten out of the way in a swift,
straightforward fashion.
Laughtrack. Characters grandstand and tug the reader's sleeve in
an effort to force a specific emotional reaction. They laugh
wildly at their own jokes, cry loudly at their own pain, and rob
the reader of any real chance of attaining genuine emotion.
Squid in the Mouth. The failure of an author to realize that
his/her own weird assumptions and personal in-jokes are simply not
shared by the world-at-large. Instead of applauding the wit or
insight of the author's remarks, the world-at-large will stare in
vague shock and alarm as such a writer, as if he or she had a live
squid in the mouth.
Since SF writers as a breed are generally quite loony, and in
fact make this a stock in trade, "squid in the mouth" doubles as a
term of grudging praise, describing the essential, irreducible,
divinely unpredictable lunacy of the true SF writer. (Attr. James
P Blaylock)
Squid on the Mantelpiece. Chekhov said that if there are dueling
pistols over the mantelpiece in the first act, they should be
fired in the third. In other words, a plot element should be
deployed in a timely fashion and with proper dramatic emphasis.
However, in SF plotting the MacGuffins are often so overwhelming
that they cause conventional plot structures to collapse. It's
hard to properly dramatize, say, the domestic effects of Dad's
bank overdraft when a giant writhing kraken is levelling the city.
This mismatch between the conventional dramatic proprieties and
SF's extreme, grotesque, or visionary thematics is known as the
"squid on the mantelpiece."
Handwaving. An attempt to distract the reader with dazzling prose
or other verbal fireworks, so as to divert attention from a severe
logical flaw. (Attr. Stewart Brand)
You Can't Fire Me, I Quit. An attempt to diffuse the reader's
incredulity with a pre-emptive strike -- as if by anticipating
the reader's objections, the author had somehow answered them. "I
would never have believed it, if I hadn't seen it myself!" "It
was one of those amazing coincidences that can only take place in
real life!" "It's a one-in-a-million chance, but it's so crazy it
just might work!" Surprisingly common, especially in SF. (Attr.
